A burst of something bubbles up inside me and I realize how fucking lucky I am. I am the luckiest man in the world because this woman has seen through all of my bullshit and ignored all of the attitude and when it was all said and done, she let me in anyway.
“I want you, Van. I want all of you. I want you inside me right now.”
“I think I can do that,” I whisper because my mouth has gone dry.
Joely unties the string on my sweats and pulls my tee shirt off. She rolls off of me and onto her back and lets me take off her leggings and her tiny black panties, then she slides my sweats and my shorts down and we’re completely naked, my cock standing at attention.
She pulls me on top of her and spreads her legs and she feels so small under me I am afraid I am going to break her. Then she guides me to her and urges me inside.
I kiss her as I enter her, moving as slowly as I can, wanting to feel every inch of me fill every inch of her as I finally, finally come home.
Chapter Twenty
JOELY
Van’s body fits perfectly with mine. He’s exactly a foot taller than me and it’s like we were made for each other. I lay with my head on his chest, his huge arm cradling me as he sleeps, and I feel protected and safe and… whole. Now that Van and I have come together, it’s like there’s balance among the four of us that wasn’t there before.
We made love tonight. Deep, serious love. It wasn’t rushed and it wasn’t a race to the finish. It felt like we were finally meeting for the first time and he was tender and gentle, generous and slow. All this time I thought of Van as this hard, coarse guy. I assumed the rough exterior was an honest advertisement for what he held inside. But the opposite is true. I keep running over the things we talked about, the things he said, and the way he made me feel, and the man who I met tonight is nothing like the Van I was expecting. He was so much more.
I nestle down against him and close my eyes, finally giving myself over to sleep.
In my dream, I am in the woods surrounded by evergreen trees. Tobias stands before me, his white fur lit by the moonlight, his amber eyes glowing, and the long scruff at his neck blowing in the breeze. A pair of ravens croak and click from a branch over my shoulder while the Tobias’s rough edgy essence surrounds me. It’s absolutely silent for a change. No fangs no screaming, no red eyes blazing in attack.
I close my eyes and draw Tobias’s energy to me, allowing him to wrap himself around me, probing my body and warming me despite the cold of the night. Angus steps out from the trees. He stands next to me, facing Tobias, the gray wolf and the white dip their heads in greeting. Then Marco’s black wolf appears like a shadow. The opposite of Tobias with his dark green eyes and his jet black fur. Van appears at last, the white wolf steps into the circle. He’s Tobias’s twin. They are identical in every way, except the eyes. Tobias has bright amber eyes to Van’s blue, but otherwise, I can’t find any way to tell them apart.
My wolves and I stand together, facing Tobias. The wind ceases and the ravens go still in the trees. There’s a moment of nothingness, no breath, no heartbeats, no movement from anyone.
Then Tobias throws his head back and howls. It’s the howl of agony and loss. The cry of an animal desperate for something, longing and aching and crying with need.
He keeps on howling, and then blood starts running from his mouth, staining his fur and dripping onto the ground. It pools and then runs in a line along the forest floor, turning around and around, forming a circle like a thick red snake trying to swallow its tail.
Tobias stops howling and drops to the ground, his eyes open and his tongue hanging out. The wolf is dead.
I spring from the dream, startling awake.
Van pulls me close to him as he sits up. “What the hell was that?”
“Sorry. I had a dream.”
Van’s door flies open and Marco and Angus are there. The two of them take in the sight of Van and me naked in his bed and the stop short for a second as if catching their thoughts.
Angus clears his throat. “Something’s wrong. Tobias. We were all there. He was howling… I have no idea what the hell it means but something’s wrong.”
Marco nods. “I saw it too.”
“I did too,” I say, looking between the three of them.
“Same here.” Van says. “I’ve never seen anything like that before. What does it mean?”
I clear my throat. “That’s how he comes to me. Tobias. I see him in those woods all the time.”
Angus nods. “It’s the grove where we’re from. It’s the woods where we used to play when we were… before… when we were kids.” Angus turns his forearm to show us the tattoo he has of Tobias on his arm. “It’s exactly the same,” he says.
Van pulls on his sweats and hands me my leggings. “But what does it mean? How did we all see that at the same time?”
Marco rubs his face. “We have to go back.”
“Back?” Angus says. “You think Tobias wants us to go back home? Why? There’s nothing left for us in Switzerland.”
“No. I mean to the room where he held us. Underwood. Maybe Tobias is trying to tell
