“That was Sherlock in a nutshell,” Gramps said to Freida.
“He’s seems nice for such an…odd creature.”
“He’s okay,” Maria said with a wink. “Now, what’s going on? Why are you back with a witch and not a Gnome?”
Gramps walked toward Maria and took her hands. “Our situation has become dire.”
“More dire than before?” Maria sat on the couch, her head spinning. “I find that hard to believe.”
“I wish it weren’t true,” Gramps answered. “Our friend Gelbus Cogspark may be in danger. Seeing how he is our one chance—aside from hiring a Willen to break into the Gnomes’ vault, that is, and that’s quite risky…never trust a Willen—we must get him out of said danger before it’s too late.”
“How does Frieda play into all of this?”
“She’ll be our guide,” Gramps answered.
Frieda bowed, her dark skirt flourishing. “At your service.”
“Frieda and I have worked out a deal. We can trust her,” Gramps said.
Behind him, Claire and Tabby made kissing noises. Gramps whirled around on them, and they shrank against the television, which was now showing a yogurt commercial with Jamie Lee Curtis talking about gut bacteria and her good digestion.
“Sorry, sorry,” Claire said.
“Yeah, please don’t turn us into frogs,” Tabby echoed.
Maria couldn’t help but smile. “Where are we going?” she asked once everyone settled down.
Gramps sighed. “I wish it was just me going, but I will need you, Maria. This will be no easy task.”
“Never expected it to be. So far, it’s been anything but easy. Giant spiders and blown up clown heads.”
The dark witch gave Maria an inquisitive look.
“Long story,” Maria answered, waving a hand.
“We are traveling to the town of Ashbourne. It’s a small fishing village not far from the Light Castle,” Gramps said.
“When you say ‘not far,’ do you mean like walking distance…or portaling distance?” Maria asked.
“Nearly everywhere in Oriceran is portaling distance.”
“Yeah, why walk when you can just portal?” Tabby said.
“Ooh, you should sell that technology to Google!” Claire squee-ed. “Make a killing.”
With a deep sigh, Gramps rubbed at his temples. “Magic is not for exploitation, nor is it something that can be learned by those who do not already possess some of the ability in their DNA. Google would not be interested in doing business with the magical community again.”
“Why not?” Maria asked, honestly curious.
“Long story.” Gramps waved a hand. “But since Google Plus never fully took off like they expected, they’ve been wary of dealing with magical folk.”
“You mean we had a hand in creating Google Plus?” Maria asked.
“Oh, we’ve had a hand in everything from The Rolling Stones’ success to the moon landing.”
“What the hell?” Claire said, amazed.
“That reminds me,” Gramps said, bringing a hand up to his beard, “I should give Mick a call. It’s been too long.”
“Mick as in Mick Jagger?” Tabby said. “Oh, my God, my mom loves him! Could you get me an autograph? If I gave her that for her birthday, I’d definitely become her favorite child.”
“I’m sure I can—” Gramps began, but Frieda cleared her throat and cut him off. “Right, we’ll see after our mission is complete.”
“Yeah, Ashbourne, right,” Maria said. “What exactly are we doing there?”
Gramps grinned, a slight amusement in his eyes. “We, Maria, are doing something not many people have done before.”
“The suspense is killing me,” Maria replied, twirling her index finger. “Go on.”
“We are going to slay a dragon.”
“What? No way, you’re messing with me.” Maria looked from Gramps to Frieda. There was no hint of a lie on either of their faces.
“No, no, I swear it.”
Now, Maria saw the expression on Claire and Tabby’s face. They were stark white, their eyes as big as plates.
“The Rogue Dragons were beasts raised by ancient evil. Long, long ago, they ruled over certain areas of the world. Those who opposed them were burnt to a crisp or eaten, and those who did not oppose them became followers of the Dragon’s rule. They are called Dragon Tongue,” Gramps said.
“Weird name.”
“Our friend Gelbus Cogspark was directed to the town by a Dragon Tongue. My guess is that they had heard of the Gnome’s firing from the library and hunted him down until they found him at Ves Ielan. And if Mr. Cogspark is in Ashbourne, there are only three possible outcomes for the poor Gnome,” Frieda said. She listed them off on her fingers. “One, he is being tortured until he spills the secrets of the raising of a Rogue Dragon. Two, he has already spilled the secrets and has been murdered by the followers. And last, the dragon has risen and swallowed the town whole.”
“So our prospects are looking pretty grim,” Maria said. “Sounds right up my alley.”
“Of course,” Gramps said, being the ray of hope in all the darkness, “there is another option… Gelbus held his tongue, and the dragon has yet to rise.”
Suddenly, Sherlock darted into the room, another slobbery piece of paper in his mouth. Maria took it mostly out of reflex, too lost in the idea of becoming a dragon slayer. If only her mother could see her now. She wondered if she would be proud. I’m doing the right thing. Of course she would be proud, Maria thought.
There it is. One Dog Prom invitation, Sherlock said.
Maria read the paper over and didn’t even bother to laugh this time. “Sherlock, this is a bill for the vet…for when you had to have your nip—”
Barking cut her off. Sherlock jumped up and snatched the paper back, chewing on it until it was nothing but a wet wad. Then he swallowed.
I don’t know what she’s talking about. I never had to go to the vet because anything went wrong with my nipples. What’s the point for males to even have nipples, you know?
Slowly, he was backing out of the room, his eyes searching everyone else’s.
“They can’t hear you, you do know that, don’t you?”
I promise. My nipples are all good. All in perfect working order.
“We both know that’s a lie. Don’t you remember when—” Maria said.
Can it,
