“It was never on in the first place because it’s a made-up thing,” Maria whispered to herself. She looked back at Freida and Gramps. “Right, okay, dragon, Gnome, crazy dragon worshippers.”
“Starting to sound like just another regular day in the life of Maria Apple,” Claire said, a smile on her face.
“I don’t know if that’s a good thing or a really weird thing,” Tabby said. She rubbed the bandage around her neck.
Maria shrugged. “Well, let’s go slay a fucking dragon.”
“Language, Maria!” Gramps snapped.
“Oh, please, we are about to do the impossible; I think I earned the right to cuss a little.”
Frieda nodded. “I cannot argue with that logic, Ignatius, especially if what you told me happened here the other day was true.”
Gramps sighed loudly. “Fine. Let’s go save that fucking town!”
“That’s the spirit!”
Out of nowhere, using his stored power from being on Oriceran, a portal opened in the living room.
“Next stop, Ashbourne,” he said.
Maria caught eyes with Tabby and Claire. “I think you should sit this one out.”
Tabby shifted uncomfortably and Claire looked quite disappointed.
“You know, stick around here and report on any weird, ghostly spider legs. If things are real slow, head on down to Salem’s. I’m sure he will need some back up when the Griffins show up, questioning him about what happened with Malakai and all that stuff.” They were Maria’s best friends, part of her family. She didn’t want to risk another near-death experience, like the one that occurred in the ruined village of Dominion. “If anyone can hold ghostly spider legs off, you two can.”
Claire nodded.
Tabby came forward and threw her arms around Maria. She hugged her so tight that Maria could hardly breathe. Claire came over seconds later and hugged her, too.
“Uh…guys,” Maria choked out, “can’t…b-breathe.”
They let go.
“Just be careful,” Claire said.
“Yeah, don’t be stupid.”
“Carefulness and stupidity while slaying a dragon don’t really go hand-in-hand, I think,” Maria answered.
“You know what we mean.”
Maria smiled. “I do. But if I die, at least wait a few months before one of you guys goes after Joe.” She winked.
“Don’t even joke about that,” Tabby said.
“Sorry, sorry.” Maria turned and whistled toward Sherlock’s room. “Come on, fatty, time to go kick a dragon’s ass.”
Hm, Sherlock answered, coming around the corner faster than before, as much fun as that sounds, I think—
“There’s a Gnome in it for you.”
Do I get to pee on him?
“I don’t know what’s with you and peeing on things,” Maria said, bending down so she was eye-to-eye with Sherlock, “but if we slay a dragon and save this Gnome’s life, I’m sure he’d be honored to have you pee on him.”
Sherlock’s eyes lit up. What’s the situation on the food?
“All the dead squirrels and Raffins you can eat,” Maria answered. It wasn’t exactly a lie because she couldn’t be one hundred percent certain that there wasn’t an all-you-can-eat feast of dead squirrels and Raffins in Ashbourne. She had never been there. And if saying that got Sherlock to come along for the ride, then she figured no harm, no foul.
Fine, count me in. But if I miss my Dog Prom…
“Cool it with the Dog Prom, Sherlock. It’s not real.”
Neither was magic a few days ago, eh, Maria?
Maria narrowed her eyes. Behind her, Frieda said her goodbyes to Tabby and Claire, mentioning how it was such a pleasure to meet real-live Earth people.
“You got a point there,” Maria said to the Bloodhound. “If you can’t get a date to go with you, then you can take me.”
You mean it?
“Yes, but just as friends…obviously.”
Obviously. You’re with Joe now, and I like cat— Er, I mean, catalope…I like cataracts.”
“Real good save there, Sherlock.”
Thank you. I mean, I dunno what you’re talking about, catalopes is my favorite!
“I think you mean cantaloupe.” Maria emphasized the ’n.’
Sherlock brought a paw up and examined his claws. Maria…oh, sweet Maria.
“Don’t do that—” Maria started to say.
Anything is food if you’re brave enough. Including catalope.
“You’re gross.”
“Are we ready? Time is ticking on the other side,” Gramps said.
Maria stepped forward, but not before Tabby and Claire could wish her good luck. She thanked them and took one last, long look around her living room, taking in the TV playing some weird soap opera, the ratty recliner and even older and more worn flowery love seat by the window, the mismatched curtains, the 70’s shag carpet. I hope I come back. I’m gonna miss this.
Okay, Maria, of course you’re gonna come back. You’re an ass-kicking witch now, she quickly thought.
Gramps stuck out his hand, Maria took it, then she took Freida’s, and Sherlock came up behind her and caught the hem of her leather jacket with his teeth.
“Let’s go,” Gramps said.
“Woo! Slay that fucking dragon!” Tabby shouted.
“Tab,” Claire whispered, embarrassed for her outburst.
They stepped through the portal. It was the last thing Maria heard before she was sent to Oriceran.
Chapter Eleven
The feeling of weightlessness, of traveling at the speed of light, that Maria felt the few times she had gone through a portal was stopped abruptly. Gramps had said that everyone experienced portaling differently; some get intense motion sickness, others get a euphoric feeling of being two places at once, as one foot catches up with the other. Maria normally seemed to be in the middle of these two extremes. If one could call portaling normal.
But now—now, something happened.
Something went wrong.
She heard high-pitched screaming drifting back to her. She heard Sherlock, barking and growling. She heard something thrashing.
She saw nothing…besides the darkness.
Suddenly, the breath was knocked out of her. “Oooh,” she moaned, rolling over. Her tailbone was throbbing. I thought Gramps said the landing gets easier. So wrong.
She felt grass beneath her fingers. It was short and stubbly, poking through her jeans. She opened her eyes, seeing stars floating around her vision, and something else—
The portal.
It was still open, but she no longer saw her living room or
