I didn’t answer him then, and I still haven’t now. I don’t want to. I don’t want to have to have this conversation with my father – the one where I tell him that there is a man back in Valor who I can’t stop thinking about, a man who makes everything in my life make sense. A man I only spent a night with, but who I miss as though it has been a lifetime.
In all the exhaustion of everything that has been happening, I suppose that I haven’t been paying much attention to what’s going on inside my own body. It isn’t until Todd makes some asshole offhand comment that I must be on my period because I’m so moody that something hits me... my period is late.
I push it down at first, pinning it on the stress that I have been through, everything that has been happening, but I know there is more to it than that. My skin crawls as I head to a pharmacy near the hospital, pick up a test, and slip into the bathroom to take it.
I haven’t really been feeling anything too rough, so maybe it’s just the stress that has pushed my period back. Yes, nothing for me to worry about.
Please...
I wait three minutes before I look at the test, scared to see the result.
And my heart drops when I see what it says.
Positive.
I feel tears rolling down my cheeks – I hardly even notice that I’m crying until the wetness hits my skin. This can’t be happening. Not after everything else. Don’t I deserve a break? Don’t I deserve a damn second to pull myself together...?
Knowing I can’t stand in a public bathroom crying all day, I splash cold water on my face before taking a deep breath and heading back to my father’s room. He is preparing to leave the hospital today. He is still in a wheelchair, but the worst is behind us. His bags are packed and he’s coming back to the Airbnb where Todd and I have been staying.
I hope he won’t notice my blotchy red face, streaked in tears. But seeing as he is my dad, he knows right away that something is off.
"What’s wrong, baby?”
I shake my head. I can’t tell him. But then, how am I going to hide it? He’s going to find out eventually. And if I don’t tell someone about this soon, I’m going to lose my mind.
"I’m..."
I trail off. I can’t do this. Can I?
"What’s up?” he asks, his brow furrowing with concern. I know that I have to come clean.
And so, I do.
"Daddy, I’m pregnant."
Shock courses over his face, but a moment later, a smile cracks it wide open. A smile? He’s happy...?
"That’s wonderful news," he tells me. "Does Todd know yet? I’m sure he’s going to be the most amazing father–"
I screw my face up in disgust at the mere notion of Todd being the father of this child. No. Not a chance in hell. My father tips his head to the side at me.
"What is it?”
"Todd’s... not the father," I confess. And I watch as a dawning realization spreads over his face – and my heart sinks as I try to imagine what is to come next.
11
Shotgun
I push the engine as hard as it’ll go as I cover the last few miles to Denver. I’m so close to her, I can almost taste it. I need to see her. And I know that she needs me.
She called me up a few hours ago, not her usual bright self – instead, I heard her tearful voice, and was sure something had happened to her father.
I’ve put the pieces together over the last few weeks. Her dad has real strong opinions on guys like me, ones who ride with a motorcycle club. And she doesn’t want to upset him while he’s in recovery. And I get it. I do. But her voice cracking on the phone changed my mind. I need her in my arms. Now. And forever.
"Spring, what is it?” I asked her. I hated hearing her like that. It wasn’t right. Not right that I wasn’t there with her.
"I... I’m going to need to see you when I get back. It should be in the next few days," she explained. "I’m sorry to have to do it like this, but we can talk about it then..."
"It’s serious?” I asked her.
"It’s serious," she murmured. "I’ll speak to you soon, okay?”
"Where are you staying in Denver?" I demanded.
"W-what do you mean?”
"Text me the address," I told her. "I’ll be there by the end of the day."
I hung up the phone and, a moment later, her message appeared in my inbox. As soon as I had it, I went to grab my helmet from the bedside table, and stalked out to my bike.
I don’t think I’ve ever driven harder or faster in my life. I need to get to her. My mind is racing – what's happening? Is it her father? I have no idea. But she wants me there, just as much as I need to see her once more.
I have asked a hundred times to come see her since she has been gone. But she’s been adamant that I shouldn’t. That her father needed to be her priority, and I’ve respected that. Until now. Her voice on the phone… hell, she sounded broken in ways that I couldn’t bear.
I cut through the bustling city night until I come across the rental house that I see matches the address that she sent me. Pulling the bike to a halt, I hear the door slam, and look up to see her running towards me.
"Shotgun!” she calls out to me, and I lean down to scoop her up into my arms. I bury my head in her shoulder, inhaling her scent, her touch lighting fires in me that have been too dim to notice for the last few weeks. I know it,
