But for Livy to deceive him? Pain tore through his chest. Like a trapped animal, he wanted to sever the part of him that kept him ensnared. To claw out the aching organ that left him open and vulnerable.
This is what happens when you concede control to a female. They run roughshod over you.
Livy wetted her lips. “If I tell you the truth, you must promise you won’t be angry.”
Was she insane?
“You play behind my back and think I won’t be angry?” he snarled.
“Play behind your back…” She blinked.
In the moonlight, her eyes were luminescent pools, and their apparent innocence, paired with her harlot’s attire, enraged him more.
“Why else would you be at the pleasure gardens by yourself? Dressed like a light-skirt?” He drove a fist into the shrubbery, the sharp jab of twigs a welcome distraction from the pain of betrayal. “I knew you were lying to me about why you could not meet tonight.”
“I’m not here to…to consort with men,” she protested. “You must believe me.”
You must believe me. God, how many times had he heard those very words from Arabella? Each time, he had given in and taken her back. Because he was weak and did not guide his wife with a firm hand. Because he would rather challenge men to duels than face the fact that the woman he loved cared for no one but herself.
He could not change the past. But he would be damned if he travelled down this path again.
“I told you I will accept nothing but honesty from any future wife of mine,” he said bitterly. “I will escort you home. After that, what you do no longer concerns me.”
“Please, Hadleigh, let me tell you the truth—”
“I don’t give a damn what you have to say, Olivia. Thinking we could be lovers was a mistake from the start, and I’m putting an end to it,” he bit out. “I will not be with a woman whom I cannot trust.”
He turned to go. She grabbed his arm, her expression stricken.
“This is about the Earl of Longmere,” she blurted.
He froze. “You are having an affair with Longmere?”
“No.” She looked so appalled that he knew she told the truth. “He is Pippa’s husband, for heaven’s sake.”
“Then how the devil are you involved with him?” When she didn’t reply, he caught her chin. Forced her gaze to his. “Do not try my patience any further this eve.”
“I’m involved because of Pippa. She’s in low spirits, and you know she is never that way.”
Having socialized with the countess, Ben knew she was possessed of a sunny disposition.
“And how does this pertain to you?” he asked, frowning.
“Well, she, um, told me that she was concerned about Longmere. He hasn’t been himself, apparently. He’s been moody, not sleeping well, staying out until all hours at his painting studio…he’s a painter, you’ll recall.” When Ben gave a curt nod, she went on, “Pippa even suspects that he might be unfaithful. I could not stand to see her in such distress…so I offered to help her. To find out what he is up to.”
Ben stared at her. A thousand responses flew through his mind.
He settled for, “Tell me you are joking.”
“It is no jest.” She had the audacity to raise her chin. “I consider my friend’s happiness a serious matter. If I can do something to help, why wouldn’t I?”
Pressure built in Ben’s head. He opened his mouth…and closed it. As far-fetched as her story seemed, it was also exactly the sort of damned foolish thing Livy would do. She was loyal to a fault, would do anything for the people she loved…and the recognition punctured his bubble of rage.
This was Livy. Not Arabella. Livy was a maddening, mischief-making minx…but she was no cheater. Relief flooded him with almost painful intensity.
“You believe me, don’t you?” Livy searched his face with anxious eyes. “I swear to you, I would never betray you in that way, Hadleigh. I couldn’t. I love you.”
Already shaken by the force of his relief, he was staggered by her profession.
“Livy—”
“I didn’t want to lie about tonight.” Her beseeching look melted away his fury. “I just didn’t think you would understand my desire to help Pippa.”
“I understand your motivation; it is the way you are going about helping your friend that alarms me.” Another realization struck him. “Were you at the Black Lion because of Longmere as well?”
“Yes,” she said in a small voice.
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I didn’t think you would approve.”
“I absolutely do not approve.” He gave her a severe look. “Putting your life and reputation at risk is unacceptable, no matter the reason.”
Her bottom lip trembled. “But I have to help Pippa—”
“That is no excuse,” he stated. “As for Longmere, leave him to me. I have business with him.”
Business that had once again been delayed because of Livy. By Jove, the chit was a handful. The kind of woman who would age a man before his bloody time.
“What sort of business?” she asked.
“It’s irrelevant at present,” he said shortly.
Her expression tentative, she said, “Are you still angry?”
He gave her the truth. “Yes.”
“Do you still want to…to court me?”
Her vulnerability constricted his chest. She was so young. Pure of heart and intention, even when her actions were reckless in the extreme.
“You said I needed time to think, but I know what I want: you. Always you.” Her voice broke a little. “Please, Hadleigh, won’t you give me another chance?”
Staring into her pleading eyes, he felt the beauty of who she was: it shone through her tawdry disguise and hit him straight in his gut…and in his prick. His jealousy had faded, but now his blood was pumping with a different sort of need. Whether it was right or wrong, he wanted Livy. Wanted to cherish and protect her as much as he wanted to own her surrender. For some reason, Fate had seen fit to give him his precious little
