“It doesn’t involve enough proposed action. What’re you afraid of, brother?”
I squint at him with one eye closed. “Didn’t we already discuss this?”
He grunts. “Yes, she’s set to leave Bam in June. Blah, blah, cry me a fucking sewer stream. Why won’t you ask her to stay?”
“I’m not stupid, man. She’s gonna go no matter what.” The sooner I accept that, the faster I can repair this Audria-sized hole in my chest.
“How about you try to find a positive solution?”
Sour acid gurgles in my gut. “That didn’t work so well for you, Keets.”
“Don’t be a dick. My disaster with Ana has no place here. That was a totally different story, one that doesn’t need to taint what you could have with Audria. Don’t try using my pain as an excuse.” Gavin rakes his fingers through his hair, yanking on the ends.
“Sorry,” I offer lamely.
“You should be.”
“All this talk of making moves and big feelings has me defensive. I didn’t mean to lash out.”
He chugs an entire glass of water, passing me the other one. “Quit mansplaining, and call your girl.”
If only she were mine. It feels like all the air was snatched from my lungs. With a loud exhale, I hang my head in my hands. “I chickened out, man. Audria gave me the chance to spill my guts, and I blew it.”
Gavin gapes at me. “You’re a fucking mess. Pull it together, man. You’ll have another opportunity on Sunday.”
“It’s more complicated than that,” I murmur.
He scratches his eyebrow. “Care to elaborate? Or is the plan to continue arguing until you pass out?”
Even in the slosh of booze, I can make sense of what’s bothering me. Explaining it clearly is another matter entirely. “Crops don’t grow in the snow. It’s our off-season.”
His forehead pinches with a grid of wrinkles. “Okay?”
I wait for more, but he just stares at me. “Do you get it?”
“If you’re asking if I understand your drunk rambling, the answer is no.”
“I’m not surprised this happened,” I admit. “My girl is amazing in every sense of that overused word. Plants aren’t meant to grow in the winter, but my feelings are definitely sprouting.” Who the fuck am I trying to fool? I’ve grown a mature oak tree with gnarled roots by now.
Gavin laughs so hard that tears collect on his lashes. “Wow, that’s some deep shit. Did you come up with that all on your own?”
I crack my neck with a pop. “At least I don’t regurgitate lines from a cancelled sitcom.”
He slaps my nape with a flat palm. “You take that back, brother. Friends is a classic that will never die.”
I rub at the burn with a wince. “Yeah, whatever. It’s not too bad. But speaking of ending a good thing, should I pull the plug with Audria? That’s what she wants.” But I find that’s the last thing I want.
Gavin looks ready to shake me. I don’t blame him. “I can’t follow this conversation. She wants you to break up with her?”
“That’s part of the agreement. If I sprout feelings, we call it. Haven’t you been listening?”
He tilts his head back with a groan. “Good Lord, grant me patience.”
I finish my beer and signal for another. Buck points at the water in front of me. Lame. “I guess I’m cut off.”
His gaze slides to mine. “You know that never happens. If you really wanna get shitfaced, Buck will serve you.”
What I really want is for Audria to be parked on the empty stool beside me. I glare at the vacant seat. The sight offends me, sending a hollow pang through my chest. I press a hand to the spot, picturing the hole that’s about to spread wider. But maybe it doesn’t have to. Gavin nudges me, and I blink into awareness.
“What’s rattling around in that foggy brain of yours?”
A sigh whispers from my lips. “Love, man.”
He snorts. “You really are plastered.”
I scrub a hand over my jaw. “Nah, I think it’s coming together.”
“So, you’re going to tell her?”
“Yep, I’m gonna screw my heart on straight.”
He laughs. “That’s not how it goes.”
I lift my shoulder lazily. “Does it really matter?”
“Nope, just don’t be a coward.”
I thump the center of my chest. “No backing down. I’m going to put myself out there.”
“Now you’re speaking a proactive-relationship language,” he whoops.
“Oh, you understand me now?” Not that it matters. A light is flashing at me from the end of this dreary path, and the sun shines over my stool. Or I’m seeing things. Either way, I’m not completely numb, and the day is looking up.
He smacks a hand on the bar top. “Yeah, buddy. I’m like a proud older brother.”
“You’re younger than me,” I drawl.
“Don’t ruin the moment with semantics. Get your shit together so Audria won’t flee the second she catches wind of that dragon breath.” He swats at the air between us.
I barely listen as my plan solidifies despite the alcohol content in my blood. “It’s settled. Fuck the consequences. The worst she can do is leave, which is what will happen anyway. I’m going to ask her to stay.” I smile for what feels like the first time in months. “Five days is plenty for me to destroy all our roadblocks. She’ll never see it coming.”
Another glance at the clock only intensifies my fidgeting. I could deal with the luggage taking up residence on the floor or make a quick snack. Neither option seems gratifying enough to abandon my post of aimlessly watching time pass.
When someone finally knocks, I almost leap from my skin. A scent of new beginnings and fresh possibilities fills the air. I’m practically tripping over my own feet in the haste to bask in Reeve’s aroma. With a skip in my step, I rush to the foyer and swing open the door.
I lunge at him before he can lower his raised fist. He catches me, cinching one arm under my butt. I scramble upward and
