“Clearly your memory has been impacted by this disaster. For those in the back, how about you explain why you’re sitting in a very cheerful establishment—not drinking or eating—and looking like week-old highway roadkill.”
“Nothing has flavor,” I mumble.
“I’m about to lose interest,” he warns.
“Please do.” I fold my hands in a pleading gesture.
“Don’t pretend you want to be abandoned. I can see the need for companionship in those reflective eyeballs of yours.”
“That’s probably just gas.” I scrub a palm along my face regardless.
Gavin squeezes my shoulder. “Let it all out, man. That’s what I’m here for.”
I shrug him off. “You’re a leech.”
“How else would I stick by you in these trying hours?”
“I’m not sure why you bother,” I volley.
A flash of Audria’s tear-streaked cheeks assaults my vision. The image pounds against my ribcage while I reel in a breath. I hear her usually calm tone rising with shock and outrage, striking at me after I deliver punishing blows. She practically begged me to give us a chance before insisting on such extremes.
Halfway through our conversation, I realized things could be mended if I weren’t stubborn enough to finish the job. Providing quality worthy of a lifetime guarantee is my style of craftsmanship. There’s not a chance in my lowly existence that she’ll ever trust me again. I just want her to be happy, even if I’m not in the picture. The last thing I ever wanted was to hurt her. Her parting words will haunt me, but they provide a barrier I refuse to climb. Maybe she’ll be able to forgive me before leaving town.
“I chased her off,” I admit, a sterile note in my tone.
He leans on an elbow, settling in for the story. “On purpose?”
I shovel the pieces of my ruined coaster into a pile. “Kind of.”
“Why’d you do a stupid thing like that?”
A bulb flickers above me as I glare at the beamed ceiling. “The more Audria talked about being home for the holidays, the more I realized this isn’t her future. She doesn’t see Bam as a place to settle down. I’d be a selfish asshole to corral her here. She’d resent me eventually.”
Gavin shakes his head with a snort. “How noble. Where’s your steed, white knight?”
“She’ll thank me.” Or curse me. Either way, she’s better off.
He flicks my ear. “For stealing her choice? I highly doubt it.”
I recoil and rub my tender lobe. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“You made the decision for her. What if she wants to stay?” He moves forward as if to inflict further harm.
“She still can. It’s not like I kicked her out of town.” With a shove, I push myself out of sparring distance. I refuse to be a punching bag for him.
“Such a pansy.” Gavin laughs, lunging for me. One downside to the missing crowd is not having them as shields for his immature antics. “No, she’s still here until June, but you ruined the only deciding factor important enough for her to relocate indefinitely.”
“That’s not true,” I mutter.
“Lord grant me patience,” he chants. “Why are you so terrible at this?”
“Most likely because I’ve never been in a serious relationship?” I phrase it as a question since my confidence on the matter has been flipped upside down as of late. Even as the dust settles, I struggle to find clarity.
“I’ll make this very easy to comprehend.” He pauses for dramatic effect. “I bet she would’ve stayed for you.”
A seed of warmth flickers inside of me. I can’t allow that spark of hope to gain momentum. “Guess I’ll never find out.”
“And that makes you very stupid.”
“I’ve been called worse lately. Mostly by myself,” I mock.
“You’re a sad sack, brother.” He finishes his beer and orders another. Mine has probably grown mold by now. “Need some encouragement?”
“Go for it.” I give him a roll of my wrist.
“I saw Audria yesterday.” He drops that bomb with the type of nonchalance that deserves a solid punch to the kidneys.
My stool squeaks when I spin to confront him. “And you waited until now to share this?”
He picks imaginary lint from his plaid thermal, keeping me on the hook of anticipation. His attempt at suspense mixed with the red-and-black pattern reminds me of Audria. But to be fair, just about anything does. “I didn’t say anything exciting happened.”
“It doesn’t matter. Where was this?” I’ve been trying to accidently bump into her for nearly a week.
“Why does it matter? She’s been released of her burden with you.”
“Don’t be an asshole.”
“Then quit with the denial.”
“Just because we quit dating doesn’t mean I don’t care about her.”
His grin is far too wide. “Sounds like you’ve got it all sorted. What’s next on the docket?”
An urge prods at me, and I check my phone on reflex. The screen is blank. Dammit, that’s a relentless kick to the nuts. “Lick my wounds and figure shit out.”
“Which includes what exactly?”
A sticky lump of bile thumps in my gut while I consider my words. “I want to at least smooth things over so we can be civil while she’s still in town.”
Gavin makes the sound of an annoying buzzer. “Wrong answer.”
I flip him off. “Thanks for the advice. Tell me how Audria looked. Give me that, at least.”
“Like a knockout, of course. Not a hair out of place.”
That deflates my posture real quick. Of course she’s moving on without pause. “Good, I’m glad.”
“Jesus, you’re worse than I thought. That was a test. She’s in rough shape but better than this toxic display.” He waves a hand in front of his nose.
With a flinch, the hole in my torso splits and expands. Suffering without her is my penance. The city will bring Audria relief. That’s what I’m banking on to get over this pain. “I’m sure she’ll bounce back soon enough.”
“That’s debatable.”
The twinge in his timbre piques my interest. “Did you talk to her?”
“Yep.” That’s all I get.
It’s
