Honestly, it could have been any number of things, from innocuous to serious, and I wasn't going to know until she finally spat it out. But my brain was having a cheery time imputing scenarios, each worse than the last.
Finally, she opened her mouth and spoke. "So, I was at Simon's last night. And we were watching movies. And... after that, he kissed me."
Of all the things I'd been assuming would come out of her mouth, that was quite possibly the last thing I'd expected her to say. I'd had to twist her arm and work it into a contract to get her to be intimate with me, but she'd kissed her 'friend' with no problems?
I supposed it was on a different level. A kiss was nothing compared to the things I wanted to do to her, but it was the principle of the thing, and my mind was racing, showing me images of them doing a whole lot more than just kissing, even though I had no idea what this Simon guy looked like.
I could see her spread out on his couch, begging him for more, using that sweet, soft, wrecked voice she used with me once she finally got through her distaste of whatever we were doing and let herself enjoy it.
And that made my blood boil.
She didn't belong to me, not really, but it was hard to rationalize that with how I felt. Maybe it was a dominance thing, and the fact that I so often had her in a collar and in positions that required her to trust me. Maybe I was just jealous.
Either way, thinking about it had me on edge, and I gritted my teeth and let out a messy breath through my nose, trying not to lash out while she was sitting there being honest with me.
Because she didn't even have to tell me anything, all things considered.
The contract was very firm about what was allowed, and she could kiss or fuck whoever she wanted as long as she was coming to me the required number of times, and she definitely was.
And it didn't seem like she was trying to rub it in my face, either. I knew Ash well enough to tell that her nerves were genuine, and she was sitting there, being honest with me because she felt like it was the right thing to do.
Somehow that just made it even worse.
If she was flippant about it, telling me that she had every right to hook up with some other guy while I did whatever I wanted to do, then the anger I felt would be slightly more justified. Maybe. Probably not, but I'd at least feel better about it.
But she was contrite, and worried, and it was my job to reassure her, even though I didn't want to. I wanted to tell her that she was never to do that again, and that I was the only person she should be kissing, but that was out of line, and I knew it.
"Was it just a kiss?" I asked. It wasn't what I wanted to say, but apparently my filter was gone for the moment.
Ash looked up, surprised. "Yeah," she said. "I would have said if there was more."
And I knew she would have. I let out another breath and then one more for good measure.
"Okay," I said.
She sat there like she was waiting for me to say something else, but I didn't have anything else to say. There was nothing more I could say without being an enormous hypocrite, and I tried to keep that to a minimum whenever possible.
"Okay," she echoed, finally exhaling. "So, I just wanted you to know."
"And now I do."
We sat in silence for a second before something else occurred to me. "Are you going to be kissing him again?"
Her cheeks flushed, and she looked away. "I don't know," she said. "I haven't decided."
"It seems to me like if you were really interested in him, you'd know how you felt about whether you wanted to kiss him again or not."
Her eyes snapped back to my face, and now that fire was back. She was irritated, and I preferred that to her being nervous. I was spoiling for a fight, and I knew if she was worked up enough, she would give me one.
"How is it any of your business if I do or not?" she asked.
"You're my wife," I pointed out.
She laughed, and it was bitter and lacking anything even close to humor. "You and I both know that doesn't mean anything, Killian, so don't sit there and try to act like it entitles you to be in my business somehow."
"Excuse you, but you know all of the people I've played with aside from you."
"And I told you the one person I've kissed other than you. So, we're even."
Irritatingly, she was right. She didn't owe me anything, but I wanted to make this her fault somehow. I wanted to blame the mood I was in on her, if only so I didn't have to shoulder the weight of it alone.
I'd missed her, wanted her here with me, and this was not at all what I'd envisioned happening when she finally came over. I was angry about that, too. I wanted her all to myself, and that bastard Simon wasn't even here, and he was still ruining what could have been a perfect afternoon of sex and thinking about nothing.
"Are you going to tell him?" I asked her. "About us? Because Eve knows I have another partner. And so do the women at the club that I've played with since we started this."
Ash made a sour face, and I knew I’d scored a point.
"You're an asshole," she said. "That's different."
"How is it different? I'm telling them the truth."
"You're telling them half the truth. Most of them don't know we're married, and if they do, they don't know why. And it doesn't matter to them if you have another partner
