And if I get too uncomfortable, I know how to sneak out of his window. I cover my grin with my hand.
Sarah Sinclair does not excite easily, but she squeals with this news. “I knew the two of you would be perfect together. Yes, of course, it’s okay with me. You take after me with your way of luring a man in.” She mimics pulling something closer. I cringe, the notion that I take after her in anything disturbing, but I nod. As long as I don’t turn into her when I’m older. I stayed as far as I could from her pornos online, but I accidentally saw a clip of her when I was obsessively searching Luke’s films.
Scarred for life.
She smiles at me and I give my head a little shake, trying to mentally erase that view of her mouth parted as she was impaled. I guess I should be glad it wasn’t Luke doing the impaling, but yeah, there’s no positive way to spin it. Some scars can never be erased.
I nervously smile back. It’s strange to have a conversation go well with my mom since Luke…I mean Before. It feels upside down to make her happy.
“I tell you what. You do look pale. How about you lay low tonight, stay home tomorrow and rest, and then by Friday, you should be as good as new. I’ll take care of all of it with the school, don’t worry.”
My mouth drops open a little, shocked at how she’s bustling around like a new woman. Who knew agreeing to a fake date with Ashton would make my mother pleasant?
I pull out my journal. As I start to write about Raf, my pen pauses and I leave a sentence hanging. The last time I wrote about him was the day we met. Every time I try to fill in what’s happened since, I can’t. It’s too humiliating. Too confusing.
Some things are better left unwritten.
And not wanting to tempt fate after having a decent day with him, I close my journal with a snap. I watch movies in bed, while my mom orders takeout soup. It’s the best night I’ve had in a long time and so is the next day when I skip school and catch up on all the sleep I’ve been missing lately.
Chapter Six
I get to school early on Friday and go to the library to return a book. When I reach my locker, Raf is waiting for me.
His eyes are that startling light blue today. Unsettling and beautiful; it’s hard not to get hypnotized in them…especially when he looks as mouth-watering as he does this morning.
“You feeling better?” he asks, checking me out.
I open my locker and avoid looking at him any longer. I need to keep him at a distance. One day of sweet behavior doesn’t undo the way he’s treated me. “I’m fine. It’s almost like you were worried about me or something. I was just having an off day.”
“Do you get migraines a lot?”
I shrug. “Not too bad. Just depends on the stress—” I stop there. Raf isn’t my friend. I don’t need to start opening up to him.
“Listen,” he runs his fingers through his hair and I’m not used to seeing him so nervous, “as much as I dislike everything about you, I don’t like to see anyone in pain…that I’m not inflicting.” He smirks, stepping closer to me. He puts his hand around my neck giving it a slight squeeze. “Can’t afford to have you sick before the party tonight. Your mouth and my cock—”
“I won’t be at the party.”
If he could see inside my brain, he’d think I’m playing games with him, but it’s just that he changes my mind about how I feel about him every other second. I was this close to caving, until he had to open his jerk mouth.
His face is thunderous as he leans closer to my face. “You’ll be there or we’ll have a big problem.”
“Guess we’re going to have a big problem then.” I duck under his arm and skirt past him, grinning. It’s nice to get the last word with him for once.
The day drags on forever. Ashton is waiting for me at my locker before the last class, smiling shyly.
“What’s up?” I grab my things out of my locker and slam it shut. “You have a determined but nervous look on your face.”
He presses his lips together, trying not to laugh. “Okay, that’s some spot-on face reading.” He sighs and I wait for him to spit it out.
“Come to the game and the party tonight.”
“I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
“I’ll make sure nothing goes wrong. I swear. And you need to get to know everyone. It’ll be fun, I promise.”
“I don’t know how you can promise that.” I back up and lift my hand when he starts to say more. “Have a great game tonight.”
“Just think about it,” he calls out as I take off for class.
“What are you wearing on your date tonight?”
And this is why I should never lie to my mother. I look at her for a moment and say the quickest thing that comes to mind.
“Just jeans and a cute top. I’ll be leaving soon.”
I don’t know where I’m going, but I will not be going to the game or the party. I’d hoped to drown my sadness in a long bath but forgot I’d lied to my mom about a date with Ashton. Dammit.
I go through the motions of touching up my makeup and kiss her on the cheek when I leave. She looks so excited for me, I feel like an even worse daughter than before.
I stop by a gardening store and lust after the plants for a long time before ending up at a cute bookstore. I devour several chapters of the new Sarah J. Maas book and sip a hot chocolate until they announce that they’re closing.
When
