He’d been surprised when Penny had made the first move and even more surprised by his own response. She’d asked him out for a curry – nothing complicated, nothing heavy with suggestion – and he’d accepted, instantly. Three weeks later and they’d shared a kiss. Then everything had changed between them and now Cam had no idea where the relationship might go, or how to end it. Did he even want to end it? He’d thought Penny might sleep with him after she’d invited him over while the kids were away but things hadn’t got that far – there was too much between them that was left unspoken.
And then Tom had seen his car parked outside Penny’s house and all the work they’d done on their relationship since Chrissie had died counted for nothing.
‘Tom, you’ve got to talk to me some time.’
The silence from his son’s bedroom door said much more than words could have.
‘Come on, Tom. It’s not what you think.’ Cam cringed at the cliché. What was he thinking? ‘Tom. Let’s talk about this. Please.’
Nothing.
Cam considered walking downstairs and leaving his son to come round in his own time but he knew from past experience that this might allow their relationship to fester and then all that would be left were scabs and scars for them to worry at for years.
‘Tom!’ Cam snapped, throwing open his son’s bedroom door. ‘We need to sort this out.’
His son was lying on his bed with his headphones on. Now the wooden barrier of the door had been removed, Cam could clearly hear the hiss and thud of the loud music that Tom had chosen to lose himself in. That’s why he hadn’t responded.
Tom’s eyes were closed but there was no possibility that he could be sleeping through whatever racket he’d chosen as the soundtrack to his misery.
‘Hey!’ Cam inched closer and tapped his son’s leg causing Tom to flinch violently.
‘Fuck! Why didn’t you knock?’ He was scrambling to sit up and remove the headphones at the same time and he managed to get himself tangled in the cable.
‘Here,’ Cam said gently and leaned in to help his son extricate himself.
‘Don’t touch me. I’ll do it,’ Tom said, reminding Cam of his son’s independence as a child. From the age of three or four Tom had hardly ever allowed Cam or Chrissie to help him with any physical feat and it seemed to have become a matter of pride with him to do everything on his own. He’d been such a self-contained, serious child.
‘Tom. I know you’re angry, but can we talk about it?’
Tom shook his head, his mother’s dark hair flopping across one eye. ‘What is there to talk about? It’s not like I tell you anything about my personal life and I really don’t need a man-to-man chat.’
Cam leaned against the door frame and crossed his arms. He’d expected rejection but hadn’t really prepared himself for his son’s coldness towards him. He thought there might be some yelling and he’d have to do some explaining but he felt like Tom had cut him off.
‘At least let me explain,’ he tried.
‘Explain? You’re shagging Penny Bainbridge. What is there to explain? I know the facts of life – I’m studying biology.’
‘It’s not like that.’
‘What? So, you’re in love with her and you’re going to marry her? That was quick. It’s not even three years since Mum died.’
Cam saw tears welling in Tom’s eyes as he mentioned his mother, but he removed them with two quick swipes of his knuckles.
‘Tom, I’m not trying to replace your mum. This thing with Penny, it’s new. I don’t know if it’ll go anywhere.’
Tom sighed and flopped back on to his bed. ‘I’ve just started seeing Annie. You’ve really messed that up for me. She might end up being my stepsister. This is fucking sick.’
So that was the real reason for Tom’s extreme reaction. Young love. Cam knew he’d have to tread carefully even though he doubted Tom and Annie’s relationship would last more than a few months. His son didn’t seem to be able to make his girlfriends stick around for long – not that he’d had many since Chrissie had died.
‘Look, I don’t know where things are going with Penny. It’s early days. But if you want me to stop seeing her, well, I will.’
It was a gamble. But, if Tom called his bluff, Cam was prepared to end the relationship – his son was more important. ‘I can’t be responsible for that,’ Tom said, sitting up. ‘You can’t put that on me. Who you sleep with is up to you but don’t expect me to be happy about it.’
‘So, what do you want?’ Cam asked. ‘What can I do to make this better for you?’
Tom lowered his head and started to pick at a thread on the duvet cover. ‘I don’t know. This just feels all wrong. I might get used to it, but I don’t really want to have to. And I don’t know where this leaves me and Annie.’
Cam edged inside the door and perched on Tom’s gaming chair that was hooked up to his games console and TV.
‘I know this is strange. I think you should keep seeing Annie. She’s a nice girl and I think she might be good for you.’
Tom nodded. ‘What about Penny? Is she good for you?’
It was, Cam thought, an excellent question. A few days ago, he would have probably said that Penny was good for him. They had fun and they understood each other. She’d been candid about her relationship with her ex-husband and he’d told her about his marriage to Chrissie and about his struggles with grief.
After the previous night, though, everything had changed. Penny had really opened up about the mess that her ex had left her in after the separation and how the terms of the divorce had almost crippled her financially. He’d seen a side to his colleague that he’d not even suspected, and her
