“Oh, shit,” I mutter before the tears come.
The pressure starts in my chest and rises to my head, and I want to lash out again, but I hold back. There's something wrong with me, and that's why everything's falling apart. Would Dad have stayed if my powers hadn't exploded? After all, I insisted on going to that battle and then I killed. I killed multiple people. I did far more damage than he could have ever done, and I terrified everyone around me.
There's no one to lash out against here, and that's a good thing.
So I stand against the door and let silent, weak tears flow down my face. I don't dare to wipe them away with the gray dress. Riley and I are leaders, probably the worst leaders a coven has ever seen, and we might not even be together anymore. We’re just putting forth a Victorian era social mirage. I'm on my own.
“Calm down,” I urge myself. The power in my head grows painful. Spots dance and lash in my vision as I open my eyes to the darkened room. I can only make out the fancy bedside lamp, and almost nothing else.
And I almost miss the footsteps coming up the stairs, quiet and understanding.
Is that Riley?
My heart leaps, but my stomach quakes with nerves. I don't know how he feels about me anymore, and that scares me.
“Olivia?” He asks in a low voice, one that's as smooth as silk and as seductive as honey. “I'm sorry if you're upset. You walked upstairs like something was bothering you.”
How do you actually feel about me now? I want to ask, but I take a breath instead, not wanting to shatter this image of me and Riley. Then I breathe out, forcing the pressure in my chest and my mind to calm itself. I can't be lashing out right now or I'll give Riley every reason to turn his back on me. Maybe there's a chance that we can stay together and get through all of this. Breaking apart right now would mean death not just for us, but for the entire coven, and maybe even the High Council getting upset enough to reinstate Dominic and the Beaumonts back in Moon's Peak. Not likely, but my distressed thoughts are putting up all kinds of nightmare scenarios.
“Olivia?” He's right outside the door and must be able to smell my tears. Riley has grown almost as observant as Dominic since taking his blood.
“I'm fine,” I croak.
Riley places his hand on the door and lets it slowly run down the polished wood, and I can clearly hear the sound on the other side. “No, you're not. This is a lot, and I'm sorry that I had to make you look like a servant. But I think that with careful planning, we can get through this. Lily might help us, too. Her parents aren't as tight on her as they were last month. Can I come in?”
I want to let him in and pretend that the close distance between us isn't happening, that the gap was just an illusion. My mind powers calm themselves at the thought, and I take the damn break. I open the door for Riley, and he slowly comes in and closes the door behind him.
I'll let him think that my tears are for the situation and the threat of death. Nothing more.
Embrace me. Kiss me. Do something, I silently beg, forcing my betrayer to stay subdued. It's difficult, and I shake, wanting nothing more than to make Riley lean down and kiss me for real this time. But whatever happens has to be real, or I won't sleep well beside him.
“You're shaking,” Riley says, studying me up and down as if trying to figure out why. Rare confusion steals over his face and his copper-flecked eyes widen.
I force a laugh. “Yes. I am. Riley,” I say. I've got to be truthful with him. “I'm working on keeping these powers subdued around you, and I think I'm getting the hang of it. I never want to control anyone I care about, and it's hard, but I'm trying.”
And then Riley smiles. Did his shoulders just drop with relief?
Yes. They did.
He was nervous around me.
“You are, Olivia. But what you need to focus on is making them explode when you’re facing enemies,” he says. Riley takes two steps closer, and his proximity sends my heart racing. He moves in such a graceful, seductive manner, and I imagine him slipping easily out of that suit. At the thought, my body tingles and the back of my head throbs with the urge to make him do just that, and—ugh! No. I swallow, forcing the sensation down where it belongs.
“Yes. You're dangerous, and that might be just what we need right now. I know this is hazardous, trying to strengthen your powers, but we can rehearse the Convening. I can read about it in the secret library and see just what the procedures are. It'll be in one of those books, somewhere. And it probably wouldn't have changed over the years.”
I focus on books and not on Riley's body, or on the way his shoulders seem broader than his hips. “So we need to do some more reading.”
Riley passes me and sits on the bed, and I wait for him to invite me to sit beside him. We stare at each other and he blinks as if remembering, and then on his own, he pats the bed beside him. “Are you sure you're as okay as you could be?”
“Yes,” I lie. He knows I'm testing him.
And then I sit, dangerously close, just a few inches from Riley.
Now is the time to work on control. I can bottle up these feelings and use them later.
“As I was saying,
