My cheeks reddened; even my ears felt hot. He did it too?
Wesley stared at me and a smirk curled the corners of his mouth. “Hey, did you do it too? While thinking about me?”
“Wesley!” I scolded, my cheeks on fire. I couldn’t look at him, and I was sure he figured out the truth.
“C’mon, I’m being honest. Just tell me. I won’t be mad if you didn’t think about me.”
He was really asking, and I could see that his pride was on the line. Mortified, I confessed without words, nodding.
“I knew it!” he shouted delightfully, his pride in check. He inched closer to me, resting his hand on my knee. “But, seriously, I was always watching you. When I finally admitted that I had a crush on you, I couldn’t keep my eyes off you, but you were too dense to notice,” he said with a laugh, looking at me from the corner of his eye. “God, I was so nervous. The first time I talked to you, when you came over to my house….”
“What? You didn’t act like that at all!” I shouted and then I looked down bashfully. “Especially because of what you said.”
“What? What did I say?”
“You… you said that I looked at you… like I wanted you to… you know,” I stuttered. My heart was beating through my chest. Just remembering some of our first conversations excited me.
“I… what? Did I really?” he asked. Then he slapped his knee and looked up gleefully. “Oh yeah! I said that you looked at me like you wanted me to fuck you! I can’t believe I actually said that! I can’t believe you didn’t punch me in the face!” Wesley laughed heartily, enjoying my embarrassment, and I punched him in the arm, even if it was a little late.
Chapter 15
IT WAS finally the last day of school. The last day I would have to spend in the joyless halls of high school. It was a milestone, but it was a damn long day. My stomach tightened with anxiety, and I went over my note cards for history again, but it didn’t help. I hated public speaking.
“Hey, whatcha doin’?” Wesley asked, sidling up beside me and dropping his book bag.
“What?” I asked absentmindedly, looking up at him. He took the note cards from my hands and fanned through them.
“Man, I just had my English final and it totally sucked. I don’t know why I even bothered studying,” he said, thudding back against the lockers.
I furrowed my brows at him. He didn’t actually study for English very much; he was more interested in getting my pants off. I looked down from the corners of my eyes and blushed. Wesley handed back the note cards.
“You ready for the presentation?” he asked.
“Yeah, I guess so. I just really hate public speaking.”
“I know. You’re so cute. You turn all red and stutter,” Wesley said with a grin.
“I… yeah, I know. I can’t help it,” I conceded.
“Well, don’t worry about it. I’ll be right next to you. And when we’re done, we’ll just start making out, okay? Our presentation will also be our coming out.”
“Wesley!” I snapped, glancing up and down the hall.
“You know, I heard on the news that sex before public speaking is supposed to be relaxing. So you want a quickie in the boys’ room before we’re up?”
“Wesley!” I scolded again. “You’re not helping!”
Wesley laughed and picked up his book bag just before the bell rang. He smiled warmly and patted my shoulder. “C’mon, you know this stuff inside out. You’ll be fine.”
“WHERE ARE we going?” I asked. Wesley seemed to be driving aimlessly.
“I thought we’d go to our secret hiding place,” Wesley said, glancing at me and then taking a hit of his cigarette. “I figured it’d be a good place to go to celebrate our first moments of freedom from the oppressive education machine.”
“Oppressive education machine?” I laughingly repeated. “Hmm, I’ll have to remember that one.”
The windows were rolled all the way down and the fresh air felt good. I’d finally closed the high school chapter of my life, and I vowed never to set foot in that school again. High school sucked and I was glad to leave it behind. It was warm and sunny without a cloud in the sky, and I took that as a confirmation: an end to the oppressive education machine.
Wesley pulled onto the shoulder of the road and we walked to the small alcove of trees hiding the algae-green pond, leaving our book bags in the car. We sat down on the fallen log and Wesley kissed me. I tasted the tobacco on his breath and realized how used to it I had gotten. He lit another cigarette and leaned back on his hands, looking up at the sky. We talked about the summer and all the things we were going to do together. I wanted to take a trip to the beach, but it would have to be an overnight excursion since there were no beaches nearby.
Wesley interrupted my daydream when he pulled a joint out of his pack of cigarettes. He slid it underneath his nose then put it in his mouth. He leaned back as he searched for his lighter in his pocket.
“Smoke this with me,” he said.
“I don’t know….”
“Oh, c’mon. You already did it once, so what’s the big deal? Besides, you’ll probably get high this time, so it won’t be a waste,” he urged, burning the tip then inhaling deeply. He held it out to me, and I took it hesitantly. “You remember how, don’t you?”
I nodded and brought the joint to my lips, breathing in cautiously and then breathing in again. The smoke filled my lungs and I exhaled fully, watching the stream of smoke from my mouth. I smiled shyly and Wesley congratulated me, patting
