“So, what are you working on?” he asked.
“Oh, um, just reading for Psych.”
“Oh yeah? That’s my major. It’s Intro, right? Who do you have?”
“McFarlain.”
“She’s good. She’s really good. But don’t ever take Davis. That guy’s a total prick. But I guess it doesn’t matter for you. You’re a History major, right?”
I looked up and nodded. I was surprised that he remembered. Classes started just three weeks ago, and I had already failed my first math test. I really needed Wesley’s help.
“So what do you wanna do with it?”
“I think I’d like to teach.” I wasn’t sure why, but I felt bashful all of a sudden.
“Cool. I think you’d be really good at that,” he said, smiling again.
We sat and talked in the biology lab until class was about to start. I packed up my book and highlighter and took out my bio notebook and folder.
The professor started class and handed out the observation sheets along with a box of cotton swabs so we could compare plant and animal cells under the microscope.
Slides of plant material were already prepared, and Josh and I took turns examining the cell structure and pattern. We wrote down our observations, and then swabbed the inside of our mouths with the swabs. We looked at Josh’s first, at the irregular cell shape and the lack of structure or pattern. The professor discussed the differences between the two and the benefits of each. I prepared my slide, smearing the swab on the glass, and then clipping it under the microscope. I looked closer and saw tiny little things moving around. Josh looked at the slide and saw them too.
“What are those things?” I asked, looking through the microscope again.
Josh shrugged. “I don’t know.”
“Should we ask the professor?” I said, looking around the classroom. Professor Kitner was across the room.
“Sure,” he said, raising his hand. The professor nodded and walked over. “What are these things?” Josh asked as Professor Kitner leaned over the microscope.
Professor Kitner’s body twitched and he stood up suddenly, looking at Josh. “Whose slide is this?” he asked.
“It’s mine,” I answered, concerned by his unusual reaction. Professor Kitner looked at me and stepped closer. “What is it?” I asked, starting to feel a little worried.
The professor leaned close and whispered, “It’s sperm.”
My body froze. My heart stopped beating. My face turned white. I was sure I was going to die of embarrassment.
“It’s nothing to worry about,” Professor Kitner said with a friendly smile. “When was the last time you ate? It’s just enzymes breaking down residual foodstuff. That’s all,” he said, patting my shoulder and walking away to another lab table.
I took a deep breath and Josh was watching me. My whole face turned bright red, and I didn’t know what to do. Josh didn’t hear what the professor said, did he?
There were fifteen minutes of class left and it was the longest fifteen minutes of my life. Professor Kitner reviewed our observations and reminded us of an exam coming up next Thursday. He dismissed the class and I gathered my things together as quickly as I could. I had to keep myself from running out of the room.
“Oh, Toren, just a minute,” Professor Kitner said.
My heart sunk down into my toes. I walked up to his desk, staring at the floor, where he was leafing through the observation sheets we turned in. He didn’t say anything until the classroom was empty.
“Sorry, Toren. I just wanted to talk to you real quick,” Professor Kitner said, standing up and coming around the side of the table. He folded his arms and leaned back. I gripped my hands into fists at my sides and I felt tears welling that I desperately tried to keep hidden. “I wanted to tell you not to worry. These things happen and it’s not like I’m going to hold it against you or anything. So, don’t worry about it, okay? It’s not a big deal.”
His words were kind, but they did nothing to settle my embarrassment. I dug my fists into my thighs and nodded weakly. I still stared at the ground because I knew I would start crying if I looked up.
“Also, I wanted to let you know that there’s an LGBT club on campus. They meet Thursdays at seven o’clock in room 212 of the U-Mall. So, if you’re interested, I’d really like you to come to one of the meetings, just to see what it’s all about. I’m the faculty advisor for the club, and I really think you might like it,” he said, uncrossing his arms and standing up straight.
I nodded again while still looking at the floor. It was the “gay club” Mom had suggested I join after going to orientation. Professor Kitner stepped closer to me and smiled warmly.
“I know this must’ve been embarrassing,” he said, patting my shoulder lightly. “But if it makes you feel any better, I’m gay. So, honestly, don’t worry about what happened today. Okay?” I glanced up at Professor Kitner’s smiling, confident face and truly, I did feel a little bit better. Since he was like me, maybe he understood it better. “Well, that’s all I wanted to say. I’ll see you in class, then,” he said and smiled again.
I nodded, whispered, “thank you,” and left as fast as I could. I did feel a little better, but it didn’t ease the mortifying embarrassment of what had happened. I just wanted to get home so I could mope without interruption.
“Hey, welcome home. How was school?” Wesley said as I walked in the front door.
I was glad to see him, but I couldn’t shake the feeling that this was all his fault. It was his sperm after all. I just wanted a little time to cry by myself. I dropped my book bag like it was full of lead and tears streamed down my face.
“Whoa, what’s wrong? Are you okay?” Wesley asked, coming to me and
