“I… I just had the worst day of my life,” I sobbed, clinging to him and burying my face in his chest.
“What happened? Are you okay?” He led me to the sofa and sat down next to me. “Take a deep breath,” he said, putting his hand on my knee. “What happened?”
I took deep breaths and my bottom lip quivered. I rubbed my eyes and stared at my lap. “I… I was in my bio lab class and we had to look at plant and animal cells under the microscope. We had to take a swab from inside our mouths and there were these… little things moving around.”
Wesley watched me and rubbed my back. The look on his face was curious, but it seemed that, maybe, he knew what I was going to say. His hand slid down my back as he asked what those little things were. I narrowed my eyes as a faint grin spread across his lips.
“It was sperm, stupid! Your sperm! ’Cause you made me do that right before class!” I shouted, crossing my arms and pouting. Instead of taking responsibility and sharing my embarrassment, he was laughing! “It’s not funny!” I yelled, pushing Wesley away.
“Oh. Oh God, yes, it is!” Wesley panted, trying to calm his laughter. “I’m sorry, but it really is!”
“No, it’s not, stupid! Stop laughing! It’s not funny!” I shouted, crossing my arms on my chest again.
“I’m sorry, really,” he said, wrapping both arms around me. “Are you okay? If you want, I’ll take full responsibility. I’ll even go to your next class and explain that it was mine, okay?” He said it with such a serious face that I didn’t realize he was making fun of me. Tears rolled down my cheeks again and Wesley wiped them away. “I’m sorry. I won’t tease you anymore. I’m sorry. So what happened then?”
I wiped my nose with the back of my hand and took another deep breath. “Well, Professor Kitner whispered it to me, so I don’t think anyone else heard. And then he said something about enzymes or something, so that Josh wouldn’t figure it out.”
“Who’s Josh?”
“My lab partner. But, then, after class, Professor Kitner wanted to talk to me. He told me not to worry about it, but I can’t help it. He told me… but maybe he was just trying to help. He told me that he’s gay, too, and he’s also the advisor for the LGBT club on campus. He wanted me to go to one of the meetings,” I rambled.
“Well, it could’ve been a hell of a lot worse. I think he was right, though, so don’t worry about it,” Wesley said. “If he told you that he was gay and about the club, I think he just wanted to make you comfortable. So, yeah, don’t worry about it.”
Wesley ruffled my hair and I leaned into him. Maybe he was right; it was really embarrassing, but Professor Kitner did cover for me and keep it secret.
“Oh yeah. Earlier, when you said it was sperm, you emphasized that it was mine. So who else’s would it be?” he asked, narrowing his eyes playfully.
“Dummy,” I muttered. “And just so you know, I’m never doing that to you again,” I said, pinching his arm and finally smiling a little.
“Aw, no! Say you don’t mean it! I’m sorry, Tor! Honest! Please, don’t say that!”
Chapter 29
I SURVIVED somehow. The humiliation and embarrassment of that day slowly became a memory. I was nervous about going to bio class, but my apprehension was laid to rest. Professor Kitner didn’t say anything about what happened, and he didn’t act strangely or treat me differently. He reminded me of the LGBT club meetings each Thursday and I decided I would go to the next one. I thought that if I attended, I might gain more confidence in myself. I was comfortable with my sexuality—that wasn’t the problem—but I worried too much about what other people thought.
“Toren? You okay?”
“What?” I looked up and Josh was closing his notebook. I was thinking so hard I hadn’t even realized that class had ended. “Oh, sorry. I must’ve spaced out for a sec,” I said, clearing my mind and closing my notebook.
Professor Kitner was collecting the observation sheets and reminded us of the test on Thursday. I quickly scribbled some notes onto my observation sheet that Josh let me copy before Professor Kitner got to our lab table.
“You wanna study for the test together?” Josh asked, shouldering his book bag and leaning against the solid black tabletop.
“Yeah, that’d be great,” I said, jamming my notebook in my book bag. “Oh, but I’ve got a night class tomorrow.”
“Oh. Damn. Well, you wanna do it tonight? If you’re not busy?”
“Yeah, I can do that. Let’s go to the library, then.” I liked studying with someone else; I always seemed to do better when I had someone to study with.
“Okay, but… I’m kinda hungry,” Josh said, placing his hand on his stomach.
“Oh, then let’s go to the U-Mall. The food court’s open till nine, right?”
“Uh… yeah. Okay, let’s do that.”
I called Wesley and left a message that I was going to be late when Josh went to the bathroom. I told him to heat up the beef stew in the fridge, but I somehow doubted he would do that. He was probably dining on beer, potato chips, and ice cream.
“So, how do you like college so far?” Josh asked, taking a bite of the sandwich he bought. He offered to buy something for me, but I declined. I would probably have the rest of the stew when I got home. “Better than high school?”
“Yeah, tons better. I was so happy when I graduated from high school. I vowed never to step foot in that place again,” I said, flipping through my notebook.
“Yeah, I hear you. I didn’t like high school either. Actually, I hated high
