Wesley was late to Spanish again. Ms. Harper was already passing out the tests and she scolded him for being late on exam day.
I couldn’t bear to look at Wesley. Just seeing his face reminded me of my dream and the sticky sheets this morning. I didn’t know what to do or what to say to him. I left Spanish class quickly and took my book bag with me to history so I wouldn’t have to talk to him after class if he followed me to my locker.
The sunny morning had faded into a gray and murky afternoon. The pouring rain complemented my mood and, of course, I forgot my umbrella at home. I waited under the overhang at the front of the school, watching kids dash for the buses or to their cars in the parking lot.
“Boy, it’s really coming down hard, isn’t it?” Wesley stood behind me with his book bag over his shoulder. He had one hand in his pocket and a slight smile on his face. “You don’t plan on walking home in this, do you?”
“I’m just waiting for it to let up.”
“Who knows when that’ll be? I’ll give you a ride,” he said and smiled, tilting his head toward the parking lot. I shook my head but Wesley persisted. “C’mon, what’s the big deal?” He grabbed my wrist and pulled me into the rain. I tried to pull my hand away, but he held tight until I followed him willingly.
I whispered, “Thanks,” but I don’t think he heard me.
He sped through the driving rain, taking corners without braking, even though I told him where to turn long before it came up. The windshield wipers slapped frantically, and the sky seemed even darker.
“Thanks for the ride,” I said over the plunking rain and the moan of the idling engine.
“What, you’re not even gonna invite me in after I saved your butt from getting soaked?” he asked with a smile.
“Oh, um, I guess… if you want to,” I stuttered, gripping the straps of my backpack.
“Cool. Where should I park?”
We ran to my building and tried to dry off a bit on the stairs to the third floor. He waited patiently while I fumbled getting the key in the lock. I opened the door and Wesley stepped in, his hands in his pockets. I dropped my book bag by the door and noticed that Wesley didn’t bring his.
“So this is where you live. It’s… cozy,” he said.
“I know that’s just a polite way of saying small,” I answered with a shy laugh. “But it’s just me, my mom, and my sister, so it serves the purpose.”
“Just you, your mom, and your sister?” he echoed, looking around the living room and into the small kitchen that opens onto it. “Where are they?”
“My mom works the midshift at the hospital and my sister has swim practice after school.”
“Oh. So… it’s just us, then?” Wesley smiled and looked at me with his deep brown eyes. My stomach felt hollow.
“Do—do you want something to drink? We’ve got soda, orange juice… I can make some coffee, if you want,” I said, looking toward the kitchen.
I was trapped between him and the door. “Let’s cut through the bullshit, Toren.” He grinned and put his hand flat on the door, over my shoulder.
“What do you mean?” I was trying hard to sound innocent.
Wesley lifted my chin with his hand and grinned again. “You know exactly what I mean,” he said and kissed me.
His kiss was amazing, overflowing my senses, and I closed my eyes. My body tensed and I pulled back, looking down. “Why—why are you doing this?”
“Because I like you. And I think you like me too.” It was just for a second, but I saw his confidence slip. “Don’t you?” His grin came back.
I looked away. I knew I was blushing bright red. Wesley chuckled quietly. I looked up and his expression was sincere. My stomach tightened.
“It’s okay. You don’t have to say it if you don’t want to. But show me. Kiss me back, Toren.”
He took his hand from the door and held my chin up. It took all my courage to look into his eyes. He pulled my mouth open with his thumb and kissed me again, his tongue slipping between my lips. Hesitantly, nervously, and maybe with a twinge of embarrassment, I grasped his shirtsleeves and tilted my head to the side.
“You wanna sit down? You look like you might be a little weak in the knees,” Wesley asked, smiling at me again.
I frowned, but only because it was true: I did feel a little weak in my knees. Wesley followed me to the couch and sat beside me. He put his hand on my leg and I jumped a little. I looked at my lap and bit my lip.
“Doesn’t it—doesn’t it bother you… because we’re both guys?”
He shook his head and smiled. “No. Why should it?”
I looked away again.
He brushed the hair from my eyes and looked at me gently.
“What are you so afraid of, Toren?”
I’m afraid… that my mom will hate me.
“Are you afraid that people will talk? Or that they’ll make fun of you? If that’s the case, then we just won’t tell anyone. We’ll keep it our little secret as long as you want, okay?” He smiled reassuringly at me and ran his fingers down my cheek.
Maybe Mom would never know if we kept it a secret. He sank into me on the couch, the feel of his warm body washing over me like a crushing wave. His kiss seemed different from before; it was sweeter and heavier and it felt inevitable.
He became bolder and slid his hand underneath the hem of my shirt. His fingertips traced my stomach like he was trying to memorize every inch of it by touch. His kiss dropped to my neck and then to the dimple between my collarbones. My
