She swallowed hard. “Now I’m wondering if he was speaking to me from the other side. Like he saw this coming or something.” She shook her head and looked away, trying to dismiss it. “I dunno. Maybe I’m just losing my fucking mind.”
Alexa stared at her and carefully contemplated her response before speaking. “Kitty, look at me.” Kit shifted her attention to Alexa as she continued. “There may be something there. Here’s why I say that.”
Kit inched forward onto the edge of her seat, eager to hear the reasoning. Alexa continued. “You and Joey were in bands together. He knew your musical talent well. He knew you almost as long as I did.”
She reached for Kit’s hand. “And babe, I remember you as a kid. You wanted to be a star. You wanted to perform. You wanted to sing or play piano or play your guitar to a huge audience. You used to jump on my bed and sing into the hairbrush at every sleepover we had at my house. You never did that at your own house. You were careful to step in time to your dad’s agenda. At my house you were free to express yourself. You were that way at Joe’s house and at your grandmother’s too.”
She searched Kit’s emerald green eyes, still seeing the fear in them. She attempted to soothe her spirit. “Kitty, maybe he was talking to you from the other side. Maybe all this shit is happening because it is time for you to step into the spotlight. Because this time you will make it.”
Kit stared at her, feeling a strong sense of anxiety and apprehension, yet a deep residing truth that was throwing her off. She let out a long sigh, unable to shed the past. “What if I totally fuck up? What if I crash and burn? What if fail? I don’t want to go through getting signed and getting dropped from a label again. No, no, no. Too fucking painful. Plus, people know me in this industry already. No go.” She folded her arms in front of her chest and stared out the window again.
Alexa grinned, her violet eyes sparkling with hope. “But, Kitty, what if this time you succeed? What if this time you go all way to the top? Did you ever think about that?”
Kit swallowed hard and continued to keep her gaze fixed on the bed of fluffy clouds outside the window. Alexa’s last round of thought provoking questions rung out in her head.
While she knew her best friend was doing her best to get Kit back on the right track with positivity, she quickly found that her own answers to the last round of questions leading to her success only made her more feel more anxious.
Failing was safer as an artist, it was what she knew before. Succeeding, being the star, being larger than life seized her with a fear that she realized had been holding her back all these years. Aware of it now, she made a committed decision to start telling a different, more empowered story.
“I can’t believe I’m about to do this.” Kit remarked as she stared out the window while the limousine pulled up to the curb at the hotel.
Alexa gazed at her empathetically. “You’re doing the right thing. Are you having second thoughts?”
Kit’s head whipped around and she stared at Alexa intently. She felt like Alexa had read her mind. She was having second thoughts. Her stomach was doing somersaults. She was questioning all of it, but she couldn’t find another immediate solution in her mind. Something about the entire situation felt wrong and she couldn’t shake it.
She sighed. “No comment. I can’t believe we let it get this fucked up.”
Alexa shook her head. “Stop beating yourself up.”
The limousine came to a stop. Before the chauffeur could get out and open the door, Sean beat him to it, opening the back door and welcoming Kit and Alexa with a big smile. “Hello Lovely Ladies! Welcome back to Philly.”
He reached in and helped each of them out of the car. As he was doing that, another limousine pulled up. Kit motioned to it. “Who’s in that one?”
He shook his head. “No one. That’s for the band. They’re about to head out to the radio station for an interview in fifteen minutes. Driver is early. C’mon, let’s walk and talk.”
As they entered the lobby, Sean gave her a brief overview of how Sully was fairing and what she may be up against. She was ready to dive right in. Alexa was on her cell phone feverishly negotiating with what sounded like a publication fishing for information on Kit’s new project. She knew Sean didn’t know, but she could feel her self-consciousness increasing as she exchanged a look with Alexa who immediately ended the call.
Sean looked at both of them. “Everything ok?”
Kit nodded. “Right as rain, Sean-Bon.” She patted him on the arm as he held the elevator doors open for them.
Alexa glanced over at Kit and reached for her hand to squeeze it as the elevator climbed floors within the bowels of the hotel. She returned the squeeze yet kept her eyes focused on the back of Sean’s head, silent, unable to utter a word.
The elevator doors opened and Sean stepped out. He ushered Kit along and Alexa hung back. She glanced over her shoulder. “Lex?”
Alexa shook her head. “This has got to be all you, babe. This is between you and Sully. I’ll be right outside with Sean. You can do this.” She glanced at her phone. “And Jonathan is calling me back. I have to take this.”
Kit’s eyes widened. There was a storm brewing with Jonathan and Lew having pushed out her single. She was dying to know what was going on. She realized she had to let that go temporarily and allow Alexa
