Chapter 9
Love Shack?
Katie was surprised to see daylight when she opened her eyes. Actually, she was surprised she had fallen asleep at all, with all of the barriers between her and actual rest.
Worry was, of course, unavoidable. Every time she managed to quiet all the different concerns, a new one roared right to the front of her brain and it started all over again. Katie wasn’t normally the worrying type, but she figured if she ever had an excuse to start, it was today.
Unable to lay on her back and unwilling to lay face down without the use of her arms, she had been forced onto her side, her least favorite sleeping position. Her shoulders had rapidly grown sore, and every time she tried to get even slightly more comfortable, the dull, metallic scrape of the links of the handcuff chains served as the most insistent alarm bell, one with no snooze button.
But those issues paled in comparison with what truly turned her thoughts to dark and foreboding concerns. How could Carson, who had jumped into rough, icy water to save her, who loved his fiancée so fully and so deeply he couldn’t let her go, who had treated her like a princess since they’d met, be mixed up in this? Those sad, soulful eyes – how could they hide something so significant? How come she hadn’t seen the warning signs – again? It was like Brendan all over again, but so much worse. Why did I open up to him?
She still needed him, of course, but for a completely different purpose now. Katie was hopeful that Carson spoke the truth when he said he would do everything in his power to help her. She certainly hoped he did, as she had no other card to play, no other way to help herself. Even as her disgust with him tumbled through her mind and filled her with anger, she believed he sincerely felt terrible about being caught up in this situation. Even though she’d challenged his manhood, she understood why he tried to protect himself – or at least she thought she did. But, she wondered, how far did his forced loyalty to her abductors go? Would he really protect her? She had no answers. Exhaustion and stress made it difficult to separate and understand ideas.
She had another need, one that was much more immediate and it required no analysis. “Carson,” she said to the figure slumped forward in the lawn chair, trying not to speak too loudly, “I have to pee.” He did not stir. She tried again, but still got no response. “Carson!”
He jumped up and, in one fluid motion, drew his gun and scanned the room for a threat. When he saw Katie, he stopped and blinked hard, as if trying to remember where he was and what was going on. With everything she’d said to him last night, she half-expected him to point his firearm directly at her and pull the trigger. But he immediately pointed the muzzle at the floor and stared at her for an unfathomably long moment before his shoulders slumped dramatically, bringing the pall of shame back down like a cloak. He placed the gun back in its holster.
“I have to use the bathroom,” she said.
“Yeah, of course.” He helped her up and, holding her arm, assisted her in her short journey. She didn’t pull away like she did the night before. Her anger was muted by time and exhaustion. Plus, until a few hours ago, Carson was a man to be trusted, and that trust had not faded, not entirely. It was in no way forgiveness. There was still a litany of reasons why she couldn’t look at him and might have strangled him had her hands been free, but she took the simple offer of help for what it was.
Once in the dingy bathroom, Carson positioned the portable commode and made sure it was clean before stepping back in front of her. When his hands reached the snap of her jeans he hesitated, making eye contact with her. He said nothing, but he didn’t have to. His concerns came through loud and clear. Katie knew he wasn’t going to do anything inappropriate, but did Carson know she knew? She actually felt a pang of sympathy for him – she’d been betrayed, but he was fighting his own conscience.
“Go ahead, Carson, I know you have to do it.”
He nodded and then, turning his head, he undid the button, hooked his thumbs in her pants and panties at the hips, and pulled them to her knees. He stepped away as she took care of business, returning only when summoned by her to perform the required sanitary actions. Once the task was complete, he led her back to the cot and helped feed her. Ravenous from stress and from not having eaten the night before, she consumed several of the pre-packed meals and guzzled water with his assistance.
She saw the gray and miserable clouds through the dingy window, with large raindrops hitting the glass. The weather reflected how things were going for her and how she felt. How is my personal storm going to end? The clouds offered no answers. It dawned on her she was just as clueless. Not only did she not know what would happen, but she also drew a blank as to her next course of action. What was she going to do – sit there and stare at the wall and wait for this to play out? She was not comfortable with inaction and, despite her helplessness, she still had her brain. It was
