“No, your junk is too big. It doesn’t make any sense for it to feel like you’re poking holes in my gut,” I say between breaths.
“You’re on birth control?”
I nod. I grab his ass cheeks and squeeze hard, digging my nails into his flesh.
“Good, I’ll empty out inside of you,” he says. “Fuck, Sadie. Shit.”
Then I moan loud and hopefully I don’t wake up Jasper. He thrusts harder, harder, harder.
“F-Felix, I’m coming.” He doesn’t respond but rests his forehead on mine.
Several moments later, he throbs, and he shoot his hot cum inside of me. He rolls off me and pulls me into his arms, and I lie my head on his chest, listening to his ragged breath.
This is too personal.
This is too nice.
This is too warm
And most of all, this is too intimate.
We’re swimming in dangerous water and slowly I’ll be drowning in Felix.
And if I don’t stop this fling, then my heart is going to drown until its last breath.
Felix
The next morning, I get up and glance towards the window and it stopped raining. I hate the fucking rain, it makes me depressed. Then I glance to my right and Sadie is not in bed. Usually she’s not in bed when she spends the night at my place.
I throw on my clothes I had on last night and take a piss and snatch a toothbrush from the marble counter, brush my teeth. I don’t what came over me to tell Sadie about the miscarriage. Pillow talk is something I tend to stay away from with the women I keep around for fucking. No one knows about the miscarriage. Not my mom. Not my dad. Not my band mates. I had to give Mae thirty thousand for her not to go to the media about it. The thought not having my daughter pings my chest. Mae being on the arm of a rock star made her crazy. She loved the fortune. Not so much the fame. Sadie is not the gossiping type, so I doubt she’ll share it with anyone else. And telling her about it, felt like a relief.
Today, I have to work with the band to work on a few songs. Well, mainly with Easton, he’s the one that writes all that emo shit. Easton acts as if he’s the band and we’re the back-up singers. I don’t want to put up with his nitpicking and expecting perfection out of the band. And the band bickering about bullshit. I’m going to ditch them and hang out with Sadie.
When I swagger into the hallway, I hear laughter from the kitchen. The kitchen reeks of wealth. Stainless still fridge with a computer screen on the door that’s says “Good Morning.” The granite counters, and the floors of black marble are so black that it’s going to suck us in. The cabinets are white as milk and silver pots and pans hang from the ceiling.
Jasper and Sadie sit at the bar attached to the kitchen island and her head is lying on his shoulder. I hate the fact that he’s so close to her and that he knows everything about her. He knows her secrets and deep shit about her. And all I know is traits, like traits you’ll post about on a bullshit dating website.
He sees Sadie as a little more than friends, I can see it in his eyes, in the way he looks at her. As long as he doesn’t try to touch her then everything is fine between us. I don’t play about someone touching what’s mine, and as long as he’s not trying to play in my toybox then we’re okay. Their backs are facing me so they don’t know I’m standing here, eavesdropping on their convo.
“You need to get your shit together,” she tells him, lifting her head from his shoulder.
“I do. I fucking do. Since when did my life become a Jerry Springer show?”
“When you decided to have open relationships with two people. How do you keep those two sexually satisfied? I’m only fucking one guy and it’s hard for me to do that.”
I clear my throat. “You do fine. I just need a blow job every now and then and to be fucked four days a week, maybe five depending what kind of week I’m having.”
They both turn around at my words and she frowns.
“I got to get going,” Jasper’s voice grows dark and low. He stands up from the bar stool. I put my hand up to stop him.
“Why the rush? I want to hear about how you keep two people satisfied. I had a couple of threesomes, and it wasn’t hard unless it was two women but th--”
Sadie shoots me a glare and Jasper laughs. Then it’s an awkward silence.
“You don’t have anything to worry about with me and Sadie. There is nothing going on between us. She doesn’t want me.” He strokes her shoulders.
But how the fuck do you feel about her? I want to say. I’m not about to get in the way of their friendship. We’re not going to be together long. She’ll marry well, probably another CEO like her dad. And me, I’ll have different causal relationships with different women. The story of my life.
“I’m not worried about shit,” I lie straight through my teeth and her face turns the color of a brick.
“Right,” Jasper says, his facial expression is blank as a sheet of paper. “You want some breakfast? Sadie can’t cook worth a damn, her veggie omelet turned out too damn dry, so I got some real food. Mickey D’s.”
“Shut up,” she says, shooting him a glare.
“What did you get?”
“Sausage, biscuit with pancakes,” he answers.
“I’ll take it.”
He grabs the food from the paper bag and slides it over the black granite to me. I eat in silence.
“My flight leaves in an hour and I need to go. I’ll text you when I land,” he says to Sadie and he gives her
