“No,” my voice sounded small. I wouldn’t hide, scared. I needed to move on with my life.
“Beau can protect you. We can protect you here. If anyone comes for you—the mob, the cops, your husband.”
“I can’t ask you to do that, Rea. I won’t bring trouble to your door. He’s gone and I don’t know if the people that killed him are looking for me. I refuse to put you in that situation. I know what they’re capable of now… I can’t… I won’t… no, Reagan. What I could use is a job, though. I need to do this on my own. Stand on my own two feet and I can’t keep staying with my parents.”
“So, what’s the problem? You can stay here, which gets you out of your parent’s house, and keeps you safe. We’ve been needing a new groom too and we just haven’t found any decent applicants.”
“You’re just saying that…”
“No, I swear I’m not. We had a girl in here just last week who had no idea what a mane was… A MANE! How in the hell do you not know what a mane is…? I asked her to Google it even. A mane…” She shook her head and a small laugh erupted from my lips.
“You’re pulling my leg right now…”
“I wish I could say I was… I mean, a mane… seriously??”
“Ok, I get it. I do.”
“What’s next, a hoof? Man… now I wish I would have asked her. That would have been hilarious. I just can’t… some people are literally dumber than a doornail. A mane… she wanted to be a groom and didn’t even know what the hair on a horse’s neck is called…”. Reagan continued shaking her head and I laughed. I was so glad that our conversation had gotten lighter.
“Fine, you’ve twisted my arm just enough that I’ll be your groom, but I won’t move in. I just… can’t.”
“I will take what I can get… you’re hired!”
She didn’t ask any more questions and I was glad for that.
“Cassidy Mae, do you need to go to the doctor and get checked out while you’re here? I can take you myself and I’d feel more comfortable if you did.”
I thought about it for a minute. I knew I needed to see a doctor but I didn’t want them to tell me what I already knew. That yes, I was healing physically, but there was no telling when I’d feel whole again. Or if I could even after what I’d been through. If he came for me, I had the pictures I’d taken of the bruises.
“No,” the lie that I didn’t need to go see a doctor fell from my mouth too fast. I didn’t want to do that.
“Maybe… you should talk to someone about what happened? It might help.”
“No.” I didn’t want to talk, I wanted to move on.
“Ok, I won’t pry further, but I’m here if you ever want to talk.”
“I appreciate that, Rea. I really do.”
Later that day I sat my parents down in the living room. It was time to come clean and tell them why I was here. I couldn’t keep lying by omission. I needed to confide in them. I didn’t want to tell them that I’d seen him get killed because I hadn’t, but I had to tell them something. If the police showed up on our door one day I didn’t want them to be blindsided.
Daddy looked up at me first, “So, you’re finally ready to tell us what’s going on with you?”
“Yeah, I guess I am.” My voice was small and unsure.
“Are you okay, Cassidy Mae?” This time the voice came from my mama.
“I will be,” I told her.
Her face was etched in concern, “Oh, hunny…”
A tear slid down my face and I could feel every emotion coming back to me. I was home. I was safe, for now, and I couldn’t hold them in any longer.
“Before… you asked if this was because of Andrew, I’m sure by now you know it is.”
“Did that boy beat you, baby girl?” Daddy’s voice wavered, barely holding control. I didn’t want to lie to him, but I couldn’t not tell him the truth at this point. I opened my mouth to reply but no words came out so I just nodded. After a few minutes, “Just the once,” finally slipped from my lips.
“I’m gonna kill that sorry son of a bitch and make him wish he never laid a hand on my daughter. Now, where’s my shotgun.” He got up as if he was going in search of his shotgun and I reached out to hold him back.
“He’s not worth it, Papa. I’m here. I’m safe. I won’t be dealing with him again. He’s gone.”
“He’s gone?”
A whispered “They killed him,” escapes my lips but not loud enough for anyone to hear.
“Is that bastard…dead?” I couldn’t meet his eyes with the shame of it, so I nodded. “Does anyone else know?”
I shook my head. “No.”
“What happened? Are the police going to come looking for you here? What can we do for you? What do you need from us?” This time it was mama who spoke.
“You can’t do anything, mama. I just need some time. Really, I’ll be okay and no, no one will come for me. I doubt his coworkers will even report him missing with the way he treated them and odds are he’s already been taken care of so no one will know he’s missing. That’s what you get for being a lying, cheating, power hungry jerk.”
Stepping out into the brisk morning, I felt more determined. I’d come clean to my parents and Rea yesterday. As much as I’d hated to do it, I felt lighter now that I had. Today was the first day of my new job. A step in the right direction. A hint at a new future. One without abuse and hateful words.
Being at the stables seemed to calm the chaos wracking my brain. All
