I inhaled deeply as I greeted horses along the way. When I came to Elle’s stall, I stopped. I’d been brushing Elle once a day since I’d started working here and we’d become friends. As she stuck her head out of her stall, she nuzzled my pockets neighing softly, awaiting whatever sweet treat I’d brought for her today.
“You’ve got my number, don’t you, sweet girl?” I said running my hand up the blaze that covered the majority of her bay face.
She always gave me two eyes, curious yet knowing. Like somewhere deep down she knew that I’d been through something. Some days I swore she was reading the words on my soul. It was a comfort. She calmed me like a balm on the wounds of my heart. I showered her nose with smooches. Then gave her a sugar cube or three and then moved on to Tucker and Apache, Beau’s favorite.
I could see why he was the favorite. Apache had a kind, gentle nature though he was a big, brute of a quarter horse. His body was a smoky blue gray color while his face, legs, and mane were all jet black. All shimmer and glitz in the sun. A long dorsal line of black like the darkest eyeliner, striped down the center of his back, along his spine. Something that was very common among duns, as his markings were called. Probably the most handsome horse I’d ever laid eyes on next to Zeus.
It felt like home here in this barn, surrounded by these animals. I could just be me. I didn’t need to pretend to be anyone else. I didn’t need to hide myself behind the façade that I was fine. These animals weighed thousands of pounds and could kill me easily but I wasn’t afraid of them. Not like I’d been afraid of Andrew. They wouldn’t strike me for standing up for myself and asking for a divorce. They loved unconditionally and that made me feel safe.
“So, a little birdie told me we hired ourselves a new groom yesterday.” I jumped at the sound of his voice as I turned to see him standing there with the cutest damn grin I’ve ever seen.
A shy smile quirks the corners of my lips, “If that little birdie happens to be named Reagan, then you should know that she more or less demanded that I work here.”
“Sounds ‘bout right.”
“So, who should I start with today?” I was ready to get started with the first of my day. Standing so close to Beau made me uncomfortable, but not in an I’m afraid of him sort of way. More like my high school crush is now all man and I’m crushing hard sorta way.
“I’m going to work with Zeus later today if you’d like to watch.”
I quirked an eyebrow, “Watch?”
“Don’t think I haven’t noticed you been sitting with him every day. I can see a difference in his personality. I think it’s helping him warm up to you.” I didn’t know if he was just inflating my ego or if he could truly tell there was a difference with Zeus. I hoped that I truly was helping. If nothing else, by now, I think he’d know I would never do anything to hurt him.
“I can understand where he’s coming from…” I wasn’t going to elaborate. I was already so embarrassed after telling Reagan and my parents. I didn’t want Beau to see me that way; as an abused wife too dumb to leave her no good husband.
“What happened, Cass? Don’t get me wrong, I’m happier than a horse at feeding time that you’re back in town, but you ain’t the same girl… Shit, I mean you’re a woman now and… apparently I can’t get a damn word to come out of my mouth right…” He said, shaking his head.
I shook my head. My heart was in my throat. I couldn’t speak. I had no idea how I could get around telling him what happened. I didn’t want to. I’d known Beau for a long time now, but things change when you’ve been through what I have. That trust that was once there feels misplaced or depleted. At the end of the day he’s still a man. He’s not Andrew and even if he hasn’t gained my full trust yet, we’re getting there.
“Well, I’ll be damned, look what the holler dragged in. And here I thought I might be a spell early.” Reagan’s smile is wide as she looks between us. “So, what’d I miss?”
I’m the first to pipe up, “Just fixin’ to get this day started.”
“Well as far as I can tell we got horses to feed, stalls to muck, horses to groom and work. Let’s stop piddling around and get to it. Get…shoo.” She says waving her hands at us.
Whinnies, neighs, and horses happily munching fill the air as the grain filters into feed buckets throughout the barn. Two flakes of hay are thrown into each stall and water buckets are topped off.
We give them an hour to eat before we start to turn out for the day. One by one they’re led out to the pasture. Ten in total, including Zeus. Titan, Elle, Tucker, and Oakley went out together in one pasture, while Jet, Koko, Remmy, and Cash went into another. Meanwhile, Apache and Zeus went into their own separate paddocks. I didn’t have to ask why. You always separated the stallions from the mares and geldings.
I hadn’t realized at first that Zeus or Apache were stallions but it was very obvious when they were out of their stalls, if ya know what I mean. Apache had a very calm demeanor about him. I’d have never suspected he was a hot-blooded stallion.
The rest of the morning was spent knee deep in horse crap, so to say, mucking out stalls. I was tired. My sweat infused hair
