“Cassidy Mae, look at me.”
She shook her head, reverting back to her former self of indecision.
I leaned over and bumped her shoulder with my own. “Hey… babe.”
She finally looked up at me and I leaned in to kiss her cheek.
“I know change is scary, but I don’t want you to be scared of us… I want you to feel confident in opening up to me. In letting me in. When I say I want all of you, I want everything. Bring me your fears, your goals, your dreams, your passion, your love. I want to be equals and face this life together. I have no intention of controlling you. You’re a strong, independent, smart woman, and the fact that Andrew never really saw it kills me inside. Give me a chance. Please, babe.”
“I promise to try, Beau. I want to be an us.”
I spent the rest of the afternoon working on chores around the farm. Mucking stalls, working in the office going over invoices, and calling people. Midway through the afternoon, Remington found his way into my office and sat down. He didn’t say anything, just sat and waited for me to finish what I’d been working on.
“What’s up, Rem?”
“Women are horrible creatures put on earth to torment us, make us fall for them, and then leave us when we need them most. I don’t even know why I try anymore. Maybe I should just give up at this point. I clearly ain’t getting through to that damn woman and I don’t think I’m ever going to.”
“Faith?”
He nodded. “I fucked up once, Beau. One time. One indiscretion. The worst mistake of my life and now she thinks I’m a grade-A douchebag. I don’t know how to fix it.”
“Rem, have you ever apologized and explained what happened to Faith?”
He sighed and shook his head, “I’ve tried. Many times. She doesn’t want to hear it.”
“Maybe instead of telling her, you should show her. Do something nice for her. Invite her out to dinner, buy. Leave her love notes and apology notes so she sees that you’re trying. ‘I’m sorry’ are just two words. Do something. Anything…”
He shrugged his shoulders.
“I don’t know, man. You know I’m not the dress up and go somewhere fancy type of guy. Not even a fancy restaurant in this town to go to. I’ve never been poetic either. That’s girl shit.”
“Next town over is Maggie’s. Nothin’ super fancy, but it’s real nice. River view, the food’s good.”
“Is it pricey?”
“You love that girl?”
“Well, yeah.”
“Price shouldn’t matter then, but if you need me to loan you some money to take her out, I will. You know I’ll always help in any way I can.”
“Thanks, man. Not sure she’ll go for it, but I’m willing to do whatever it takes to get her back. So, enough about me. What’s going on with you and Cassidy Mae?”
“Not much. Thought things were going in the right direction. She seemed to be on board with how things were going and then she gets a little squirrely. Like she isn’t sure about us. I don’t know what to do. I am not him. I’ll never be him, but she’s definitely still stuck on her past. She thinks he’s dead, but I think the real thing holding her back is fear of change. I haven’t got any idea how to fix it though.”
“You have any idea what actually happened to her?”
“She told me bits and pieces, but I don’t know if it was the whole story or not.”
“Man, I have a feeling you wouldn’t like the whole story even if you knew it. You could tell the second she came home she wasn’t the same.”
“You’d know something about treating a girl like crap, wouldn’t you?”
“Not fair. You don’t know why I did it.”
“Well, then enlighten me…”
“I’d rather not. Now, back to Cassidy Mae.”
“Fine, I’ll stop talking about it, but whatever you did to her wasn’t right and you know it. Good reason or not. I suspect a whole lot of making up is in your future. As far as Cass goes, she asked for time and as much as it kills me, that’s what I’m going to have to do.”
He shook his head and the air between us was silent. I knew we were both thinking about things in our own mind space. I wanted to get us off this topic and onto something that would be better.
“So, you riding any broncs at the fair this year?”
He shrugged his shoulders. “Don’t know yet. Probably not. Faith never liked me riding those death traps anyhow.”
I scoffed. “Hey now, broncs aren’t as bad as riding a bull.”
“True story, but still don’t think she’d be okay with it. She may not like me right now but I’m not gonna piss her off on purpose.”
I put my hands up. “Fair enough.”
“How ‘bout you? Cassidy Mae got you itching to ride one of them broncs?”
I shook my head from side to side.
“Not a chance.”
I wouldn’t ride one of those if someone paid me.
The horse show was last Saturday. Tomorrow started the livestock shows and then Saturday was the barrel racing preliminary races. Cassidy Mae and Oakley were ready, had been since last week. They were going to be fierce competitors this year and no one knew it was coming either. We hadn’t told anyone that she was competing this year, per her request. She said she wanted the wow factor, but I knew it was more along the lines of she didn’t want to be embarrassed if it didn’t work out in her favor. She was still insecure most days and even though she tried to portray her life like she had everything under control, I knew the difference.
As
