still liked to keep me in the dark with just about everything. I think he liked me
blissfully ignorant of the darkness he dealt with every day, but at times, it was hard
not to see it reflected in him. I’d notice on certain days he’d come home with blood
on his shirt, smelling like gunpowder and completely bury himself deep inside me
like it was his fucking sanctuary. And afterward, he’d shower all the death off the
both of us, carry my exhausted ass to bed, and tuck me into his side for the rest of
the night.
I still hated the man with every fiber of my being, but when the rare moments
came that he was gentle and almost loving, I couldn’t stop myself from diving
headfirst into the comfort he provided me. He was always so stern, intense and
brooding, yet somehow, he was still capable of leaving it all at the bedroom door
and showing me a softer side that existed only for me. Of course, that was only
when he felt like it and if I deserved it.
Before he’d left for the day, he gave me one of his Rolexes so I would know when
my hour was up in the woods. The damn thing was so big; it fit around my fucking
forearm, not to mention it felt like a damn weight strapped to my arm. I tried to
reason with him that I would likely lose it, but he warned me of the consequences if
that happened. He promised to replace it with my own at dinner.
That day, I’d spent most of my time outside, jogging in the water and walking
back waist deep as I had with Holly. Every moment I spent training, I couldn’t help
but think of her and remember how pissed off I still was at her death. It shouldn’t
have happened. I should have done better at keeping her safe from Darren’s
suspicions. She might have annoyed the hell out of me, but she got me back on my
feet, and she didn’t deserve to die.
When I decided to venture out into the trees, I made sure Darren’s stupid watch
was wedged tightly against the muscle of my forearm before I left Clive and Owen
on the patio. It was 12:30 p.m., so I had to be back by 1:30 p.m.
I jogged through the trees, observing every single thing I could of the
landscaping. I passed the hammock and small stream Darren had brought me to so
long ago, the memory of him pushing for info about my dad suddenly pissing me
off as I strolled past. Eventually, I finally came to the clearing and found a nice
shady spot where I could sit. Closing my eyes, I quieted my mind and meditated for
a while. It was hard to meditate in that house when so much darkness and cruelty
surrounded me. I was glad Darren was giving me a reprieve from it all.
Once I felt clarified, I removed Darren’s watch, carefully placing it in a spot
against a tree, and practiced some yoga, working on my handstands and advanced
poses. I couldn’t practice with the giant clunky thing dangling from my wrist. The
fact that the ground was grassy and extremely uneven made it more difficult, and I
liked the challenge in that. I moved on to practice my advanced spinning and jump
kicks, trying my best to get them higher and higher every time.
Needing a break from the exertion, I took a walk, purposefully heading to the
fox’s den to see if they were there. Creeping up to the tree, I carefully peered
around it, only to be flooded by disappointment. Not even a peep. Maybe they were
sleeping in the den. Turning back around, I sat on the ground and slumped against
the tree, but when I finally raised my head, my stomach dropped.
The mother fox was staring right at me no more than ten feet away from where I
sat. Remaining as still as possible, my eyes scanned every inch of her, recognizing
her posture as non-aggressive but still cautious. She stood to her full height—her
ears forward, tail down, and her eyes right on me. I tried to relax, making myself as
least threatening as possible and hoping I wouldn’t have to hurt her if she attacked.
Darren would kick my ass if a wild animal hurt me out here, and then he’d probably
never allow me back out.
After a few minutes of staring, she moved closer to me, her nose leading the way
as she sniffed the air. Step after hesitant step, she made her way to me, and I
regretted letting her get as close as she did. If I got bit, there would be hell to pay.
No more than a foot away from me, she continued to sniff, her jaws opening to
breathe me in and allowing me to catch the remnants of her sharp little teeth. I
thought about maybe scaring her away, but then she might retaliate to protect her
kits, and I’d still end up with a bite mark. So I remained as still as ever, trying to
keep
