children, I was still a captive. Darren and Sid could try to twist the philosophy of it
however they wanted, but if I wasn’t allowed the choice to leave, I was a captive.
End of. But I could choose what kind of captive to be; whether that was a
cooperative captive or a rebellious captive, it was my choice.
But where would cooperation lead me? Right into the devil’s arms.
To Darren, this would always be a game of wills. And if I wasn’t careful, if I
unconsciously gave in to my trauma and surrendered my internal fight from years
of exhaustion, I’d never forgive myself. From the moment I’d first come into his
ownership, it’d been nothing but manipulation. So far, I’d been able to withstand
and counter, but I had a feeling his efforts were about to increase tenfold. I had to
stay sharp, stay aware, and keep my heart guarded against the evils that sought to
destroy me. I might have to bend to Darren’s will, but I would not yield to my own.
28
SNOW
My knuckles ached. After my night with Jaden, I still had too much energy to
dispel, though I had no idea how. Fighting with her always put me on edge, and
while I had to be somewhat gentle with her, it wasn’t required for the scumbags
who owed me money.
Every now and then, when I was in the mood, I’d handle the debtors myself and
take whatever pent-up rage and violence I’d been harboring out on them. Some
survived, some didn’t. Some were never the same again. If they happened to have
the money, I might just break a bone here or there for making me wait. Interest
didn’t have to be in the form of money. It could also be in blood. And it was always
at my discretion.
Scott would sometimes have too much fun with them, to the point I would
applaud his creativity. The more blood he spilled, the more satisfied he seemed. He
was a sick son of a bitch, and I loved him for it. But tonight wasn’t about blood loss;
it was more of a blunt force trauma kind of night.
I’d cracked three skulls in the last hour, each one worth about ten grand in
comparison to their gambling debts from the underground poker parties—money I
didn’t give a shit about. I’d made that in an hour alone. I didn’t hide from my urges
to create pain; I didn’t deny myself the enjoyment of instilling fear in others and
then reminding them of why they had good cause to be afraid. It was exhilarating.
Choosing whether to grant life or death and then act out that choice was an
experience to behold.
My father had always taught me about the importance of life—that it was
important to give and important to take. When their purpose was gone, they no
longer held value and instantly became a liability. We didn’t deal with liabilities—
we eliminated them without hesitation. You didn’t leave the family simply because
of this principle. You might be granted leave to retire past a certain age, but if you
were called upon—no matter the reason—your loyalty remained unquestionable.
No one ever wanted to become a liability, yet I had granted one exception. The only
liability worth all the trouble.
By the time we got back to the house, and I was satisfied, I couldn’t help but look
forward to finding Jaden naked and asleep in my bed. I wanted to feel her soft skin
against mine, her solid tiny frame in my arms while her glossy hair draped over my
shoulder. She had the ability to calm and enrage me at the same time; it was a
dangerous combination, but feeling her against me was one of the best feelings in
the world.
So when I passed the guards standing post at my bedroom door and opened it to
find her not in my bed, irritation and a small amount of panic set in because she
wasn’t where I expected her to be. My eyes quickly scanned the room until I found
her sitting on the floor in the moonlight by the window. Her pale naked skin
practically glowed in the light, making her look like something straight from
Heaven. With her red hair draped down her bare back, the light of the moon
changed the hue of the colors, making them darker, almost blood-like. Beautiful.
She didn’t turn around as I entered, but I had a strong feeling she knew I was
there since I noticed her go hands move
