I leaned into him and felt him tremble.
“The only ones who respect me are my crew and my client. Even the mercenaries I’m currently working with fear me--joking about how everything I touch dies. I don’t want that with you. Here you are—not afraid of what I look like or my history—and I can’t stop lashing out defensively. I keep saying things before I think. I’ll try to do better. I promise. What can I do to make it up to you?” Kaede begged.
“Stop questioning my relationships. You know what I’ve been through. Be happy for me. Be supportive. In attacking them, you’re attacking me. There’s not a competition. My having them in my life, bonding with them—it doesn’t preclude a friendship with you. If you want to be friends with me and you want me to trust you, then you need to stop the cruel, jealous, mean-spirited jabs. You need to trust me, if you want me to trust you.”
He took in a deep breath and pulled away, looking down into my eyes. “Is that it?”
I rubbed my eyes clear of the last of my tears and nodded. “I hate fighting. I grew up surrounded by anger, hatred, and casual cruelty. I don’t want that to be a part of my life ever again. And I refuse to subject my cubs to it. I know I won’t always see eye-to-eye with my nestmates, or you, or my cubs’ sire. That’s a part of life. But I won’t allow disrespect, jealousy, or resentment in my family.”
“Tell you what.” I laughed and looked at him mischievously. “You promise to stop attacking my relationships and to listen—and give me foot massages whenever I want—I’ll forgive you.”
A confused look crossed his face. “That easy?”
“I doubt it’ll be easy, Kaede. But you now know what I want. If you’re going to be my Head of Security, I don’t want awkwardness between us. I want a chance to be your friend. I don’t have many of those... Perhaps you could introduce me to your half-sisters sometime?”
“Okay, deal. But why the foot massages?”
I grinned.
“Because they’re the best I’ve ever had—though I’ll deny it if you tell anyone! And at the moment my body aches all over... so I’ll take whatever I can get from this deal.”
His face lit up, and he smiled. I was struck by how completely his happiness transformed his face.
“You drive a hard bargain. If being your personal foot massager is the price I must pay for my foolishness, so be it. Give me your feet and I’ll start now.”
Chapter Thirty-Five Selena
A gentle hand brushed my hair off my face.
“Selena...”
I shifted, trying to wake up and orient myself. Hands kneaded my right foot and I groaned, snuggling back into the cushion beneath my head. I was exhausted, and the cocoon of warmth encouraged me to stay in bed.
I started to drift off again as I enjoyed the gentle massage.
Someone dragged the blanket away and I whimpered at the touch of the cool air.
“Selena. You need to get up and have something to eat. If you are still tired afterward, we will come right back to bed,” Xylo coaxed, his deep voice low and gentle.
The hands on my foot stopped their massage. One wrapped around my ankle as the other traced tickling circles on the arch of my foot. I squealed, instantly awake, trying to jerk my foot away.
“Stop!” I begged between laughs.
The lights were off and the curtains at half mast, casting the room in shadow. Low light streamed from the terrarium onto the couch where I lay. Xylo sat beside my head with Odelm beside him. Both watched in shock as Kaede tickled my foot.
I squealed again. “Stop. Stop! Okay, okay...” I writhed on the couch.
“Are you going to stay awake and go to dinner as Xylo asked?” Kaede questioned, still attacking my foot with his fingers.
“Yes! Yes...” I gasped.
He stopped tickling and released my ankle. Then he and Xylo helped me sit up as I tried to catch my breath. I looked at him in surprise. He hadn’t replaced his visor. I was shocked he’d allowed Xylo and Odelm to see his face, though maybe that meant he was finally—
A violent kick to my ribcage made me hiss at the sharp pain.
“What’s wrong?” Kaede asked, his voice panicked.
“My cubs decided to help you wake me up with a swift kick to the ribs,” I explained between gasps. “Want to feel?”
I glanced at him. His focus was on my hands rubbing my stomach. Kaede’s gaze met mine before he turned to my nestmates.
“You’d allow it?”
“It’s not our decision. It’s hers.”
His gaze still focused on both Odelm and Xylo. “But it’s okay if I touch her stomach?”
I eyed both of my nestmates and waited for their response.
Xylo’s eyes fell to the gloved hands on Kaede’s knees.
“I do not see why you are asking now. Selena already permitted you to have your hands on her and has offered again.”
Odelm watched Kaede intently.
“Odelm and I have been blessed to feel the life growing within her. If she is permitting you to experience it, I suggest you seize the opportunity before it is revoked.”
Kaede lowered himself onto the floor and shuffled over to kneel in front of me. His eyes were glued to my stomach as he gingerly placed his hands on it.
At that precise moment, my cubs moved, kicking powerfully at Kaede’s hands. I bit my lip to remain quiet, not wanting Kaede to think he’d caused me pain.
The black-slits of his neon eyes dilated as his thin black lips parted in wonder. The room remained silent as we watched Kaede. The mood was contented, calm—and it was not Odelm manipulating our emotions. I smiled as peace swept over me.
This was the type of moment I’d always yearned for.
When my cubs finally stilled, Kaede reluctantly removed his hands. He gave me a grateful smile. “Thank you for allowing that. I would
