Would I get a chance to get to know them individually and fall in love?
Only time would tell, and quite frankly, I was content to wait. I couldn’t compare my connections with Xylo and Odelm to the connections with the Circuli princes, or even with Zirene for that matter, because each one had developed individually.
In the future, if all I formed with my Circuli princes was a deep friendship, I would accept it. I wasn’t willing to push the princes to allow me into their tight-knit relationship. I will consider it a bonus if any more profound relationship formed in the wake of our friendship. After growing up with no companions, I welcomed any genuine friendships I could gather, no matter the unusual circumstances.
My relationships with Xylo and Odelm and the one blossoming with Zirene into something . . .deeper was more than enough for me.
I didn’t know why I would need anyone else.
What was I missing in my life? Or who?
No matter how much I have tried, I cannot forget how Kaede acts when he is around me.
The way his eyes always follow me whenever he thought I wasn’t looking—or thought I was, and he just didn’t care. I would pass off his behavior as part of his job as my security detail, if not for those rare moments when he lowered his walls. He seemed to build up walls to block out everyone, showing only glimpses of vulnerability to me. Every time I’d tried to get him to open up, he just pushed me farther away.
Was I such unpleasant company? Or was he angry at me because he’d been assigned to follow my every move instead of enjoying the same freedom his sisters were allowed?
His loyalty was aligned with my Shadow, not me, thus forming a friendship with him was difficult. I was his assignment, and even though I trusted him to protect me, he would counteract my wishes if the situation—or Zirene—demanded it.
Our fragile friendship complicated his work, so I understood why he kept as much distance as possible.
Closing my eyes, I exhaled slowly and tried to soothe all my frustrations about the confusing male.
“So there you are.”
Smiling, I instantly knew who had snuck up on me. My soul recognized his deep voice I loved so much and the golden thread that connected me to his teal mental shield.
“I wasn’t hiding.” I stretched and rolled over onto my stomach to face him. “It’s almost bedtime. Where is everyone?”
I already knew the answer before I spoke the question. My bond threads told me my mates were just outside in our private backyard, but I didn’t know what they were doing. I wondered why they hadn’t joined me in our nestbed to try to get some rest for tomorrow.
“Relaxing while granting our nestqueen the alone time she needs.” Xylo gave me a gentle smile as his eyes trailed my body before latching onto mine. “Are you well?”
Sometimes I wondered if he was part-Ulax, considering how well he read my emotions. He was almost as attuned as Odelm, and he always instantly knew when something was wrong.
“As well as I can be,” I shrugged, flipping my hair over my shoulder. “I’m not looking forward to standing in front of thousands tomorrow.”
“No, but you have done this once already. This time, you are prepared.” He strolled over, stopping in front of the nestbed as he offered me both of his hands. “Come with me. Allow your mates to ease your worries.”
“Does this have to do with the reason you’ve all gathered in the backyard?” I raised an eyebrow, accepting his hands as I sat up. “Should I be worried?”
"Never," Xylo whispered, pulling me to my feet. He stared, mesmerized, as a vine combed my hair back, pushing the strands behind my shoulders. "You have nothing to fear."
I leaned forward, lifting my veil over my nestmate's connection and giving him a gentle kiss. "Then tell me what my males have prepared for me."
A shiver passed through his body as he sucked in a quick breath, shaking his head, and stepped away. "I can't spoil the surprise," he teased, his eyes searching mine. "Why not follow me and find out?"
“Maybe I will,” I whispered, biting my lip as I side-eyed the nestbed. “Just when I was getting comfortable, too.”
“It will be worth it, I promise,” he replied, tugging my hands to lead me through our master bedroom’s side door. “Let us put you at ease.”
I was all for being put at ease, and my males knew it.
Whether helping me raise the cubs or working out plans for Destima’s future, they had stayed by my side every step of the way. We followed different daytime routines—Xylo researching with his team, the Circuli princes working alongside Vagren to build new apartment-style community homes for the crew, and Zirene ran off to virtual conferences and other various princely duties. Only Odelm spent most of his day by my side while I supervised Pavryn with the cubs and checked up on the island’s progress. By mid-afternoon, we performed our daily check-ups before lunch, and then I was done working for the day. While the cubs napped, I would lie in the sanctuary and listen to Odelm play his music until my clan came home for dinner.
During moments like this, the particular interval between when the cubs fell asleep and when we settled down for bed, I enjoyed our private time to relax. I snuck in intimate moments with one of my mates or just existed with my clan as a whole as we unwound from the day’s events.
Smiling, I watched Xylo glow along with the moon’s nightlife and the solar globes lining our backyard and lighting our pathway. The small spheres held little orbs that illuminated a variety of colors, matching the brightness of Xylo’s bioluminescent patterns.
I paused and reached for the nearest elegant night lamp,
