“What’s a ‘date’?” Z’fir asked from beside me, holding a glass of Xowyn to his lips. “You keep repeating that word, but I don’t understand the concept.”
“It is how unbonded males attract a nestqueen,” Xylo explained, sitting on the other side of Zirene and me. “My team was educated by the recent female additions to our staff. Kaica questioned my—well, in this case, our—dedication to Selena, since we’ve never taken her on a planned outing designed to impress her and make her feel special. She explained how important it is to constantly show your appreciation for the female you are interested in—no matter if you’re already bonded together.”
“How come you never told me about this, nestbrother?” Odelm questioned Xylo, his voice filled with worry. “You knew I was a rejected male! Doing this ‘date’ could’ve attracted—”
“I believe you’re forgetting that all four of you are permanently bonded to me!” I growled, meeting each nestmate's eyes, stopping this descent of thoughts. “I am your nestqueen already, and I don’t need anything fancy to feel appreciated.” I paused, letting my words sink, as I gestured to the elegant villa and its backyard. “All I want is to surround myself with my lovers and live peacefully as a clan while we create a safe-haven for Destima’s citizens.”
“But you are still going on one of these dates with Xylo,” V’dim replied, looking between Xylo and me. “Why would you entertain spending time alone with him, but not any of us?”
Sighing, I closed my eyes as I tried to come up with an answer.
It would only be fair to allow each one of them to take me out on a date. They didn’t understand that I was already content, and there wasn’t any need for them to go out of their way to attract me. I was already theirs. As stressed as I was about tomorrow, I couldn’t fight the smile that arose at their eagerness to please me. These males wanted to get to know me better, in a personal setting beyond the villa.
Why should I deny them?
“Fine,” I sighed, flicking my gaze toward my Circuli princes. They were the ones who would benefit the most from alone time with me. “However, I don’t want this to create any strife between any of you. I don’t know how to stress this enough: I am already your nestqueen, so there is no need to fight to convince me to take you in. I already have.” I turned to Odelm. Out of my four nestmates, he would be the most sensitive about this. “Xylo offered to take me to the cave in hopes of finding the answers I seek. If you want to plan a date for just us, go ahead, but know that I don’t need it.”
“Understood,” Odelm whispered, nodding his head as relief flooded his face. “But I want you to remember this, Selena. You may not need us to pay you extra attention, but that doesn’t mean that you don’t deserve it. I understand the concept of dating; I traveled along with my fathers when they did their trade runs. Many species have unique traditions when it comes to courtship and mating, and while it may not be normal for Circuli, the concept isn’t completely foreign.”
“Bonded Circuli males typically fight to be Favored and granted a spot in the center of their nestqueen’s bed,” Z’fir explained. “You claim you won’t choose any Favored, but our bodies don’t know this. We have a biological need to make you happy and protect you, the core of our clan. But just as our bodies yearn to make the courting bond permanent, rebelling against us whenever we are close to our nestqueen, the same happens when you don’t declare a Favored. It doesn’t matter whether we know rationally, why we don’t share the center of your bed, we can’t control our need for an established hierarchy within our clan.”
“Z’fir and I understand that our clan is unique—different,” V’dim added quickly. “But from our standpoint, Xylo and Odelm are already your Favored because you rotate through them as your center guards.”
“But—”
“No, Selena,” Zirene warned, squeezing my hips. “What they are saying is true. Unknowingly, you created a hierarchy amongst your males, even though you never declared a Favored officially. There’s a clear divide between them. Even I’ve noticed how they all refer to Xylo.”
“Is this true?”
The four Circuli males kept silent as I stared each one down, hoping one would speak up.
When I’d accidentally formed a courting bond with Xylo, I didn’t know anything about Circuli culture. Stars, I didn’t know anything! After we had sealed our fate together, I discovered the details of their species’ clan relations and the power the nestqueens held within them.
Am I just like them?
“We could sense you were spiraling,” Z’fir revealed, placing a hand upon my leg and halting my thoughts. “V’dim and I accepted your offer to join this clan fully aware that its dynamics would be different. This fate is far better than the one our mothers were trying to force upon us. We would rather take you as our nestqueen, despite our differing species, because we saw how you treated your current nestmates.”
“Both Xylo and Odelm have grown as individuals, becoming more open-minded and active within the community ever since they bonded with you, Selena,” V’dim added while one of his tentacles brushed back my hair. “It’s clear that your love for them has made them better—and happier. Z’fir and I know we are lucky to call you our friend. A normal nestqueen wouldn’t even fathom accepting one bonded male, let alone a set pair, but you did. Our only hope is to continue to support you while helping our nestbrothers take care of our clan.”
“But I don’t want to choose any Favored,” I admitted, tears threatening to form. “I don’t want to draw lines between
