My eyes widened.
“The trick is to be well-fed before throwing yourself into a situation with a lot of humans. That makes it bearable, but it’s never easy or comfortable,” he said.
I nodded.
“But it’s not just the desire to drink their blood. The heightened senses make it difficult, too. We can hear everything. See everything. Smell everything. Feel everything. That’s overwhelming, especially when you’re brand new and don’t know how to handle it. They control you,” he said.
He dragged his hands down to rest on my legs, and a shiver of delight wiggled up my spine. I loved when he touched me, no matter how small or innocent it was.
“But when you do learn to control them”—he took my hand and pressed his palm to mine, our fingers perfectly aligned for a moment before he laced our fingers—“it’s one of the best parts of being a vampire. The sensations. The feelings.”
He cupped the back of my neck with his free hand and brought my mouth to his, teasing my bottom lip before finally kissing me. “I wish you could feel what it’s like for me, Chloe,” he muttered against my lips, then kissed me again. Deeper. Slower.
My heart thundered in my chest, my pulse pounded in my throat, and no amount of air could fill my lungs to replace the breath he was methodically stealing with every flick of his tongue.
I knew what it felt like to kiss Trent as a human, and it was beyond words. I couldn’t begin to imagine how much better it was for him, or how he didn’t lose his mind with how overwhelming it must be. Would I ever be strong enough to handle that?
Gasping, I reluctantly pulled away and met Trent’s gaze. His eyes were such a bright shade of crystal blue that it was impossible not to drown in their depths. I adjusted so I was once again settled between his legs, my back to his chest. He was quick to wrap his arms around me, and I welcomed his warmth.
“The first time you fed, was it hard?” I asked.
“No. It was actually very easy. Instinctual.” He kissed my temple, my cheek, and then my neck. “Right now, the thought of drinking blood grosses you out, but if you change, it won’t. You’ll want it. Crave it. And you’ll know exactly what to do.”
I suppressed a shudder.
“And I will be with you every step of the way, helping you,” he whispered against my ear. “I won’t ever leave you.”
I closed my eyes and pressed tighter against him. I didn’t doubt the truth of his words, but I still wasn’t sold on the whole vampire lifestyle. He’d told me once that they feed on animals, but he hadn’t gone into detail, and I hadn’t pressed him for more answers.
Could I do that, though? Could I really kill an innocent animal and drink its blood? The thought of doing that, of harming any animal in that way, had my chest tightening with grief.
“Anything else you’d like to know?” A familiar lightness had returned to his voice.
“Yeah.” I sat up, removed my shoes, then faced him again.
Keeping my gaze on his, I slowly unbuttoned his shirt. He lay there, watching me, brow raised. My heart raced as I peeled open his shirt and trailed my fingers across his bare stomach, tracing the defined lines of his abs. There wasn’t a blemish or imperfection anywhere on him that I could see.
“Are all vampires as physically perfect as you?” I asked.
He laughed. “No one is as perfect as I am.”
I rolled my eyes, though my smile couldn’t be contained.
“Our blood has regenerative properties, so when a person changes, their appearance is enhanced,” he said. “To humans, we look flawless, but we’re not. Sean has a scar near his eye.”
“Right.” I had forgotten about that, but that scar was what originally led me to realizing Sean wasn’t human. “Do you have any scars?”
“No.” He pulled me down so I was on top of him.
I was going to have a scar from my recent surgery that no amount of Vitamin E lotion would help. Would that disappear if I changed? If Sean still had a scar, I probably would, too. Not that I was going to change just to find out if my scar would go away. Either way, I needed to make a decision soon. I couldn’t keep living in limbo like this. Neither could Trent.
“Do vampires get married?” I asked.
Trent laughed again, the sound rumbling through his chest. “That’s an odd question.”
“Well, do they?”
“Why? Are you trying to ask me to marry you?” he teased.
“No.” I huffed and pushed against his chest until I could see his face.
Amusement danced in his blue eyes, and his lips were turned up in a faint smile.
“I’m just curious what vampires do when they fall in love,” I said with a small shrug.
“Some do, yes. But most just pair up, and among our kind, when a couple is paired, it’s known that both are off-limits to anyone else.”
“Is that the same as claiming a soulmate?” I asked, tilting my head.
“No. A lot of vampires never find their soulmates, so they tend to just pair up with someone they love.” He stroked my hair, his hand coursing down my back.
I closed my eyes and shivered from his touch. He dragged his hand back up and tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. I leaned forward and pressed my lips to his, savoring the way he kissed me, languid and full of passion.
No matter what I decided to do, I wanted to marry Trent. I wanted that small sense of normalcy in a world that was anything but normal.
“Now, it’s my turn to ask you a question,” he said.
Before I had time to process what he’d said, he had me sitting on the chair—alone—and he knelt in front of me. My heart stopped, and I couldn’t take a deep enough
