‘You didn’t think to tell me about this?’
Adam rolled his eyes and pushed the phone in front of me. There was Hannah, but not as I knew her – she had a real talent for self-portraits. The pictures of her were mixed with random images – a shell on the sand, a wildflower, a close-up of the leaves on the tree in the garden. Her captions were little notes of positive affirmations, tips for self-confidence and dealing with bereavement. And Adam was right – she had more than eight thousand followers. My jaw dropped in disbelief.
Was this how Hannah was spending her time when she was glued to her phone?
‘It started right after Mum died and we were off school,’ Hannah said in a quiet voice. ‘I wanted to talk about how I was feeling and then it just became this thing, where I was helping other people in the same situation handle their feelings.’ Her tone was almost apologetic. ‘I’ve been doing mindfulness exercises and meditation with Betsy, trying stuff out together.’
Betsy beamed at her sister.
‘You know what, Han – I think it sounds fantastic.’ Mike squeezed her hand. ‘And your mum…’ He gulped. ‘Your mum would be so incredibly proud of you for helping other people. That was what she did, she was always thinking about others before herself. You’re cut from the same cloth.’
A silence fell over the room and I felt the tension harden in the air, solidifying in the spaces between us. I wanted to scream at Mike, to smack him with something. Strong, violent, angry thoughts clouded my vision like a storm blowing in off the sea.
It was such a simple comment, and the obvious thing to say to a grieving child, but it felt like he was taking Amy’s name in vain. How dare he invoke her memory? How did he have the audacity to proclaim himself as the expert on Amy’s feelings, after everything he had done?
Mum shuddered. ‘Did you feel that? The chi is abysmal tonight. We’ll have to do an aura cleansing before we eat, or we’ll all get sick.’
Adam discreetly placed the palm of his hand on my shoulder and gave me a little squeeze. I glanced at him and saw the warning in his eyes, pleading with me to calm down. I forced myself to smile back.
Mum had us all sit down around the table and join hands. Before all this had happened, I wouldn’t have even stayed in the room, let alone participated, and I would have been mortified to have Jake see the weird stuff she was in to. But I could see how much better it was making Mum, and that it was rubbing off on Hannah – not to mention Betsy – and I was beginning to appreciate it. She seemed to be on to something with feng shui, and after her meditation session the other day I did feel lighter and more relaxed. Mum would say that it meant I’d been spiritually cleansed – I preferred to think of it as a chill-out session.
Mum pulled a pale pink crystal from her bag and placed it in the middle of the table. I checked the group – everyone had their eyes closed and looked like they were taking it very seriously. Even Betsy had adopted a serene expression that made her look like a much older girl.
Mum started speaking, her voice dipping up and down in a strange sing-song pattern.
‘Remember everyone, focus on the intention – bad energy out, good energy in. Take deep cleansing breaths and be mindful to let out any negative thoughts, any regrets, any darkness as you exhale…’
My phone vibrated in the pocket of my jeans. I opened one eye just to peek – everyone else still had theirs closed. Jake was holding my hand on one side and I had Rachel on the other.
‘And now think of the energy in the room. I want you to visualise any toxic energy and harmful feelings and watch them blowing out of the door, blowing out of the window… And as they leave, they create space for light, warmth, and good energy. Imagine water flowing over you, cleansing you, leaving you feeling lighter, happier and free from earthly worries.’
The phone burned in my pocket and I willed Mum to finish so that I could check my messages.
‘There,’ she finally said, smiling around the room, still speaking in her up-and-down voice. ‘You can now open your eyes and take a moment to express gratitude to one another.’
Jake looked like he had just woken up from a nap. ‘That was marvellous, Anne,’ he said, stifling a yawn.
‘I know, right?’ Adam beamed at Mum. ‘I’ve missed my spiritual guru!’
Mum blushed and shrugged him off.
‘Will you excuse me for a second?’ I muttered as I climbed out from the bench.
Rachel caught my eye and I silently pleaded with her to keep quiet. I darted out the kitchen and ran upstairs to the bathroom, locking the door behind me.
There was one new message, from Jennifer.
I’ve been through the guest log – your brother-in-law was indeed a regular visitor. I also have an ID of the woman who checked in with him. I don’t know how to tell you this. Can you please call me when you get a chance to talk?
I splashed my face with cold water.
The woman staring back at me in the mirror was almost unrecognisable. Pain was etched onto my tired face and my skin was pale and dull, but there was still a steely determination in my eyes.
‘I’m getting closer, Amy,’ I muttered under my breath, as I dried my hands on the towel.
Adam was waiting for me on the landing. I hadn’t heard him follow me upstairs.
‘You startled me!’ The adrenaline was pulsing at my temples.
‘Seriously, are you all right?’ he asked. ‘You’re acting really strange tonight.’
It would be impossible to make a private phone call in this house. There
