Elaine wanted to scream, girl, are you crazy? But kept her response neutral. “Mmmhmm. Yes, I remember. I always wondered whose last name the baby would carry since y’all ain’t married.”
“Mom. C’mon. You said no judgment.”
“It’s not judgment,” Elaine said innocently as she took a sip of her tea. “Just an observation.”
“It’s almost like we are married. He’s committed. He’s loving. He’s supportive. I couldn’t ask for a better life partner, and he’s going to be a great father.”
Life partner? My daughter has been watching too much Red Table Talk. Lord. Almost being married ain’t the same thing. Elaine kept her mouth shut. “Damian is a good guy. I’ll grant you that. But I’m not following. Why do you look so sad?”
“We’re having a problem conceiving.”
“Everything happens in God’s timing. It’ll happen when it’s supposed to.” She said.
“I’m devastated.”
“Are you?” Her mom wasn’t so sure.
“What? Of course!”
“If I remember correctly, you had your doubts about getting pregnant when Damian first brought it up.”
“That was a long time ago.”
“A year is not that long ago.”
“I plan to spend the rest of my life with him, and we decided to start a family sooner rather than later.”
“Mmm,” Elaine said as she took another sip of her tea.
“Anyway, there’s a difference between timing and never having the opportunity to be a mother.”
“You’re being dramatic, Harlem.”
“No, I’m not. See . . . this is why I didn’t want to talk to you.” Harlem responded.
“Why? Because I see the truth behind the lies.” Gently, Elaine turned Harlem’s face toward hers. “In relationships, there is always give and take. You have to compromise, but it can’t be one-sided. All I see is you making the sacrifices and doing all of the compromising.”
“That’s not true.” Harlem glanced down at Snuggles. She whispered. “We both compromise.”
“Your father and I just want you to be happy. If Damian is the one who can put that special sparkle in your eyes, then I’m all for it. But I won’t pretend that I haven’t watched as you’ve passed up promotional opportunities because it wasn’t a good time for you and him. You’ve given up on the life you planned for yourself to make your relationship work.”
Harlem mumbled. “You talk as if I’m not successful. I have a great job, and I make good money. Yes, I sacrifice, but Damian sacrifices too.”
“I am very proud of your accomplishments, Harlem. But I can’t ignore all the times you’ve said you couldn’t do this or that because it wasn’t the right time in your relationship. I’m not sure I’ve ever heard the reverse. What has Damian sacrificed?”
“He’s infertile.” Harlem blurted out.
That surprised Elaine. She was genuinely shocked. Lovingly, she placed her hand on top of Harlem’s. “I’m truly sorry. When did you find out?”
“A couple of days ago. Initially, Damian was dead set against adoption or in vitro. But, he has since agreed to in vitro treatments.”
“I see.” Elaine knew there was more to the story but would wait for Harlem to tell it. “So, what’s the problem?”
“I just have a lot to process. That’s all.” Harlem conceded. She laid her head on her mom’s shoulder. “That’s why I came home.”
“This has to be tough. I can’t imagine, but honey . . .” Elaine took Harlem’s hand in hers and squeezed it. She spoke softly as she pulled Harlem into a loving embrace. “I know that Damian checks all of your boxes and plans for your life. He’s a handsome and successful black man. In your mind, you have the perfect guy, and now you want the 2.5 children, the dog, and the house with the white picket fence. But, let me tell you, life is not perfect. Sometimes things don’t always go the way we plan. It can sometimes be messy, and one must adjust. My prayer is that you figure out whatever has you hung-up and you make the best decision that is not only good for your relationship, but for you.”
Chapter 20
It was good being home for a few days. It had given Harlem some much-needed time to catch her breath and put things into perspective.
She looked around the dining room table to make sure everything was perfect. Damian had invited Carter over for dinner. I can’t believe we’re actually going to do this.
She walked into their chef’s kitchen to check on the pasta. This is crazy. Sheer madness. Harlem said to herself, “What are your options?” Do you really want to live a life without Damian? She’d asked herself that question a million times. “Could I? Yes. Do I want to? No.”
Damian walked into the kitchen as if this night wasn’t going to change their lives. “It smells good in here.” He went to wrap his arms around her waist as she stood in front of the stove, stirring the pasta sauce. Harlem side-stepped his embrace. She wasn’t in a huggy kind of mood. Harlem was angry yet trying not to be since nobody forced her to agree with his idea.
Damian let his arms drop. “We don’t have to do this.”
Harlem slammed the top of the pot down. “Don’t play games, Damian! If I want a child, this is exactly what I have to do unless I leave you and have a baby with someone else.”
Damian caged Harlem into his embrace, not allowing her to move. He spoke tenderly.
