“There is no need for you to be working on the homestead. Why are you so dead set on working out there?”
“Well, Mr. Ward, I happen to need the exercise, I enjoy the sunshine and because I want to. Why are you being such a bully?”
“Bully? I merely asked a question. You shouldn’t be working there alone.”
“Who said I was alone?” Glenn’s mouth drops open in surprise.
Savannah smothers a smile and reaches for a sleepy baby, “I’ll just lay him back down.” She hurries from the kitchen.
They ignore her as they face off. “Who have you been seeing?”
“That’s not the point, Mr. Ward.” He steps closer to her and is quietly pleased that she doesn’t back away from him.
“Dr. Parker cleared me weeks ago to return to regular activities. Which you would know if you were around more. I’ve been helping your sister.”
“It's not safe for you to be traipsing all over the countryside unescorted, Dr. Parker would agree with me.”
Anika pokes his chest and snaps, “Maybe you should see him, Glenn. It looks like you are working yourself thin.”
Glenn grabs her hand, and they both stop moving. “Did you just poke me?”
Anika’s lips curl into a small smile, “Yes, I did.”
The trust she shows humbles him. ‘I’ve missed you,’ he thinks and almost says it out loud, again.
“You've been avoiding me,” Anika murmurs and pulls her hand away. Turning away from him, he catches a glimpse of the hurt. She grabs a bowl and mixes a glaze of sugar, vanilla, and juice. Glenn moves so close behind her that she can feel the heat of his body warming hers. The pounding of his heart is thumping in his ears, and he struggles with the need to touch her. Her bravery and kindness pull at him.
“It’s better this way,” Glenn murmurs and leaves swiftly before he fails them both.
“Better for whom?” Anika doesn’t turn to watch him go, she continues working until the final pastries are baked. Two hours later after cleaning the kitchen, she finds her way to the nursery.
Widows remarry often and as quickly as possible, but she is not in the same class as the Ward family, she reminds herself. He was right about one thing, they are both broken, but she refuses to live the rest of her life in fear. With the pastor's guidance, she has been studying her Bible and attempting to heal.
Anika set the lantern down on the dresser and steps over to the walnut crib, expecting to find both boys asleep. Quinton is staring at her, and the moment she smiles at him, he grins and starts kicking his feet.
“Hi, little man,” her eyes fill with tears as she picks him up and cuddles him to her. Images of Rosie fills her mind and heart. She lets the tears flow freely as sits in the rocker to nurse him. Her tears don't seem to want to stop. Quinton sleeps as she places him gently back in his bed and repairs her dress. Moving to the window Anika stares out into the star-filled night, October is almost over, and the cold is a welcome relief. She wipes at her tear-stained cheeks and takes a deep breath, sleep will not come easy this night.
Glenn steps inside intending to apologize but finds Anika in tears. “What’s wrong?” He demands and hurries to her side.
“If you’ve come to shout at me, don’t.” She turns her face away from him and sits on the window seat.
Glenn squats down next to her, “Talk to me.”
“Rosie,” the word is laced with love and pain. Glenn bows his head to her knees as if unable to bear the sound of her name.
Anika touches his hair, running her fingers over his head and neck. Glenn looks up at her and grabs her hand gently. “Glenn, in my mind’s eye, I can imagine all her firsts. Her first smile, her first laugh, even her first fit and it torments me.”
“I understand.”
Anika glances quickly away from him. “How could you possibly understand. God blessed you with two healthy sons.”
Glenn stands up quickly and stares at her.
“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that,” she whispers swiping at her tears.
“Don’t be sorry, you’re right. I wish I could help you.” His anger boils at the thought of her in pain. “It shouldn’t be this way.”
“You help me every day, Glenn. I’m not sure I could find a better listener.”
“At least I can do that.” He sighs and stands up to leave, but her words stop him.
“You’ve done more than that, Glenn. You’ve given us a safe place to call home, restored my dreams and been a friend when I needed one. Don’t take my tears for weakness. I miss my daughter, but when I hold your sons, they make the pain more bearable.” She steps to the crib and looks down at them. Glenn joins her and smiles down at the identical dark-haired babies.
“Allen rolled over today, and Quinton is right with him.” Pride has her laughing softly, before looking up at him. “Is it wrong to love them so quickly?” She whispers.
Glenn drapes an arm around her shoulder and tugs her into his side. “No, they need your love,” and so do I, his heart says.
He presses a kiss to the side of her head and leaves quickly. “Good night, Anika.”
His anger pulses through his body forcing him from the farmhouse and into the barn. The nightmares won't leave him be. Last night Sue was holding the babies and running away from him, through a bloody field of dead soldiers. A severed hand grabbed her foot, tripping her and she fell screaming and tossing the babies into the air. He woke up shouting and covered in sweat. Glenn stomps through night to the
