“Just what does that mean?” He demands.
“Nothing,” but the tears fill her eyes and she lifts her chin in defiance.
“We don’t lie to each other, Anika,” he chides her softly.
“Things were said about me at church this morning. It would seem a lot of men want to be my ‘friend’ when you’re finished with me.” Anika tosses the cloth on the counter.
Glenn is stunned and horrified. “Finished with you?” He grabs her by her upper arms, and she senses an undercurrent of more beneath the surface. “You know better than that.”
Shame fills her soul, she bows her head and rests it on his chest. “I'm sorry, Glenn. I do know better. It was a bad day and I'm angry. I thought by getting away from the bad memories and starting over we would have a fresh start, but it's not to be.”
Glenn softens his grip and pulls her close, “I’m sorry, you shouldn’t have to experience that kind of condemnation. Who was it?”
“It doesn't matter.” Lifting her head, she stares into his eyes, “This morning I realized that I will never be free of the past. The guilt and burden I carry is mine alone. I've written a letter to seek another wet nurse for you and I mean to mail it tomorrow.” She tries to pull away, but instead of releasing her, he shakes her.
“You aren't leaving us, Anika Coltrane,” he declares loudly. “You told me once that I didn't have to carry it alone. The guilt and burden you speak about were never yours to carry. You did nothing wrong, and God is waiting for you to let it go, and so am I.” Slowly he leans in and presses a kiss to her shocked mouth. Glenn tugs her close and growls in frustration, “Please don't make me wait much longer, Anika.”
“Glenn!” she gasps. Never has she allowed herself to hope for more with him. “I, I … don’t understand,” she stammers.
“Then let me make it clear for you. I love you. I love your gentle nature, your kind spirit and your heart for God. I want to make you my wife and be a father to your daughter, but not if you are broken. The boys and I deserve a whole woman. I’ve waited for you, Anika. I’ve given you the time I thought you deserved out of respect for what you’ve been through, but I need you. When you are ready to start our lives together, let me know.” Glenn releases her and walks swiftly out of the house leaving a stunned woman behind.
Anika sinks to her knees on the kitchen floor, trembling in amazement. ‘Glenn, loves her?’ How did she miss it? ‘When your heart is full of shadow the light can’t find a way through,’ she hears in her soul. Tears of joy stream down her face and she laughs out loud.
Savannah calls from the screen door in the kitchen and enters like always. “Anika! Are you hurt?” she rushes over and helps her friend stand up. “What’s wrong, speak to me?” She exclaims.
“He loves me?” She whispers. Savannah freezes and stares at her.
“Who loves you?”
“Glenn loves me.”
Savannah laughs. “Of course, he loves you. It’s about time he told you.” Anika stares at her best friend.
“You knew?”
Savannah shrugs her shoulders. “Everyone knows, Anika.”
“What?” she gasps. “How could you not tell me, you’re supposed to be my best friend!”
“I am your best friend and that is exactly why I didn’t tell you. Some things we must figure out on our own, Anika. The question is, do you love him?” Savanah pushes her long red curls over her shoulder and sits down.
“I don’t know, Savannah. How do I trust my feelings again? I thought I loved another and…”
“And?” she prompts.
Anika turns and glances out the back door to Delaney riding a pony. She waves excitedly at her Mother, and she whispers, “And he gave me my greatest treasure.”
Savannah smiles with relief. “Exactly. If that horse kicked Delaney would you blame her or would you blame the horse,” Savannah demands?
“Neither, I would figure out why he acted out and correct the problem.”
“Right, but would you demand that she never ride again, because she might get hurt?”
Anika grins at Savannah realizing how stupid she has been. “No, I wouldn’t because we can’t live our lives in fear.” Anika can feel the chords around her heart loosening as she chooses to let the light of love inside, instead of hiding in the shadows.
“Thank you, Savannah!” she throws her arms around her and hugs her.
Glenn is in the barn brushing a horse down when he hears her behind him.
“I keep fighting voices in my head that tell me I’m not good enough to love you.”
He turns slowly to look at her.
She steps closer. “You say I am worthy, but I’m afraid, Glenn. What if I’m not strong enough? What if I fail you?”
Frustrated he pulls her close and kisses her softly.
“You could never fail me, Anika. You just must believe that God made you to love me. Believe that we don't have to go through this life alone. We can share our victories just as we have shared our sorrow. Together we can heal. Are you brave enough to love me?”
“You don’t understand, Glenn.” Her hands grip his shirt. “I’ve loved you from the first moment.” Tears stream down her cheeks, “Your loved healed me. It showed me that I’m strong when I feel weak. I believe I was made to love you, Glenn.”
Relief flows through his body and he presses his forehead to hers. “God’s mercy is beautiful, and his grace is our greatest gift. Marry me, Anika Coltrane?”
“Yes!” She laughs when he lifts her with a shout of joy
