It was just that his mother would be more interested in how a woman looked and comported herself, not in who she was down in her soul.
Kayla was one of the good ones.
“What the hell do you mean it doesn’t make sense? You’re gorgeous, Kayla. Any man would want you.”
She laughed softly. “Oh Zach, you are sweet. But it’s not really true. I’m nobody special.”
He frowned. “Yeah, you are. Never think you aren’t.”
She stared at him. He knew he looked fierce, but he wanted her to believe it.
She made a soft sound in her throat. And then she stretched up and pressed her lips to his.
Kayla’s heart throbbed. Her body trembled. He said she was special. He said it like he meant it, and she believed him. Maybe because she wanted to, but it was oh so sweet to hear.
She pressed her lips to Zach’s and heat unfurled inside her belly, melting into her body, her bones. Zach cupped her face tenderly as he kissed her back. He tasted like beer, his tongue lightly teasing, and she pressed into him a little harder, seeking more.
More heat. More Zach.
He didn’t give it to her. He held her where she was, kissing her softly, lightly. It wasn’t the desperate kiss of two months ago, the kiss that had rocked them both and sent them over the edge of sanity, ripping at clothing, touching, tasting, teasing. Joining their bodies in a sensual dance that wrecked them both.
She wanted more of that, but Zach wasn’t giving it to her. He didn’t seem in any hurry to do so.
She pulled back. “What’s wrong?”
He traced a thumb along her lower lip and her body trembled. “Nothing’s wrong, Kayla. I didn’t say you were special so you’d have sex with me tonight. I said it because it’s true.”
She dropped her gaze to the neck of his T-shirt. “I think maybe you don’t know me as well as you should. I’ve done some shitty things.”
“Tell me about them.”
Her belly flipped. “It’s a long list. You’d get sick of it before the end.”
He dragged her onto his lap, turning her so she sat across him with her legs on the couch and her bottom on his lap. He cradled her against him, and she felt safe for the first time in so long she couldn’t remember. Which was silly because all he was doing was holding her. That didn’t make her safe.
“Tell me what you want to tell me, then. I won’t judge you.”
Fear fluttered to life deep inside. “You might.”
“Honey, let me explain something to you. No matter what you’ve done, it’s probably not worse than what I’ve had to do in the line of duty. I’m not ashamed of any of it, believe me. But you’ve seen the shows on TV. You know what kind of things I do, even if the Hollywood version isn’t the real story. Unless you’ve done stuff like that, then don’t fear telling me anything.”
Kayla sucked in a breath. Then she put her head against his shoulder, taking comfort in the solidity of his presence. “I never killed anyone, if that’s what you mean. But I turned a blind eye to things when I should have known better. The Kings—God, they don’t deserve to be called kings of anything.” She gritted her teeth. “They were traffickers. Sex and drugs. They lured girls in. Runaways, rebels, addicts. They lured me in.”
She hated admitting that, but it was true. James had lured her as surely as if he’d hooked a fish.
“It’s not your fault.”
“I’m trying to remember that. But I feel so stupid. James paid attention to me when nobody else would. He was nice, attentive. He didn’t grab my ass or catcall me.”
“You worked at Buddy’s Bar for a while.”
Her heart thumped. “I did. Do you remember me?”
“I remember you had shorter hair then. And you called yourself Harley.”
She was surprised he remembered her. Most of the guys hadn’t. Even Alexei hadn’t until Bailey had shown him a picture. A blush crawled up her neck as she thought of who she’d been then. How clueless and naïve.
“I rarely waited on you guys. The waitresses with seniority wanted the SEALs, but a couple of times I helped out. Alexei was nice to me. You already know that I lied and said Ana was his when she wasn’t. I did it because he helped me once when a customer stiffed me on a bill. I needed to pull a name out of thin air to give to Bailey when I ran away again, and his was the one I thought of.”
“I know, honey. I don’t think either of them blame you for it.”
“No, I don’t think they do either. But I still feel badly about it. It was stupid and selfish of me.”
“Selfish? You were trying to protect Ana and doing the best you could. That’s not selfish.”
“I could have told someone what was happening. I probably should have.”
“Maybe so. But you made the choice you made. Maybe it wasn’t the best choice, but leaving Ana with Bailey is what got her and Camel together. If you hadn’t done that, they might not have met. All you can do is learn from mistakes and try to make better choices in the future. That’s all any of us can do.”
“I’ve tried to learn from my mistakes. And I realize that refusing to tell Bailey what’s going on might fall under the category of didn’t learn a thing, but instead of leaving her to deal with a tough situation like last time, I’m trying to deal with it and fix it without it affecting her this time.”
“Yeah, I get that.”
Kayla leaned back and blew out a breath. “Last time, Bailey got hurt because of me. I can’t let that happen again. And I
