Zach’s grip on her tightened a fraction. “I’d rather you didn’t.”
She met his light green gaze. So gorgeous, this man. It felt good to have him on her side.
“I don’t intend to. But I won’t let my actions cause trouble and pain for those I love again. Not if I can help it.”
“You can’t blame yourself for what Dunn did to your sister. If he’d gotten you and Ana, he’d have sold her. And you probably wouldn’t have escaped again.”
Kayla shuddered. She knew what would have happened to her. It wouldn’t have been pretty.
“No, I’d either be addicted to drugs and pimped out to as many men as I could handle in a day, or I’d be dead. That’s what they did to girls. And I deliberately didn’t examine it too deeply so I wouldn’t know.”
Zach sighed and pressed his lips to her forehead. “Kayla, honey. You were—are—young. And you were scared. You were also pregnant. You had a baby to worry about, and a man who was telling you everything was fine, am I right?”
“Yes,” she whispered. “It was a motorcycle club. A family, he said. There were old ladies and club whores, and the whores wanted to be old ladies. I was an old lady and I was lucky. That’s what James said. He said the club whores weren’t as good as the old ladies. They were paid for sex, and some of them were addicts looking for their fix. I was supposed to be above all that. I was his property, cherished, marked so the others would know they shouldn’t fuck with me.”
“The tattoo on your back.”
“You mean the tramp stamp. I hate it. I’m going to get rid of it someday.”
Of course he’d seen her tattoo. She’d known he had when they had sex that night, but they’d never talked about it. Hell, they’d never talked about much of anything after that night.
Her fault because she’d run away.
Again.
No more. She was tired of running.
“You can do that anytime. I’ll help you get it done.”
Her heart flipped. “It’s expensive. And it’s not your problem. It’s mine.”
“Baby, when are you gonna understand? We’re getting married. That makes it my problem. If you hate it, we’ll get it removed. Or covered. Whatever you prefer. One of the guys at work is married to a tattoo artist. Her name’s Eva, and she used to ink for a motorcycle club. She could probably cover it if you wanted to go that route.”
“Really? Wow.”
The stamp wasn’t too big, thankfully. It was a skull and crossbones in gray and white with the letters K.O.D. inked above the design. She’d felt so wicked getting it, and then she’d grown to hate it. She’d never thought of covering it up before. She’d always wanted it gone, but maybe a redesign was something to consider.
“Yeah. I’ve seen her work. It’s good. I’ve been planning to get something new myself, but haven’t gotten around to it yet. We could go see her together if you want. It’s one option. Doesn’t hurt to see what she says.”
“That would be great.”
He ran a palm up her arm, down again. “Any other shitty things you did that you want to tell me?”
“You don’t think that’s shitty enough? Lying about who Ana’s father was, leaving her with my sister without telling her where I was going, suspecting the Kings of Doom were far worse than they seemed and blissfully ignoring the evidence? Oh, and I lied about my identity and I dropped off the face of the earth and didn’t contact Bailey for months while she was worried sick about me. She didn’t even know I’d had a baby until I showed up on her doorstep and dropped her niece in her lap.”
Kayla’s throat ached and her eyes stung. Zach stroked her hair, cradled her tenderly, and the tears built inside until she had to gulp them down or never stop crying.
“You were a twenty-one year old girl who listened to a man’s lies. You did the best you could while pregnant and cut off from your family. You made mistakes, but you didn’t give up. And you fought for your baby when you realized what Dunn intended. You aren’t a terrible person, Kayla. You’re brave. I think you did a fucking amazing job of getting out of that situation. I’ve watched you with Ana, and I think you’re a great mom. You’re fierce and determined, and you’d sacrifice yourself in a second if you thought it would save her.”
Kayla sucked in a breath and squeezed her eyes shut. What the hell was he doing to her? He made her tremble inside, and he made her look at things in a different light. Was she brave? She didn’t feel brave when she’d banged on his door a few nights ago and begged him to marry her and keep her and Ana safe. She’d felt like a lost little girl searching for someone to hand all her burdens to. Giving up responsibility as usual.
“You don’t know what you’re saying,” she whispered.
“Yeah, I do. Stop beating yourself up, Kayla. Give yourself credit for being the fierce mama bear you are.”
The ache in her heart was intense, but it wasn’t a terrible ache. It was an ache that spoke of strong emotion and gratitude. For this man.
Zach Anderson said things to her that no one else had said. It was like he saw deep inside her and pulled out the shiny parts. The golden, happy parts. She adored him for it even while she wasn’t entirely sure she believed him. Maybe he was the kind of guy who saw the good in everyone, or maybe he knew exactly what he was doing and said what she needed to hear when she needed to hear it, whether or not it was true.
Like James had, though he’d never actually seen this deeply into
