“This good?” I asked, mainly so he wouldn’t think I was crazy when we hit the bank.
Dylan nodded and pulled his paddle onto his lap. I grounded the boat and jumped into water up to the top of my thighs. Dylan did the same, but the water only went up to his calves. Sometimes being short means getting more wet. We pulled the kayak onto the shore. Dylan grabbed the cooler. We walked across the small gravel bank to the treeline where a small patch of grass grew in the shade.
“Too bad we didn’t bring a blanket,” he said.
“We didn’t exactly plan this.” I sat on the edge of the trees. “It’s nice back here anyway.”
“Next time we’ll do better,” he said, sitting beside me.
Next time? As much as I hated it, my heart leapt into my throat. There might be a next time, Cam, but it’ll be as friends. Remember that.
I took out the sandwiches and water bottles, handing Dylan his. Stretching out my legs, I leaned against a small boulder. It didn’t feel great on my back, but it wasn’t entirely uncomfortable either. Dylan sat cross-legged beside me, his knee brushing against my thigh.
“You do this a lot?” Dylan asked in between bites of his ham and cheese.
“Not as often as I’d like, to be honest. Jack’s fair, but it still costs money.” I opened my water bottle. “Hiking’s free.”
“I’m sure Brady would let you kayak for free if you played your cards right,” Dylan said, a tinge of bitterness in his voice.
I stopped before the water bottle hit my lips. “What’re you talking about?”
“You can’t tell me you didn’t notice?” He stared at me with wide, unbelieving eyes. I shrugged my shoulders. “Jesus, Cam, if he flirted with you anymore, he would’ve been down on one knee.”
I scrunched my nose. “You’re delusional.”
“I did not imagine him checking out your ass.” Dylan rolled his eyes, but it didn’t hide his irritation. “Or your legs or your chest, or any other part of your body.”
I dropped my empty water bottle back into the cooler and stood. “I call bullshit. Brady’s never once asked me out.” I stretched my arms high above my head, enjoying the way my muscles ached in relief. “I’m not his type. I’m not most people’s type.”
“Now I call bullshit,” Dylan said.
I turned around and stepped toward the lake. He’d stood and was inches behind me. I raised an eyebrow, but I didn’t face him.
“You can’t tell me you’ve never had a boyfriend,” Dylan said.
“This is so not the conversation I expected. But, yes, I’ve had a boyfriend. We dated. He dumped me, end of story. Nobody since. I’m not a perfect little angel.”
Dylan’s arm wrapped around my waist, pulled me back against him. “Don’t think those high school boys didn’t find you sexy as hell. They were probably too chickenshit to ask you out. The way that Brady guy stared at you, I guarantee he’s not the only one who’s ever looked at you like that.”
“Like what?” I whispered. I put my hands over his arm.
Dylan’s hot breath kissed my ear. “Like he wants to get you naked in his boat.”
“You don’t look at me like that,” I pointed out.
“Jesus, you are blind.” Dylan spun me around. His lips found mine before I could steady myself.
I sunk into the kiss. Dylan’s arms were the only thing keeping me from melting into the ground. His tongue danced around mine, teasing and hungry. My fingers dug into his hips. The harder he kissed me, the tighter I pulled him closer. All thoughts disappeared from my head. The only thing I could think of was yes. Dylan’s hand moved up my back and lifted my shirt. A moan slipped from my mouth.
Then his lips were gone.
“We have to stop,” he said, resting his forehead against mine. “I can’t.”
“You can’t kiss me?” I asked, wishing like hell he’d do it again.
“I won’t stop.” He stepped back, face flushed and fist clenched.
“What if I don’t want you to?” I whispered. As much as I wanted to close the gap and reclaim him, I kept my distance. He stopped for a reason. He had to be the one to make another move.
“It’s not that easy, Cameron.” Dylan glanced down at the gravely bank for several minutes before meeting my stare. “You have no idea how much I want... but I can’t. I told you why. If I quit on myself, I’ve fucked everything up again. I intend to keep this promise. I need to keep it.”
I put my hands behind my back and nodded. Did I understand? Not even a little, but I had to respect that. No means no, regardless of gender. We stood in silence. I watched my feet shuffle across the rocks as I moved toward the picnic. After gathering the trash, I walked toward the kayak.
“We should go,” I said without looking at him. If only I could avoid looking at him the rest of way back to Jack’s. Or the rest of the way home. I needed time to think and sort this out. He didn’t reject me, but he rejected the idea of anyone.
That didn’t stop it from hurting though.
CHAPTER TWENTY
By the time we made it back to the dock, I’d made a decision. It was so simple really. I was a little angry at myself for not thinking of it sooner. I’d just pretend that he never kissed me, that my insides hadn’t melted, that I hadn’t wanted to have his hands touch me in places the sun never saw. Easier said than done, but that was what Dylan wanted.
“Hey, Cami,” Brady said as we cruised up to the dock. “How’s the water?”
“Great,” I said, forcing the joviality in my voice. “Got a lot of boats still out?”
“Couple of kayaks and a canoe. Should be back soon.” Brady glanced at his watch, then Dylan. “You should hang out. Dad’s smoking some bass.”
Dylan slipped as he climbed out of the kayak, but he caught
