“Um, thanks.” I answered. “Maybe next time. Dad’s expecting me at home.”
“Yeah, okay. Tell your dad I said hey.” Brady grabbed the cooler and handed it over. His fingers brushed against mine.
“You know, buddy,” Dylan said, stepping in between us. “You could not hit on her when she’s with me.”
Brady glanced at me then at Dylan. “I only told her to say hi to her dad.”
“Uh-huh, after you asked her to stay for dinner. After you molested her with your eyes.” Dylan shook his head. “You could’ve at least waiting until I was out of earshot.”
Brady opened his mouth, but I was having none of this bullshit.
“Just stop, Dylan. Brady and I are friends.” I stared Brady in the eye. “Right?”
Brady swallowed. “Right.”
“See?” I grabbed his arm and pulled him away from the dock. Over my shoulder, I said goodbye to Brady. Yeah, maybe he had been flirting with me, but Dylan didn’t need to be an asshole about it. I didn’t drop Dylan’s arm until we were at the car. Then I turned on him, jamming my finger into his chest until his back was pressed against the door. “You had no right to be an asshole. Brady’s harmless, and we’re just friends. Same as you and me.”
“Friends?” Dylan reached out and touched my cheek. “Is that what we are?”
“According to you, that’s all we can be.” I leaned against his palm. “Or did you forget what you said twenty minutes ago?”
Dylan smiled sadly. “I didn’t forget.” His thumb drifted over my lower lip before he dropped his hand. “And you’re right. I was an asshole. For that, I’m sorry. But I’m not sorry, too. Brady hit on you right in front of me. That’s a clear violation of the bro code.”
“Oh please tell me you didn’t just use that phrase.” I crossed my arms and rolled my eyes.
“I did and I stand by it.” Dylan stood straight and stared into my eyes. “I can’t be just a friend to you, Cam. I don’t want that.”
“What do you want then? Because I’m confused here.” I squeezed my arms tight against my body. “You say one thing, do another, then say something completely different.”
“I know.” He closed his eyes and tilted his head back. “I’m fucked.”
No shit. I kept my mouth shut and waited for Dylan to come back to this world. His lips moved, but he said nothing. At least that’s what I thought until I leaned in and heard “hallowed be thy name”. He recited The Lord’s Prayer. When he finished, he lowered his head and met my eyes.
“Sorry, I’m... hoping for some guidance.” Dylan pulled the keys from his pocket and unlocked the doors. “Let’s go back to my place and play. That helps clear my head.”
I let my arms fall beside me. Music cleared my head, too.
Dylan cranked Cash on the way to his place. I stared out the window, singing along. This was easier. This was what I knew. This was what I needed to focus on. I fingered the pages in my bag. I wanted to share this with him, and now I wasn’t so sure. It was a piece of me. Dylan had went on a roller coaster today and taken me with him. I didn’t want to get back on that train anytime soon.
He parked in the driveway, but he didn’t get out.
“I can take you home, if you want.” He tapped his fingers against his knees and stared out the windshield. “I’ll understand if you don’t want anything to do with me.”
I closed my eyes. Hadn’t I just been thinking the same thing? Hearing him say it was a knife to my chest. I didn’t want him out of my life, but I didn’t want crazy Dylan in it either.
“I shouldn’t have kissed you,” he said.
Another stab. This one going deeper than the last.
“I should’ve had more control. I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be,” I said without thinking. I opened my eyes and turned toward him. He didn’t look at me so I reached out and forced him to. Tears rimmed his eyes. “I’m not sorry you kissed me. It was ...” I searched for the right word, but there wasn’t one. “More than I could ever hope for? I don’t know how to describe it. It was like hearing a song for the first time and knowing it’s your song. I don’t regret it, and neither should you. But if you can’t do it again, we need to move ahead as friends and nothing more.”
“I don’t want to be your friend, Cam,” he said. “I want to be so much more, but I can’t fail myself. Don’t you understand that? I... can’t fail again. I’m trying to take control, regain things I’ve lost, and figure out where I’m going. That was the reason for this show. Dad wants to find his former glory, and I want to figure out my future glory. If I lose myself, I’ll lose myself with you.”
“What if you find yourself with me?” I asked.
Dylan smiled and turned to kiss my palm.
“What if we find ourselves together?” I reached out with my other hand and put it on his shoulder. “I only know one thing for sure, Dylan, and that’s I’m going to sing. I don’t know what. I don’t know where. I don’t know if I’ll be in a band or solo or singing somewhere in a bar. But I’m going to spend the rest of my life making music. The rest, that’s just details.”
Dylan leaned across the console and pressed his lips to mine. “What if I’m the one thing that stops that from happening?”
“What if you’re the reason I make it?”
He kissed me again, slowly. I reveled in