Unable to look at him or breathe the same air as him a second longer, Helena turned on her heel and fled. She needed to get as far away from Theo as quickly as she could and to hell with dignity and pride.
Running as fast as her legs would carry her, she soon left the perimeter of the lodge and the safety of its nightlights and was plunged into darkness. She didn’t care. Let the darkness of the moonless night take her where it wanted. Nothing could be worse than the pain she was feeling now.
How could Theo have done this? And for what purpose? Why?
Pebbles crunched beneath her feet as she ran the dirt trail that stretched to the small harbour. Wildly, she thought of jumping into the rowing boat and sailing to Sidiro.
Oh, God, please, never let her have to face him again. She couldn’t.
Everything they’d shared this past month, all the tenderness that had developed between them, all the laughter, all the joy, it had all been a lie. She had let Theo back into her heart and it had been a lie.
She had no idea how long she’d been running when the burn in her thighs and lungs forced her to stop. Doubling over and putting her hands on her knees to keep herself upright, she tried to catch her breath.
‘Helena!’ Theo’s voice bellowed out of nowhere.
He’d followed her.
Panic pulled her into its grip. She dragged as much air through her ragged throat as she could. She needed to get moving before he caught her...
‘Helena!’ The bellow was closer. A light emerged through the darkness. ‘Please, matia mou, come back. It’s too dark. It isn’t safe.’
His distinctive footsteps drew nearer. The light got brighter. Either side of the trail were low, prickly bushes and rocks of differing sizes. There was nowhere to hide.
‘Leave me alone!’ she finally managed to croak. Her legs were trembling too hard for her to take another step.
And then, when the light hit her, the footsteps stopped.
His distant form behind it was little more than a shimmer.
‘Helena...’ His voice was shakier than she had ever heard it. It carried through the night sky. ‘I’m sorry. I wish I could say I never intended to hurt you but I did. God forgive me, I wanted to hurt you in exactly the way you hurt me.’
Her legs finally giving up on her, Helena crouched down onto her haunches and covered her ears. His voice still penetrated.
‘You think I moved on with my life...’ She heard a long intake of breath. ‘There has been no one else. I couldn’t.’ A mirthless laugh. ‘I was basically impotent. I blamed you for emasculating me but it was much worse than that. I’d bound my heart to you so tightly my body is incapable of switching on for anyone else. All those women you saw me with...it was all a front. Another lie. I never stopped loving you. I missed you every single minute we were apart.’
She pressed her hands even tighter to her ears. She didn’t want to hear this. No more lies. She couldn’t bear it.
But still his voice sounded through the barriers of her hands.
‘You asked why I didn’t go through with my plan to humiliate you. I couldn’t. It wasn’t a change of heart. More an awakening. Much as it pains me to admit this, matia mou, you were right to leave me. I am a control freak when it comes to you. Even the years we were apart I kept tabs on your career. I told myself it was because I was biding my time for the perfect opportunity to strike, but it was because I needed the reassurance that you were okay.’ His voice dropped to a whisper. ‘That you were safe.’
Silence stretched out.
Only when his voice rang out again, stronger, did Helena realise she’d lowered her hands.
‘You are the only person I’ve let into my heart since my parents died. I was so scared of losing you like I lost them that I suffocated you. I was so desperate to make you mine and tie you to me for ever that I steamrollered you into the wedding.’ Another pained laugh. ‘I refused to believe you had gone. I stood at that altar waiting for you even though I knew damn well you were already back in England. I was in complete denial. When the reality of the situation sank in, I lost my mind. I see that now.’
He sighed. ‘Please don’t think I’m making excuses or putting the blame for my actions on my parents’ death because I’m not. Even if they had lived I would be greedy and possessive of you. I take full responsibility. It’s all on me. I want you to know all this because you deserve the truth. I owe you that much.’ His voice faded into silence.
The flashlight moved in the blackness and was laid on the ground.
‘I’m going back to the lodge now,’ he said through the blackness. ‘I’ll leave my phone for you so you can see your way back.’
His footsteps crunched away and then stopped again.
‘I have behaved appallingly. I don’t expect your forgiveness but I really am sorry, matia mou. I promise I will leave you to get on with your life in peace, but please, I beg you, live it.’
Only when the crunching of Theo’s footsteps faded into nothing did Helena’s bottom hit the ground.
Deep inside her, something sharp and acrid roiled violently and rose within her until it reached her throat, escaping from her mouth as a desolate scream.
Curling herself into a ball on the dirt trail, she wept until there were no tears left to cry.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
THE MOMENT THEO’S eyes opened, memories of the previous night flooded in.
He squeezed them back shut. The memories refused to shift. Nausea washed through him.
Not bothering to shower, he threw on a pair of shorts and a T-shirt
