‘Quite right, Matron Holt,’ Ginny replied, and Constance glimpsed the matron’s mean little smile once more as she came to a halt outside a room. The door was shut, but the sounds of laughter drifted under the gap beneath it. That was heartening, Constance thought, her eyes meeting Ginny’s reassuring gaze as she wondered who was on the other side of the door.
‘This is the recreation room. The girls are having their morning break, so it’s a good time to introduce you to them, Constance.’ She opened the door into a high ceilinged room flooded with light which was a relief after the gloom of the stairwell and hallway. The room was scantily furnished with a trestle table in the middle of it. Girls who weren’t much older than Constance were seated around it. A few of them were engaged in a game of cards while others were just sitting talking, cigarettes dangling from their fingers. A haze of smoke was trapped in the rays of sunlight streaming in through the windows; it had settled over the top of their heads. The chatter died as Matron Holt appeared. One of the girls reminded Constance of Myrtle from the factory, and she looked away as she met her gaze with a hardened, and defiant stare. She would not fit in here, Constance thought. These girls might be of a similar age to her, but she could tell they had a toughness about them that she lacked.
‘Girls, this is Constance. She’s from Wight.’
One or two of the girls smiled over, but most just eyed her warily.
‘Five minutes and back to your posts please. The laundry won’t wash itself, and the sandwiches won’t get cut on their own.’ She turned away, and Constance spotted several of the girls rolling their eyes.
‘Constance, I’ll show you up to your room in order for you to settle yourself in before lunch.’
Ginny and Constance dutifully followed behind her.
Her room had an iron bedstead in each corner. All the beds were neatly made, and there was a wardrobe at either end.
‘I’ll leave you now to unpack your things, Constance. Mrs Downer, perhaps you’d like to say your goodbyes and let young Constance unpack her things. Now, now, no tears.’
Constance gulped and swiped at her cheeks. Ginny pulled her into a hug. ‘You’ll be all right Constance. I’ll be back to visit you on Wednesday. The time will whizz by, and you’ll make friends of the girls you’ll see.’ The girls were allowed visitors on a Wednesday and Saturday afternoon.
‘Quite right,” Matron said. ‘Mrs Downer?’ She waited for Ginny to follow her lead and as they left the room, Constance heard matron say, ‘I find drawn out goodbyes don’t do anyone any good.’
Constance perched on the edge of her bed with her little brown case beside her and sobbed.
Chapter 41
‘Saint Augustine’s was a horrible place, Isabel. It was damp and draughty, and the nurses weren’t kind,’ Constance lamented her voice etched with tiredness, as the shadows from the ruins began to stretch long. ‘I did make friends though despite my initial misgivings. That you should never judge a book by its cover is one thing I learned during my time there too. Those girls who’d seemed so worldly compared to me were nothing more than heartbroken children once you cracked their hardened veneers. We were all in the same boat, and we were all terrified of what was to come with our babies birth. Nobody told us anything, and the only knowledge I had was from listening to Ginny’s labour. Oh yes, we were scared all right. Funnily enough, it was the girl who’d reminded me of Myrtle from the factory where I worked in Cowes that I grew closest to.’
Isabel picked another daisy to add to her lengthening chain and stayed silent not wishing to interrupt until Constance’s story had reached its conclusion.
‘Her name was Francis, and she had a baby girl a month or two before I had Teddy. The bonniest little thing she was too and born with a full head of hair. Francis called her Mary, and then one day Matron Holt came to the nursery and said it was time for baby to go. That was that; she took Mary away, and we watched from the nursery window as a smartly dressed couple arrived in a shiny Rover and drove off with her. It broke Franciss’ heart. Teddy arrived with a roar and a lot of bother on my behalf a few days after that, but by then Francis was gone too.
‘We didn’t keep in touch after we left the home. Neither of us wanted to be reminded of our time there. Sometimes, I can still hear the girls I shared my room with crying when I close my eyes because not a single night passed at Saint Augustine’s without one of us crying ourselves to sleep.’ Constance shook her head still lost in another time. ‘Come Sunday we’d be marched in an alligator line to church, so as all and sundry knew us as the girls from the local home. They worked us to the bone too. One of the girls said it helped keep us flexible, made the birth easier but I think that place would have fallen down around our ears if it weren’t for us girls keeping things running.’
Constance’s body trembled even now with indignation at the memory of it, and her words faltered while she regained a modicum of equilibrium. ‘I made Teddy a baby box when I was waiting for him to arrive. I covered the box with the prettiest of yellow wrapping paper and put a blanket I made for him along with a little white cardigan and booties I knitted for him in it. He wouldn’t have wanted
