Her face held a flicker of fear. ‘And what of our agreement? Do you intend to go back on your word?’
‘I will spare his life,’ Alarr answered. ‘But after all he has done, he must face the consequences.’ At the very least, he wanted to wound Feann, to make him understand how he had suffered. His anger rose hotter, and in this he would not yield.
Her face grew troubled. ‘Anything you do will not change the past. And while I will ensure that he pays you corp-dire, that is all we can do.’
‘I don’t want blood money for what he did.’ He didn’t bother to hide the edge of his rage. And Breanne took a step backwards, wary of his mood. She could never understand his anger, and there was nothing he could say to change that.
‘Alarr, there are better ways to gain your vengeance,’ she said softly. ‘I don’t want you to endanger yourself.’
Though he supposed she was trying to show him that she cared, it made him realise that she had no faith in his fighting skills. And why should she? He had nearly failed her once before. Though he tried to push away his resentment, he was starting to see the truth. Though he desired this woman and wanted to be with her, she deserved better. One day, she might face a threat, and if he were unable to defend her, he could never forgive himself.
She had spoken of sailing away from her homeland, never to return. But she didn’t belong in Maerr any more than he belonged in Éireann. It was wrong to ask her to stay with him. And when she rested her cheek upon his heart and embraced him, the guilt only deepened.
If you truly cared for her, you would let her go, his conscience warned.
And though the very idea caused a wrenching ache inside, he knew it was the right thing to do.
‘Breanne, I think you should know the truth about what happened when you were taken from Feann as a slave. I owe you that much.’
‘Go on.’ In her green eyes, he saw compassion. She would despise him afterwards, but he could not keep it from her. Breanne deserved to know everything. And so, he started at the beginning.
‘I travelled to Killcobar and watched Feann for a time. I realised that I could never get into the fortress without a good reason. And when I saw you, I saw an opportunity.’ He stood and turned away from her, gathering his thoughts. ‘I bribed one of your father’s men to take you from Killcobar. I wanted him to imprison you and bring you to me. Then I planned to use you to get close to Feann.’
‘But Feann had already left in secret.’
He nodded. ‘I didn’t realise it at the time.’ Which was fortunate for the king, since it would have been a simple matter to end Feann’s life, if he had caught him.
Breanne’s expression grew clouded. ‘I never saw the soldier’s face. He blindfolded me and gagged me on the night I was taken. It was in the middle of the night, and he sold me to the traders before dawn. I don’t even know who it was.’ Her mouth pressed into a tight line when she confronted him. ‘If you paid him to take me, why didn’t you rescue me from the slavers sooner? Why would you allow them to hold me captive for so long?’
Her accusation only deepened the burden of guilt. He knew he should have kept a closer eye upon her. ‘It took some time before I discovered your whereabouts,’ Alarr admitted. ‘I didn’t know he’d sold you. I thought he was holding you somewhere for ransom.’
Her gaze never wavered, the resentment filling up her expression. ‘How did you find him?’
‘He went hunting boar with a group of men. I separated him from the others and...questioned him.’ After he’d learned of the man’s betrayal, Alarr had shown no mercy. ‘It took another day to track where the slavers had taken you.’
Her face winced when she realised what he was implying. ‘Is he dead now?’
Alarr gave a nod. ‘The others thought he was hurt by the boar. I made certain his injuries appeared accidental.’ He held no regret for what he’d done. Any man who would sell the king’s foster daughter into slavery deserved to die.
Then he continued. ‘We tracked you to Áth Cliath, and I intended to outbid any man who tried to buy you. But then, you tried to escape.’ He crossed his arms and said, ‘You already know the rest.’
For a time, she remained quiet. ‘So, you were the reason I was taken from Killcobar.’
‘Yes.’ He refused to deny the role he had played. ‘I don’t want you to think of me as the man who saved you. I was the man who caused your suffering.’ He remained apart from her and confessed, ‘It was my fault.’
She didn’t move but clenched her hands together. Her expression held doubts. ‘I need time to think, Alarr.’
He could see the uncertainty in her eyes, but he said, ‘You deserve the truth, Breanne. I cannot pretend to be a good man. I’m not.’
‘And you told me this, because you want me to hate you,’ she finished. ‘So you can walk away from me and it will be easier for you to end what is between us.’ Her green eyes turned stormy. ‘You don’t want me to go back to your homeland.’
He didn’t argue with her. It was better to break the fragile bond between them and let her go. Then she could be free to love a man
