‘You should hate me,’ he agreed. ‘I paid to have you taken from your home, and I stole your innocence.’
‘No.’ She crossed her arms as if to ward off his words. ‘I gave you my innocence.’ A flush suffused her cheeks, and she confessed, ‘I am glad it was you.’
He didn’t know how to respond to that, so he answered, ‘You were trying to save Feann’s life. I had no right to claim you.’
Her anger rose up higher, her face scarlet with anger. ‘Do you truly believe that was the reason? Do you deny that there are feelings between us?’
Her words stopped him cold, for he hadn’t wanted to believe it. He didn’t want ties that bound him to this life. He had sailed this far for vengeance, fully intending to sacrifice himself. As a scarred, wounded man, he had no value as a warrior.
But Breanne was undermining his plans. When he looked upon her face, he saw a woman who captivated him. She had woven her way into his life without him realising it. And when he made love to her, she made him feel as if there was nowhere else he’d rather be, save in her arms. He craved her, and it was killing him to be apart from her at night.
Yet he knew he could not give her the life she needed. He did care about her, and for that reason, it was best to let her go.
‘We don’t belong together,’ he answered. ‘Once I have settled the matter of my father’s death, I will return to Maerr alone.’
Tears rose up in her eyes, and he felt like an utter bastard for hurting her. ‘So you’ll just avenge yourself against my foster father and leave me behind.’
He avoided answering her, but admitted, ‘I intend to question him first. Feann claims that he did not kill Sigurd. I need to know who did. Whether it was Wilfrid or someone else.’
She took a breath, shielding her emotions. ‘And once you have your answers, you will go.’
‘If I survive the fight, yes.’
She waited for a time, choosing her words carefully. ‘I think you’re afraid to stay. You always planned to end your life while bringing Feann down. You would rather die than face a life where you are not the man you once were.’ She shook her head in disbelief. ‘But you are so much more. Your wounds made you into the man I care about.’
Her words were a sharp blade, cutting into his heart. She was right, that he had never intended to survive the fight against Feann. Nor had he intended to intertwine his days with Breanne. For the first time in years, he found that he had someone to live for—and yet, he didn’t feel that he had earned that right.
Even so, he wanted her. From the moment he awakened with her beside him, to the moment he lay down to sleep, she filled the emptiness inside him. But if he admitted his feelings, it weakened him. He had sailed across the sea for vengeance—not to fall in love and allow Feann to escape with no consequences. He had no right to seek his own happiness, especially when he had not achieved his goal of punishing Feann.
Breanne moved in closer, regarding him. She rested her hands upon his heart, and the touch of her fingers blazed through him. ‘Look into my eyes and tell me you want to leave. That you don’t care about me.’
He knew she wanted a life he couldn’t give to her, but he took her hands in his. ‘I cannot stay here, Breanne.’
She released his hands, and he could see her trying to regain her composure. ‘Then I don’t have a choice any more.’ Her voice grew softer, more vulnerable. ‘I’m not going to stand aside and let others decide my fate.’
‘What are you going to do?’
Her green eyes were filled with tears, but she said, ‘I’m going to return to my mother. And then I won’t have to watch you fight the only father I’ve ever known.’
Chapter Ten
They did not dine with Feann that night, as Rurik did, but instead took food to share in Alarr’s shelter. Rurik had wisely left them alone, and Breanne had been careful to slip into the shelter unnoticed. Her heart was raw with unspoken pain. A part of her had hoped that Alarr would argue with her and try to stop her from leaving. But he had said nothing at all.
Now, more than ever, it was clear that his vengeance meant more than his feelings for her. And there was nothing she could do to change his mind.
‘When will you go?’ he asked.
‘At dawn. I will take my mother’s guards back with me.’ She now understood why Treasa had insisted that the men remain with her. It gave her a means of protection on the journey back to Dún Bolg.
‘Good.’ Alarr’s tone was dull, devoid of emotion. ‘It’s better this way, Breanne. I will fight Feann on the morrow, after you’re gone. He consented to the match.’
His statement took her by surprise. ‘Alarr, why would Feann agree to this? What could he hope to gain?’ She knew his guards could cut Alarr down in moments, without warning. There was no reason for her foster father to seek one-on-one combat.
‘Because he wanted to defend your honour.’
She winced, for it meant Feann was fully aware that she had given her body to Alarr. ‘You told him about us?’ These past few days, she had been careful to sleep alone to suppress idle tongues.
‘He guessed the truth. I didn’t deny it.’
A sudden fear took hold of her at the thought of them battling against one another. She couldn’t bear to be caught in the middle any more. ‘And you think this will somehow grant you the vengeance you seek? Will you hurt him?’
‘If he doesn’t defend himself, then yes. I won’t hesitate to wound him. We will fight until the other can
