Words he never imagined followed.
"Don't blame your father."
He watched as her chest shuddered as if it hurt to breathe.
"Mom, of course I am blaming him. It's not like you did this yourself."
She tried to nod and winced instead.
"No. Well. Yes. He did. You can't blame him though."
Kian got up to leave. He didn't need to hear it all again.
"No. Kian. Wait. Please."
Against his instinct, he sat down. "Fine. What mom? I didn't come here to listen to another defense. He lost that years ago."
"Kian. Try and understand. I wasn't ever meant to be his mate. I love him, do not get me wrong. I loved him a lot, and when I got pregnant he did the right thing and married me. I was never his mate though. I couldn't control his animal side. I couldn't control the instincts and when I tried to, I knew he wasn't ever going to be a docile creature."
Kian studied the bed, then the room. Should he leave? Instead his nervous energy had him pacing. He tried to push the look on Raine's face out, but behind his eyelids her broken smile remained. He tried to swallow past the lump in his throat, the ache making him feel as if he would suffocate.
His mom's words were tiny pins pushed in one by one; the sting getting worse at the reminder that he had found his mate. His true mate and yet he still couldn't let himself have her. The fear he'd hurt her, the fear he'd be his dad, and worse the fear she'd end up broken like his mom.
"Kian. Are you listening to me?"
"I. Yeah. Mom. Sorry," was all he said.
"Kian, who is she?"
He turned his head side to side and saw nothing. "Who is who?"
His mom smiled.
"You didn't walk in here like a bat out of hell. You didn't threaten to kill someone. I didn't even hear any yelling in the halls. Who's the woman who tamed you?"
The room was too small. His body vibrated with the need to escape. Instead, he bit down on his lip, the pain helping focus his restlessness. "There is no she."
His mom's eyes closed and she mumbled. "Yes there is, Kian. You are the way your father should have been. Don't lose her. Whoever she is."
She yawned as a nurse came in. "Sir? Another couple of minutes and then she needs her rest. The pain meds should be kicking in."
Kian looked between the nurse and his mom.
"Yeah. Of course."
"Kian. Before you go, just know you were right."
He couldn't breathe. The air must have slowly been removed from the room. Each word, each sentence she said had him questioning everything he thought he knew. He gasped trying to fill his lungs against the burn. Finally as seconds passed, he finally remembered just how to shove air into his body.
"What?" he uttered.
Her voice, a whisper just above the beeping of machines, and the hum of air, "you were right. Your father is a bastard, but it's only because he never found his true mate. You are a good boy Kian. Don't let her go. She will bring out the best in you. I'm sorry."
He wasn't good. He'd just sent Raine away. He'd just lost the one thing his soul needed. He needed.
His mother’s words should have left him feeling something. Maybe relieved for once? He didn't know. The room suddenly seemed small and suffocating.
He couldn't catch a breath. He'd sent Raine away.
"I. Mom. I'll come back tomorrow. You sleep." Slowly he backed out, his mother already snoring. As he hit the doorjamb, he turned and questioned what to do. His mind spinning at what he had just done. Pausing, he reached for his phone.
He needed out. He needed Raine. He dialed her, praying to catch her before she left.
The phone rang as he took the stairs two by two. He wasn't surprised when it went straight to voice-mail.
Should he just keep calling until she answered? Should he go see her? His body shook with need. He needed to let his cougar out, and what if his mother wasn't right? Deep down he knew she'd been right and he suddenly felt nothing but pity for her. Maybe right now all he wanted was Raine, but he needed to get his head right first.
Running out of the hospital he ran the few blocks to the only place he could control life.
* * *
The familiar burn as a rib cracked kept Kian focused. Kept the pain that could break him from surfacing.
His opponent circled, and Kian mirrored. The guy was hanging by a thread. One more hit and he'd go down like a dried leaf. His knuckles throbbed, but he couldn't stop.
The basement fight reeked of sweat and blood and God only knew what else. He did the dance with the guy across from him. Who would strike first. The guy lunged out, Kian grabbed his head and wrapped his arm around his neck. Seconds passed as the guy flung his arms around making contact with Kian's temple but he didn't have enough sense or enough feeling to release. One, two, and the guy finally passed out. Kian dropped him to the cold concrete and he stumbled off.
His cougar should feel better by now. He should feel fine. His cougar should be working off the need that coursed through him. The issue was, the pain ripping through him wasn't enough. A memory of Raine’s curves flashed before him and he was greeted with a punch to the jaw.
Fucking coward.
He punched back and the guy backed down. He didn't need another fight. It wasn't going to fix anything.
Spitting blood onto the concrete floor, the red mixed with other DNA left by the fighters before him. If anyone ever figured out that whole cloning thing, this floor would be their petri-dish.
As the crowd cheered he stepped out of the throng of people.
Why in the hell wasn't he feeling better? He'd won. That always worked. His cougar seemed to be pacing,
