That evening, she prayed for the best. But the following morning, her uncertainties and fear crept back into her mind.
Montana was beautiful. Leah and her family were polite and kind. But that wasn’t why she had traveled all that way to enjoy the scenery and another’s family.
***
Over the next two weeks, Zack came to two more suppers and stopped by on a few other occasions. But they were only brief visits and she rarely had a moment alone with him. It made her wonder what she had done wrong, if he had decided her birthmark was much too cumbersome to deal with. That she was too much.
The idea of returning to New York City kept her awake at night.
She shuddered and wrapped herself tight in the blankets, squeezing her eyes shut as she attempted to convince herself that she had never been a prisoner and would never be one again. But just thinking about her drab rooms and the quiet days alone bothered her.
“Della? Is everything all right?”
Blinking, she glanced around and then turned to Leah. “I’m sorry?”
The other woman leaned forward as the rest of her family ate. “You haven’t touched your food. And you didn’t eat earlier today, did you? You’re not falling ill, are you?”
A full plate of food sat untouched before her. As everyone glanced at her, Della felt the heat climb up her cheeks. She thought fast. “Ah. Yes, I see. I mean no. No, I’m not ill. I’m just… I was thinking about the Christmas baking you were discussing yesterday.”
The younger girls beamed. “Chocolates!”
Della swallowed and then smiled. “Not quite, I… My mother would host these parties and have the most incredible food. Plum pudding, roasted nuts, and even Victoria cakes.”
Nodding, Leah beamed. “Wonderful. We shall make those this weekend. I wasn’t thinking of cakes, but we must have them. They’re one of Zack’s favorites. Thank you, Della.”
She nodded after picking up her fork. She had to eat something. So, she dove into the food. Then she dove into Christmas preparations with Leah. Della needed something to distract her from Zack’s strange behavior. And as Ross began to visit for a few more days, she found herself developing an attachment with the boy.
It wasn’t on purpose and soon, Della worried if that was a bad idea. If things didn’t work out well, then it could end in heartbreak. She didn’t understand Zack and spent most nights worrying about everything going on. What was she doing there, if he had changed his mind about marrying her?
Chapter 8
“And after that,” Ross explained, “Della showed me how to draw my horse. Look!”
Zack gripped the reins tightly before glancing over at the piece of paper his son pulled out. It took him two turns of the head to get a good look. There were scribbles around the page, but there was indeed a sketch of a horse on one corner of the page.
Nodding, he gave his son a grin. “That’s really good, Ross. You have some talent there. Well done.”
The boy beamed. “Thanks! Is she ever going to come over and visit at our house? I don’t think Della goes anywhere like I do. Maybe she would want to come to school with me and Henry. Could she come with me, Papa?”
He hesitated only a second before shaking his head. “No, Ross. She’s too old for that. I think she has been to school enough.”
“Oh.” The boy shrugged and then hopped down once they came to a stop at their barn. “I still think she should come over. She hasn’t seen my horse yet. I told her I would.”
Unhitching the horses, Zack tried to imagine bringing Della over to the house. He had meant to do it at one occasion. Maybe her first week there. But she looked so comfortable at his sister’s house that he didn’t want to be a bother. Besides, it was easier to visit her there instead of bringing her to his house and then taking her back. That didn’t make any sense to him.
So, he told Ross. “I don’t know when she’s coming over, Ross. Don’t plan on it. Not yet, anyways.”
“Then when?” the boy asked hopefully.
“I don’t know,” Zack repeated. He gripped the reins tightly on Billy, wishing Ross could talk about something else.
But the boy was persistent. “What about tomorrow?”
“No, Ross.”
“Then Christmas?”
Zack gritted his teeth. “I don’t know!” The words came out louder and harsher than he had intended. After he winced, he opened his eyes and turned to see Ross’s face. His son was frozen in his tracks, eyes to the ground with a tight-lipped look like he was trying not to cry.
That was a mistake. Zack hadn’t meant any of it. His heart tightened as he attempted to backtrack. But as Zack opened his mouth, he couldn’t find any words. “Ross, I… that wasn’t what I meant.”
“I know.” The words were so small in little Ross’s mouth. “I’m sorry.”
There was a tense silent as Zack forced himself to pull his thoughts together. “Go back to the house. You can… you can put your picture up somewhere. Any place you like. I’ll take care of the horses and - and then we’ll eat.”
Ross turned away. “I’m not hungry.” And then he hurried back to the house.
It wouldn’t do him any good to follow. He had already apologized. Shaking his head, Zack went to work with the horses. Keeping his hands busy helped him to think. His thoughts wandered over to his son. He wasn’t doing enough to be a good father. But he didn’t know how to do any better.
That reminded him of how he wanted to get the boy
