My standard answer is always “no.”
No, I’m way too busy this week.
No, I don’t have a babysitter.
No, I have other plans. Maybe some other time.
“Yes, that would be great. I can’t wait to hear your ideas.” How easily I accepted his invitation is foreign to me, but somehow it feels right, too. Maybe I’m finally moving on, not simply turning the page but starting a brand-new book.
We settle on a time and place to meet for dinner before going to our classrooms. We plan to drive separately, and I’m relieved to avoid the awkward goodbye scene at the front door. Kiss or no kiss? Handshake or hug? Friendly smile or awkward wave? All these unknowns and ambiguities make dating not worth the effort.
But meeting a friend for dinner then driving myself home? I can do that.
After I walk Landen to his room, I head into mine and start setting up for the day. I can’t stop thinking about the note Glenna took from Rod regarding Isabelle and their home situation. When I talked to the school counselor about it, she filled me in on the rest of the story of why Rod had to take temporary guardianship of his niece.
Despite how many times I’ve tried to put the thought out of my mind, I can’t help but wonder if his sister’s diagnosis is why he left the island early and without saying anything to anyone about it. If so, he’s trying much harder than I originally thought to hide his soft heart under a false shell of apathy. He briefly mentioned them while we were together, and I could tell they were important to him from the slight change in his tone.
But then I remind myself how and why we parted, and I have to accept I’m not the woman he cares about. He proved that to me beyond a shadow of doubt with his actions, both then and now. If he had any regrets about shredding my heart and my pride, he would’ve tried to make amends by now. He’s had plenty of opportunities to talk to me, and waiting for him to man up only reveals how foolish I am.
No more promises in the dark. He was so convincing that morning after his run on the beach. I fell for his lies and lines and kept falling until the truth slapped me in the face. I wanted him to be real so badly I convinced myself to ignore all the warning signs. That’s something I swore I’d never do again before I met him. Now I’m considering having it tattooed on my ass as a permanent reminder.
Cam, on the other hand, is handsome, kind, and thoughtful. He doesn’t set my nerves on edge or send the fluttering in my chest into overdrive, but he could be good for Landen and me. Damn Rod for obliterating my belief that I could be happy alone. After spending nearly all my time on the island with Rod, I’m craving companionship and someone to share my life with, and to find someone who wants to be with me too.
Could Cam be that someone?
Glenna has noticed the sly way we flirt with each other over the last few days, consciously avoiding anything too overt. Naturally, the first couple of times he did it, I didn’t read much into it. He’s friendly with everyone, but doesn’t give off the player vibe like Rod does. But I still chalked his covert advances up to him knowing how handsome he is and using it to his advantage. Glenna set me straight on that immediately.
“He’s hot, Daisy. Like, hot hot, and several other women here have made it clear they were interested in him. He made it clear he wasn’t interested in any of them, though. He likes you. Maybe you should give him a chance.”
She doesn’t understand why I’m so hesitant. I haven’t been able to bring myself to tell her about the fiasco with Rod yet, Or about Landen’s father.
Sometimes I feel as if I’m trapped in prison, one I’ve built around myself one wall at a time.
“Good morning.” Glenna’s eyebrows are high on her forehead, she’s doing a slow wave, and one side of her mouth is quirked upward. No doubt she’s been in that same position for more than a few minutes now. “Where’d you go? Because you have not been in the same solar system with me since I walked into the room.”
“Cam asked me to go to dinner tonight and talk about the summer camp. I said yes, and now I’m trying not to freak and back out of it.” That’s the partial truth. The full truth is far too complicated and not anything I’m prepared to share yet.
“That’s the best news I’ve heard in a long time. You’re definitely not backing out on him. Just think about how awkward that would be the next time you see him here.”
“You know, that’s a fantastic point. If we start something and it ends badly, we’ll both feel awkward here. Everyone else will feel it too. It’s best not to start anything at all. Thanks for helping me think this through.”
“Hey, that’s not what I meant, and you know it. You need to live a little, Daisy, while you’re still young enough to have fun. There comes a time when all you can see are the years passing by, and all the opportunities you’ve missed because you let fear rule you. Don’t waste your life hiding your heart away.”
“Are you still mad at me?” Tracy is already at my house when I get home from work, which is odd since she normally works longer hours at her office downtown than I do at the school.
“Of course I’m still mad at you.”
“But you said you love me.” She pouts, pursing her lips and giving me
