“Shut up,” I mumble.
“You want to take a ride on his disco stick,” she sings, making me laugh.
Well, she’s not wrong.
“Keep it down. They could come in at any minute.”
Her eyes widen. “So you’re admitting it?”
I roll my eyes at her while I busy myself putting the leftovers away.
“I’ll admit that I find him very attractive, but he’s a friend. A very good friend. I don’t know if I want to ruin that.”
She slides up next to me, wrapping her arm around my shoulder. “My mom always says that relationships are built on trust and a strong friendship. Looks like you got that down. Why not give it a shot?”
“I’m scared,” I admit softly.
“Of what?” she asks just as gently.
“I haven’t told anyone, but Xavier makes me feel alive. Like he has awoken a part of me that has been paralyzed since Ryan died. What happens if I act on these feelings I’m having and it ruins our friendship? What if I’m just now getting back to normal and one wrong step derails all of my progress?”
She gives me a tight smile. “I can’t answer those questions for you. All I can tell you to do is follow your heart. You can’t be afraid of living your life because you might lose someone. If you do, then before you know it your life will pass you by and leave you with nothing to show for it. What if you pass on this and in ten years, you find out he’s married with kids and you look back and wonder what it would have been like if you had taken that chance? Would you be able to live with the ‘what-ifs?’”
My heart stops at the thought of him with someone else. I don’t know exactly when it happened, but she’s right. My feelings for him have been growing and changing since day one. I might have planned to stay just friends, but I’m not sure that’s even a possibility anymore. Can I continue on the way we are going? What happens if he gets a girlfriend? I don’t think I could stand around and watch him flirt with another woman the way he does with me.
“You’re right. Tonight, I lay my cards on the table and see where his head is at.”
“Well, I can tell you where his eyes were at. On you throughout dinner. He couldn’t stop watching you.”
“Stop it.” I smack her arm.
She grabs my hand, holding it. “Babe, I know you’ve had it rough, but you have to start living your life. I’m not saying forget about what happened or don’t feel your pain. I don’t think that pain will ever go away fully, but this man makes you smile. I mean, I haven’t seen you brighten up the way you do with him with anyone else, even before everything. So all I’m saying is consider it.”
I let out a deep sigh. “Okay. I’ll think about it.”
She wraps her arm in mine. “Great. Let’s get out there. I see others filtering up.”
I let her pull me out on the back deck and down the stairs. I can see Jack and Xavier by a small fire in the distance. Standing right next to them? Two beautiful girls.
A pang in my chest hits me.
I wish Rebecca had kept her big mouth shut. I don’t want to confront my feelings for this man. Especially if it may lead to rejection.
My steps falter as I walk closer, watching as the brunette places her hand on his arm.
I can see her mouth moving and all I can feel is disappointment. She’s gorgeous. Of course, he’s going to want to spend time with her tonight.
He moves slightly, dislodging her hand before looking back toward the house.
His eyes find mine.
Then he smiles before walking toward me. He wraps his arm around my shoulders, pressing a kiss to the side of my head.
“What…” I start.
“Hey, babe. Come meet, Lindsey. She was just telling me how she loves to dance. I told her you do too,” he shouts as he leads me over to the girl.
She sneers at me. “Who is this?”
“This is my girlfriend, Cassandra, who I was telling you about.”
My eyes widen slightly, but I try to hide it.
“Oh,” the girl huffs. “I think I see my friend waving for me.”
She doesn’t bother saying goodbye as she hustles over to a group of girls that have gathered a little farther down the beach.
Xavier doesn’t let me go once she leaves. Instead, he looks down at me with an amused look on his face.
“What was that?” I ask.
He chuckles. “I’m just following your amazing example. Isn’t that how we met? You wanted to get rid of a pushy guy, so you pretended I was your boyfriend?”
I grimace. “I guess so.”
“So I figured turnabout’s fair play. Now you get to be my girlfriend for the night. Let me tell you, Adra. I expect my girlfriend to be doting.”
I roll my eyes at him. “Don’t you want to leave yourself open in case you meet a girl you do like? If I pretend to be your girlfriend, I expect respect. No cheating on me, fake or otherwise.”
He leans in closer, ghosting his lips across my cheek. “Don’t worry. I have no interest in those girls.”
I swallow hard. “Well then, I guess I can be your girlfriend for a little while.”
“Good. Let’s go see what Jack’s doing.”
He pulls me over to Jack and Rebecca, who are surrounded by a group of people. Xavier never once let go of me, keeping his arm firmly around my shoulder.
I don’t miss the way his thumb caresses my shoulder or how he turns, pressing his lips to my temple as he laughs.
This is comfortable.
Maybe Rebecca is right.
Xavier
I sit in a chair in front of the fire, watching the girls dance to the music playing from the portable speaker. I take a sip of my beer and relax back
