“What I’m sure of is I can’t take it anymore. I want to know what your lips feel like against mine.”
I slam my lips down onto hers, taking her into a brutal kiss. Neither one of us is gentle as we press closer, attempting to meld together as one. I swipe my tongue against her lips, urging her to open up. When she doesn’t right away, I nip her bottom lip, making her gasp. Taking the moment of surprise, I slip my tongue into her mouth, rubbing against hers. She doesn’t hesitate, moving her tongue into my mouth for its own exploration.
We kiss and kiss for who knows. Hands roving. Her hands make their way under my shirt, up my abs, and around to my back. She grinds down onto me, making me groan.
“Avi,” she whimpers.
“Not here, Adra. I won’t have our first time be on a beach where sand can get into places it doesn’t belong,” I tell her, making her laugh.
“I’m sorry,” she says once she calms down, pulling back.
“What are you sorry for?”
“Pushing.” She sighs, brushing her loose girls away from her face.
“Hey, I like you pushing, but not here. I’m thinking about the both of us when I say no,” I tell her, running my thumb over her bottom lip.
“Make-out buddies?”
“For now,” I say, making us both smile.
“For now.”
7
Cassi
Avi: What are you wearing right now?
I smile as I peek at the text. I’m starting to regret taking evening classes. It seemed like a great idea. Take all my classes between noon and seven and still have time for a party if I want. Plus, sleeping in is a must. I’m not a morning person.
You know who is a morning person? Xavier Walsh. Meaning while I’m getting my beauty sleep, he’s studying hard in class. Then when he’s done for the day and wants to see me, I’m in class. Instead of going to a party, we usually meet up for an hour or two before he heads back to his dorm to get some sleep.
Lather, rinse, repeat.
We haven’t done anything further than kissing so far, but I want to. I want to bad.
A little voice in the back of my head is telling me to pump the breaks. That part of me is clinging to Xavier for a not so noble reason, but I hush it.
Truth is, I like the way he makes me feel.
He makes me feel like I’m gorgeous. Like my broken pieces aren’t a deterrent. It doesn’t make me less. Like they just make me well me.
He’s a great friend.
My phone buzzes in my hand again. I glance down.
Avi: Ignoring me again? I might have to spank that ass later.
My skin heats as tingles soar down to my core. He’s such a damn tease.
If women are cock teases, what do you call men that tease?
A poon-tease? Cunt-tease? Clit-tease?
Whatever it is, Xavier has it on lock.
For the past week, we’ve been hanging out like friends do. A couple of the guys have been there with us, but sometimes it’s just us. Those are the nights I like the most. While the guys are fun to hang out with, Xavier keeps his distance when they’re around.
When they aren’t though, we end up making out like teenagers. Sometimes his hands roam my body, but they stay away from anything too private. It makes me wonder if he’s a virgin.
Would that matter?
Absolutely. Not because I wouldn’t still want him, but because I’m a mess myself. I don’t really know if men view their virginity like women, but I don’t think I could take the responsibility of taking it from someone.
Especially someone I care about.
While we are messing around a little, I still care about Xavier. He’s a really good guy. I can tell by the way he’s considerate toward the guys or the way he’s always doing small things for Jack, when he doesn’t realize it. Like buying extra pepper jack cheese to put in the fridge because it’s Jack’s favorite, even though he doesn’t care for it.
Honestly, I’m blown away by Xavier. He may look like your typical rich boy, wearing hundred-dollar shirts and driving an expensive car, but inside, he’s down to Earth. He never tries to flaunt his money.
The way he’s kind to everyone reminds me of my granddaddy. He was always kind to everyone too. Quick to give a smile or hold open a door for someone, male or female. I find the same in Xavier. If he walks with me to class, he grabs the door. If we go somewhere in his car, he makes me wait for him to open the car door. When we all went to dinner last night, he even quietly paid for an elderly couple’s meal who sat next to us. He didn’t say anything, but I saw him arrange it with the server. The wink he sent me when he caught me looking melted my panties.
They say all the good men are hard to find. If that’s the truth, I know I should be chomping at the bit to claim him, but he has his issues and I have mine.
I smile as my phone buzzes a third time.
Jared: Can we meet tonight?
My stomach drops. It’s not Xavier, but Jared. Jared, who I have pushed out of my mind.
I feel guilty for cutting him off, but being around him makes me feel like I’m suffocating.
I know I’m going to need to face him, eventually. He was a huge part of my life and while I’ve found a way to cope with my grief; I know he has not.
Maybe today’s not that day. I tell myself.
Still, as my finger hovers over the “N,” I hesitate.
Taking a deep breath, I tell him “yes” instead. Then I let Xavier know I can’t meet tonight.
Fuck. Why am I so fucked up?
I don’t listen to anything for the rest
