“He should. I broke up with him.”
She gives me a sad smile. “Yes, you did. His heart is aching, but you made valid points. If I’m not mistaken, I feel like you might have broken your own heart in the process as well.”
I give her a small smile, showing her she’s on the right track.
“I saw it when I came down before. Xavier cares deeply for you. I saw your face when he called you a friend. After you ran off, I read him the riot act. I couldn’t believe he would treat you so carelessly. Do you know what he told me?” When I shake my head no, she continues, “He said that you had some emotional scars you were working through and that he didn’t want to scare you off by using more serious labels.”
“He’s the one who took dating off the table. I would have dated him from the start,” I tell her.
“I know. He told me that too. He wouldn’t tell me why, but I knew why. I’m assuming Xavier told you our past?”
“He did.”
“Good. He needed to. I’m always going to be his friend, but the past couple months? I’m no longer his best friend. That’s you. You’re who he is confiding in. Who he spends all of his time with. He cares about you.”
“I care about him too. When Rebecca told me he was in the hospital, I flipped out. I’m still anxious even though the doctor told us he would be okay. Like I won’t believe it until I see him for myself.”
She gives me a warm smile, reaching out to grab my hand. “He’s lucky to have you.”
I let out a sigh. “No offense, but your boyfriend made it seem like I wasn’t even welcome here.”
She laughs. “Like Finley would know anything about Xavier would want. They aren’t exactly the best of friends. He doesn’t know Xavier like you or I do. He doesn’t know that you didn’t ask about his parents because you don’t know about their relationship, but because you know it would mean the world to him if they showed up. Just like you know it’s going to hurt like hell when he finds out they didn’t bother to come. Trust me, Xavier would want you here.”
“Thank you,” I murmur.
“You’re welcome. I think that if we talked more, we could be friends. Besides, I need someone to team up on Xavier with.”
She bumps my knee with hers as she giggles.
I give her a warm smile. “I’m sorry if I was cold to you before.”
She gives me a knowing smile in return. “If some chick showed up hugging on my man, I would be a little more than upset, even if he told me they were just friends. No worries.”
“Tin tin, they are ready to let us back.”
We turn and see Finley call from down the hall.
“Coming,” she calls to him.
She pulls me up, wrapping her arm in mine. Once we get back to the waiting room, she announces, “Cassi and I are going to go back first.”
No one questions her.
The nurse leads us down some halls and through a set of automatic doors. Once at the room, she stops. “He’s still out, but he should come to shortly. They already started weaning him off the medicine to help him recover.”
We both nod before she turns to walk away.
Tinsley steps forward, pushing the door open before taking a step in. She holds the door, turning to look back at me.
I can’t meet her eyes though. All I can see is Xavier lying on the bed.
“Avi,” I breathe out, my eyes prickling with tears.
He is lying in the bed, eyes closed, looking so peaceful.
Just like Ryan did.
My heart beats frantically as I try to reconcile what I’m seeing in front of me and the memories in my head.
He looks like he’s at peace. Like he is sleeping in on a Saturday morning.
Looks deceive. He’s no longer here with us. I hear my mom sob next to me. My heart breaks for her and for my father who is standing next to her, cradling her in his arms, attempting to keep it together. He has his own tears streaming down.
I take a couple steps forward toward the bed. Once at the side, I reach out, brushing his hand.
It’s cold to the touch. Not warm like it usually is. His chest isn’t moving. His eyes aren’t fluttering behind the eyelids. His skin is pale, a bluish tint setting in.
My heart cracks, looking at my best friend. My brother. The tears fall easily as my head pounds with the pressure. I cling to that cold hand, willing my life force into his.
I can’t live without him. How am I going to live without him?
This is all my fault. I shouldn’t be here, he should be. He was the responsible one. The good child.
I pull his hand up to my lips, pressing a quick kiss to it before turning and running from the room.
No one calls after me. No one runs after me.
I’m all alone.
I lost him.
Ryan.
That same cracking feeling hits my chest, warning me I’m about to crumble.
“Cassi?” Tinsley’s voice drifts to me, but I can’t answer her.
Instead, I shake my head at her, backing away from the door. Her eyes hold concern, but I can’t. I can’t go in there.
“I can’t do this. I’m sorry,” I sob.
Then I’m running.
This isn’t the same hospital. This isn’t even the same city, but the feeling is the same.
The helplessness. The desperation. The complete and utter desolation of my heart.
I don’t stop running until I’m in the stairwell, bent over attempting to breathe through my tears.
I hear the door open
