She smiled. She was excited about starting her new job and implementing some of the innovative marketing strategies she had been working on.
Ronnie finished the last bite of her sandwich and her glass of milk. She shut down her laptop and reached for the bag of books, and immediately the image of Red popped into her mind.
Well, she didn’t want Red in her mind. He had already taken up too much of her headspace…
Ronnie sauntered over to the living room and set the books on the coffee table before going to her bedroom to change into her pajamas. She would relax with one of her new books for a bit until she felt ready to go to bed.
Moments later she curled up on one corner of the couch. Pulling the books out of the bag, she smiled at the cover of the one she had picked up for Andy. She would enjoy reading it together with him soon. Ronnie set aside the Giller Prize–winning book, wanting to savor it when she had a bigger block of time. She stared at the title of the next book. Moving On: Embracing a New Chapter of Your Life. Hmm. Did she really want to get into that now? She reread the blurb on the back cover and skimmed over the table of contents.
Serious stuff.
She could actually skip over the first three chapters. She had accepted the past and looked at her options, which had led to the packing up and moving out theme of chapter three. Now she considered herself happily at the unpacking stage.
Ronnie yawned. She’d pick one chapter to read and then call it a night. But which one? Her gaze flew over the next few chapter headings and stopped at chapter seven, Learning to Trust Again. Was she ready to do that? Did she want to?
Trusting again… That implied a desire or readiness to invest in a new relationship. Which meant that reading this chapter would just bring Red back into her headspace…whether she liked it or not.
Red had said he didn’t have a “significant other” and had referred to himself as “once burned, twice shy.” And then he had gone on to say that he had been “scorched.” She couldn’t see him being ready to trust again. Why would he want to get involved with someone else after such a terrible experience?
Why would she? After all, like Ronnie had said to Red, they weren’t exactly knocking at her door.
Well, not “they,” actually. Just Red.
And all he had wanted was her peanut butter cookies. Not her.
With a wistful sigh, she started to read the chapter anyway…
* * *
Red shut down his laptop and got ready for bed. Minutes later he was staring at the ceiling, his brain a jumble of conflicting thoughts. Maybe he should have had a cup of herbal tea instead of the brandy…
Impatiently, he threw back the covers. Running his fingers through his hair, he strode to the large casement window that overlooked the expanse of pond. Snowflakes were drifting gently down, occasionally sticking to the window. They were tiny and intricate. Beautiful.
Like Ronnie…
But out of reach.
The metaphorical glass between them was a little boy. No—two little boys. Andy and Marco.
Andy was Ronnie’s shield against the intrusion of another man in her life—or so he had inferred from her comments about Andy being her priority. And even though Marco was no longer in his life physically, he was still in Red’s mind…and heart…
A knot nudged its way into his throat, helped along by twinges of guilt.
Perhaps he should have never encouraged Marco to get so close to him. Maybe he should have kept his distance more, until he and Sofia had been on the same page when it came to their feelings for each other.
He had assumed too much. He had thought that once she had taken care of business in Italy, they would move forward in their relationship.
Red felt a surge of anger shoot through him. He had been so naive when it came to Sofia. He had trusted her, believed her when she had told him that all those trips back to Italy were absolutely necessary. Four trips in two months…
He gave a cynical laugh. What a fool he had been!
And he had innocently encouraged the bond between himself and Marco to grow…
How could he not feel guilt now over the fact that it must have exacerbated the loss and confusion Marco would have felt at Red’s sudden disappearance from his life?
Red turned away from the window. Sofia hadn’t been the only one to blame in all this. He had to accept his share of it, even though he had only ever had the best of intentions when it had come to Marco…
Taking a deep breath, he walked to his dresser and picked up the photo of him and Marco. He stared at it for a long time, forcing himself to accept his conflicting feelings. He really had no choice but to move forward with his life…
The photo became blurry. “I’m so sorry, Marco,” he rasped. “I never wanted to hurt you.” He set it back down, wiped his eyes and went to bed.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
FROM THE BRIGHTNESS in her room, Ronnie realized that she had slept in. She had obviously needed it. She stretched languorously before reaching for her cell phone on her night table to check the time. Nine twenty…
She padded to the living room and looked out the bay window. Last night’s snow and wind had come to a stop. The surface of the bay and the dense woodlands beyond the blanketed shoreline were glistening with pinpoints of sunlight. It would be a perfect day to go for a walk in the woods—do some “forest bathing,” as she had heard it called. Refresh her mind and spirit out in nature. Maybe she’d even spot a snowshoe hare or a fox…
You have work to do, her inner slave driver reminded her. Boxes to unpack, shelves to line, clothes to
