I chuckle because, boy, if she only knew.
“Well, for starters, I told my dad off after one of his rants and I threw a mug on the floor and told him to clean it up, all while accusing him of having beer holders for arms.” I take a deep breath from the run-on sentence I just spit out. “Then I decided to check out a college campus.”
“Well, good for you, babe! I’m proud of you for sticking up for yourself! And I think it’s awesome you ventured onto a campus! Even if it was just to get a feel for it. That is such a huge step, Cam! And don’t let that low-life waste of space on your birth certificate make you feel otherwise. I wish I could have been there when you went full Dark Phoenix on his ass.”
Within the last year, I came clean with Camilla. I shared every gory and brutal detail.
I thought it would be better to open up when she was already settled at Harvard with Shane, because, knowing her, she would want to come back and get an apartment with me. I couldn’t have that.
“Well, you’re coming back to visit for the holidays, right? I’m sure we’ll be seeing each other then.”
“Uh, duh. I can’t go through Christmas without seeing my bestie, and giving her a present!” I roll my eyes because she really is such a sap—the complete opposite of me.
”QVC is holding their breath in anticipation of your call,” I tease.
Camilla is obsessed with all things on the QVC Channel. And she always ends up buying the most absurd, yet thoughtful, gadgets. Things that only a generous, albeit slightly gullible, girl like my best friend would be inclined to “need.” I’m sure they know her by name now. She always told me they gave her two of whatever she ordered by accident as an excuse to give me one. But I knew the truth.
She playfully scolds me, “Oh shut up, you wench. You love it.”
Changing the subject, I ask, “So, how’s Harvard treating you?”
I hear a low sigh, “It’s amazing but brutal, and these new courses are no joke. I’m lucky I have time to shower lately.” My eyebrows scrunch together in disgust at the idea.
“And Shane?”
She stays quiet a minute, and I hear a door slam in the background. She speaks quieter now, almost in a whisper, “We’re great. Just extremely busy. Balancing school and our relationship does have its challenges. But we’re making it work.”
“That’s great, Milla. He’s a great guy. And you know how hard that is for me to admit.” She chuckles through the phone.
“He really is, and I adore him. He just drives me a little crazy--” she’s interrupted by loud knocks on the door that she must have closed for some privacy.
“Oh no, no, you are NOT wearing that shirt! Change it! You look like the purple Teletubbie, babe!” I hear Shane defending his outfit of choice, but, as usual, my best friend wins the argument.
Laughing now, she brings her focus back to me. “Anyway, we’re doing date night. Shane insists it’s important for us to go out at least once a month no matter how busy we get.” She sighs in contentment. “I can’t wait for us to unwind. But, he chose an Indian place, and I don’t even know where to begin figuring out what to wear to an Indian restaurant.”
I shake my head and smile at their antics.
“I hate to cut you off Cam, but I need to figure out my outfit! I love you, my badass best friend!” Milla hangs up immediately after, never waiting for me to say it back. Because she knows I won’t.
She knows I can’t.
Just when I feel like my day is turning out to be pretty awesome, the realization of how I reacted to my father crashes into me like a Mack Truck on a highway. I can’t believe I actually said all that to him. Consequences be damned.
But what’s the worst he can do? Kick me out? I probably could have afforded to live on my own for a while now; I save almost everything I earn.
The house has been paid off since I was a kid so I don’t pay rent, just the gas bill, which is cheap for our small house. Surprisingly, my dad pays the electric and other bills. I’m really just left with my cell phone and a credit card I rarely use. I receive financial aid for my online college courses, so I’m not buried in student loan debt either. Then why don’t I just take the leap? Be on my own?
Well, because the thought alone petrifies me.
I need to do something.
I spot a gas station across the street, and my feet carry me to it so I can escape these invisible walls I feel closing in on me.
Three
Cameron
I head into the store, desperate to be alone. My black boots soundlessly trek ahead as I keep my head down and wander around aimlessly. Why I feel like a tiny 7-Eleven is an answer, I’ll never know. For the most part, it’s quiet. A few teenagers are huddled together as if they’re conspiring.
I try to listen as I stand in the card aisle right next to theirs. I peek through the top and notice one of the guys, a tall, lanky blonde with a red Nike tee, pointing behind himself to the refrigerator of beer. He whispers, “I’ll grab it while you two go to the register and distract the guy.”
The kid next to him, much shorter and wider with darker hair, nods in agreement. “It’s definitely a good conversation starter.”
They both snicker quietly to each other. They’re trying to steal beer. A third walks over, holding a box of tampons. Real original.
He speaks unnecessarily loud, “I don’t know why I have to be the one to get her damn plugs! I’m not the one who needs them!”
An older man at the other end
