“I’m sorry,” I whispered and begged again.
“It’s too late for apologies,” she said, and then the needle was jabbing into my arm. I yelped in pain and in fear, but it was too late. All went black.
All went black.
Chapter Thirty-Four
Isucked in air as my eyes bolted open. My face touched the cold floor of the room, and my gaze travelled about the space. Four cold, desolate walls. A cot. A makeshift desk attached to the wall. The emptiness ricocheted through my soul. I tried to spring to my feet, but whatever was in my veins made me ache. My limbs felt sluggish. I pulled myself up onto the cot, desperation racking my chest.
It couldn’t be happening. It wasn’t happening. Tears fell, and a scream rocked through my throat. Angry and afraid, I crossed the cell to the door and pounded until my fists ached.
No one came. I screamed and yelled some more.
Still, no one came.
And then she did.
***
“Let me out,” I shrieked as she entered the room, a syringe in her hand. I eyed the needle warily, knowing that in a few strides, it would all be black again. I whimpered, rubbing my arm where she’d stabbed me the last time. My limbs were still heavy, leaden, with whatever she’d injected into me. I wiped at my tear-soaked face as I backed against the cold stone walls.
“Darling, there, there. It’s okay,” Anna whispered, an unrecognizable being from the night before. Was it the night before? I didn’t even know anymore.
“Get away from me. Let me out. I don’t belong here.”
“Oh dear. Have you forgotten?” she asked, as she lowered the syringe, her full lips pouty.
Sniveling, I wiped my nose and studied her. I didn’t offer the courtesy of responding.
“You killed him. That’s why you’re here,” she said.
I shook my head, which felt too heavy for my neck. What was she talking about? My fingers scratched into the wall.
She smiled sweetly. “The man in 5B. Terrible tragedy. Poor thing. You stabbed him. I guess it was all too much for you after all. It’s okay. This place gets the best of the weak.”
I shook my head, realizing too late that the sweet smile was covering up her maniacal plan.
“No,” I whispered, shaking my head. “I didn’t kill him and you fucking know it.” I slammed my fists into the cold wall. She didn’t move. In fact, she raised her left hand and studied her nail as if this were the least exciting conversation in the world. As if the destruction of my life was not worth her time.
“It’s okay. The mind is a wonderous thing. It shields us from the harsh truths we don’t want to see. Just like how 5B used the drawings and the talk of those kids to shield himself from the true horrors of what he did.”
“I didn’t do it and you know it. I didn’t do it. What have you done?”
Anna stopped inspecting her nail to look at me. Her face was placid. She played the part so well. So, so well.
“I didn’t do anything. You did. At least that’s what the police have decided. Reality, after all, belongs to the wise. And you haven’t been wise. Poor thing. It’s not your fault your mind is so fragile. The staff is all in an uproar about it. Adding stories about your instability. You really did make my job easy after all, with all of your crazy talk and erratic behavior. It was so believable when we talked about how you stabbed him, and how you were murmuring about the ghosts of 5B when I passed you in the hall.”
“You bitch,” I shrieked, ripping at my hair.
“Maybe. But I’m the one who is free. You’re the one who’s screwed.”
“You won’t get away with this forever,” I bellowed.
“Maybe not. Forever is a long time. But don’t worry. You’ll have time to replay it all over and over. To think about how you could’ve done it differently. Thankfully for you, I’ve pulled some strings. No one has to know about this, about what you’ve done. We’ll shield you from the terrors of a trial and prison and all of that ridiculousness. We’ll keep you here until you’re well.”
I crossed the room at that, ready to lunge for her throat. But I was still weak from whatever she’d given me, and she was so strong. She had me on the floor in a second, the needle poised above my left eye close enough to make me squirm.
“Move and you’ll lose it,” she demanded, the sweetness gone.
Tears welled as I settled into defeat. Maddening defeat.
Slowly, she got off of me and walked to the corner of the room, tucking the syringe in the apron she wore. I slowly peeled myself up to a seated position, my back against the cot, my knees up in protection. Anna turned at the door to smile at me.
But then, in the corner of the room, someone else.
Yellow. Her glowing dress, her red pigtails, her marred face. I gasped, my heart racing. I couldn’t inhale enough air. She slowly raised a hand, her finger pointing at me. I buried my face in my hands. Maybe I had gone mad after all. Maybe Anna was right. Maybe I did belong in Redwood.
There was a long moment of silence where I thought maybe I could disappear into myself. But footsteps approaching startled me. I looked up to see it was Anna.
“What did you think would happen? You can’t get away with it. It always comes back around.” Her words were calm and pointed. And then, when she seemed satisfied with my wrecked state, she turned and left, the door slamming behind her.
I stared in dazed wonderment at the corner of the room.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered to the figure, my only consolation in the hellish place of horrors. But consolation was not what she was there for. I knew that.
