“Yeah I’m here, but how can he do that? There is a lot of money involved, won’t he have to pay it all back? He can’t do this!” I finally get free from the sheets and start pacing around the room.
“They are going to announce it in the morning.” I can hear how sad he is.
“Chris I need to call you back, I need to do something.” I hang up without waiting for an answer. I speed dial Justin, I’m going to chew his ass out!
I have to call five times before he picks up.
“Yeah?” He answers.
“What the hell do you think you are doing?” I yell at him.
“I should have known Chris would call you, look this has nothing to do with you.” He snaps at me.
“It has nothing to do with me? Oh come off of it Justin! You can’t cancel the tour! You have twenty five shows that are already sold out!”
“No, you come off of it Flower! I’ll cancel whatever the hell I want and anyone who doesn’t like it can fuck off!”
“Really? Does that make you feel better? Does it make you feel good to use your power like that? To screw your fans over, and your crew? You need to grow up! You need to get your ass over there and finish the damn tour!” I’m screaming at him.
“Why should I? Give me a reason why I should stay on this tour! And don’t use my fans because I’ll make sure they are taken care of.”
“Because you love your music too much to give it up right now. Because this is not you, the Justin I know would let the tour heal him not hurt him.” My voice is calm and steady.
“The Justin you knew died the minute you left.” I can hear his voice cracking.
“Please don’t do this, please go and finish the tour, if not for yourself do it for me. I’m sorry about everything but I can’t be a rock stars girlfriend, I can’t live in the limelight. But don’t punish everyone else because I was too weak to go on.”
“Will you promise me something?”
“What?”
“If I stay on tour, will you promise me that once I come home that we can spend some time together, and figure something out. I don’t want to lose you Flower.” My heart is breaking right now.
“I promise I’ll be here when you get back.” I whisper.
“I love you Flower.” I can tell he is crying.
“I love you too.” I hang up and sink to the floor.
THE GUYS HAVE been over seas for three weeks now. I have been following everything they do online. Luckily the press didn’t do what we thought they would. The tabloid that printed that nasty article didn’t do a follow up about it and no one else made a big deal about me. I like to think it is because I came home, but maybe the fight was for nothing. Guess we will never know. I talk to Chris everyday, and sometimes Dave and Scot too. Justin and I talk about twice a week. It’s still really hard on both of us, but we end each call by saying I love you.
The Paris show is in two days, and I’m flying out to surprise the guys. Chris knows but he promised not to tell anyone. He said that the back room on the bus was still there if I wanted to stay. I asked him why didn’t he use it, he said it didn’t feel right, that it was my room.
Tammy has stopped by a few times to check on me, we are starting to get along, well to a point. I still don’t like her but it is nice to have someone to talk to. She is taking me to the airport tonight, with the time change and everything I’m hoping to get to the arena right as the buses do. She came over early to help me finish packing.
“So, no one but Chris knows you’re coming?” She asks while making some coffee.
“Nope.” I still don’t know how to act around her, but I’m trying to be nice.
“Have you thought about staying on tour with them?”
“Yeah, but it wouldn’t be a good idea.” It would hurt too much.
“You know if you would change your mind I could ship everything to you, if you would want to go ahead and pack that stuff too.” Hmm, that’s not a bad idea.
“What if he doesn’t want me to stay?” I whisper to myself but she heard me.
“Justin is going to be so happy to see you that he will be begging you to stay.” She pulls on my hand and leads me to my room. “Why don’t we pack all your stuff just in case, and if you do come back, I’ll come over and help you unpack.”
For the next two hours we pack almost every item of clothing I own. I’m taking one suit case and a carry on with me, but she will ship three suit cases to me if I need them. Will I need them? Will he want me to stay? Could I handle going on tour again? These last three weeks alone have been hell but I survived it. Yes I talked on the phone a lot, and Tammy coming over did help, but I’m still here.
“Please text me when you land, and give Chris a hug for me.” Tammy says as they call my flight.
“I will, and thank you so much for everything.” I hug her, I can’t
