“So, what’s going on down there?” he asked as he crouches down in front of me.
“Just looking at this record. I’ve never seen it before,” I said, surprised by his insecurity. He leans in and kisses me then stands and leaves us to continue our discussion. Dustin seems interested in where I’m from. He’s never left Buffalo before.
“The armpit of America,” he said proudly of his hometown. I laughed and told him it’s not so bad.
“Really, not so bad? What have you seen of this city?” he asked.
“I’ve taken the bus downtown, it looked nice,” I said slowly taking another drag. He laughed as he took my offered smoke. I catch Buddy watching us from time to time, but I chose to ignore it. I don’t feel like talking to the girls. It doesn’t bother me that they keep wanting to get his attention and they seem to giggle at every word he says. I know he’s all mine.
It’s about three in the morning when only a few people remain, all pretty mellow. I lean against Buddy on the floor, his legs on either side of me, his hands on my thighs, the back of my head resting on his chest. I begin to trace the scars on his arms.
“How did you get these?” I asked.
“Most of them are self-inflicted. I used to play with knives,” he grinned.
“A few are from fights, broken glass,” he tells me.
“Why the self inflicted ones?” I asked, confused.
“Sometimes I just want to feel pain. Just to remind myself that I’m alive,” he confesses. He reaches for my chin, turning my head to look up at him.
“But when you’re here, I’m alive, I feel it,” he said, looking deep into my eyes. At that moment I wished we were alone. I turn and straddle him, kissing him harder than I ever have before. I feel him tense below me. He wants me too. He wraps his arms around me and I rest my head on his shoulder, letting the sudden urge of passion subside till later.
The next day he tells me he needs to go see his aunt in the hospital and he would like it if I joined him. He wants to introduce me to her. I haven’t met any of his family yet. I nod nervously.
“She took care of me when I was younger. After my Dad went missing, my mother wasn’t herself anymore, she changed. My aunt's terminal now, I don’t know how long she has left so I try and visit as much as possible. I’ve told her all about you,” he said, smiling.
“Really, all about me? I don’t think that was a good idea,” I grinned as I reached for his hands, crossing our fingers together, he pulled me close.
He seems nervous as we enter the hospital. He directs me to the elevator. As we stand close, I can feel his fingers on my thigh, tingling my body. The elevator doors open before I have the chance to turn to him. He holds my hand tightly as we walk towards Helena's room. I’m feeling nervous now. He knocks on the open door and strides in, his beautiful smile directed at his aunt.
“Hi Helena, I’ve brought a visitor,” he said as he pulled me closer to him. I smile and give a slow wave.
“Hi Scarlett Rayne, it’s so nice to finally meet you. I think I heard about you a year ago, I’ve been waiting for your return into Willem’s life,” she said, surprising me. She’s been waiting for my return into his life. I grin as I look at Buddy.
“I was too,” I said, as he squeezed my hand. I noticed her head was wrapped in a beautiful silk scarf and she has covered her hand that’s connected to her IV. I can tell she must have been beautiful, she has a rare dignity I didn't think people possessed anymore.
“So Scarlett, how are you enjoying your stay in the United States? I hope you’ll consider staying longer this time,” she winks at me, as I see her press a pump beside her bed. A crease forms across her forehead, she’s in pain.
“I love being here, although I would love being anywhere if Willem was with me,” I tell her as I look into her eyes. I believe she can see my pain as plainly as I can see hers.
“Come here, come closer,” she orders. I release my hand from Buddy and walked over to her.
“Let me look at you,” she said as she sits up slowly. I stand in front of her as she places her hands on my arms then touches my cheeks.
“She’s so pretty Willem, like a fragile little bird, but there’s something else, something more. Appearances can be deceiving because I can see a fire just below the surface. She’s a fighter Willem. You have chosen well, regardless of what Levana thinks,” she said, staring at me. I try to turn to Buddy, wondering who Levana is, but she touches my cheek with her finger, turning me back to her. Looking into her eyes, I feel as though she is searching, looking for something. She knows our dilemma, she knows my fears. She can tell Buddy doesn’t want to let me go, but knows we have no choice. I smiled as I leaned over and hugged her, feeling close to her suddenly, like she is family. When I stand back up I glance at Buddy, his eyes have clouded, but as I smile at him he blinks, then smiles his adorable grin, walking closer to me.
“Well, I just
